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Song Parodies -> "Seventy-Six, Now Pope"

Original Song Title:

"Seventy-Six Trombones"

Original Performer:

Robert Preston

Parody Song Title:

"Seventy-Six, Now Pope"

Parody Written by:

Bob Gomez

The Lyrics

This is Pope #266.
Seventy-six, now Pope, led the big parade,
With a hundred and ten coneheads close at hand!
They all followed Bergoglio,
Those self-flagellating bro's, toe to heel
St. Peter's Square was jammed!

Seventy-six, crowned Pope, he's an Argentine--
The first Latin to ever give Latin Mass!
After more than a thousand years
Persecuting queers,
Pedophile priests porking puerile ass!

There were blubber-bottomed supplicants, remorse platoons,
Lumbering, stumbling, all along the way!
Mountainous Dominicans like big baboons;
Each buffoon: Vatican's big fat prey!

There were Jesuits and Carmelites, Franciscans, too,
Mumbling, humbling, louder than before!
Votaries with rosaries and coteries of notaries
The bullsh#t piled higher, si, Señor!

Seventy picked our Pope as a counter foil,
A conservative through and through, white and male;
Not a chance that we'll ever see
Women in the papacy
Or a pervert priest sent to jail!

Seventy-six, from Rome, spritzed with olive oil,
Gave a homily, then God-blessed on the air;
Then I stealthily sneaked a space
Next to George (His Holy Grace),
And I cream-pie plopped him fair and square!
©Bob "Mormon Catholic Atheist" Gómez 2013

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Voting Results

 
Pacing: 5.0
How Funny: 5.0
Overall Rating: 5.0

Total Votes: 6

Voting Breakdown

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User Comments

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John Barry - March 15, 2013 - Report this comment
Send this to the Vatican!
Old Man Ribber - March 15, 2013 - Report this comment
Bob - Well, ya got trouble my friend! Thanks for using this original...one of my favorites. Don't cry for me Argentinan. ;D
Bob Gomez - March 15, 2013 - Report this comment
I homily thank you, my brethren.
Lifeliver - March 15, 2013 - Report this comment
Awesome, Bob. My kind of parody. 555. As an atheist, I'm trying to stay out of this debate, but I don't mind people knowing which cloud I sit on - whichever way the cardinals vote, an infallible celibate geriatric gets in. But it's technique and creativity in a parody that stimulate me rather than viewpoint. If the latter bothers me, I tend to just leave it alone. I'm not here for endless polemics and point-scoring.
Dave W. - March 16, 2013 - Report this comment
..It's just a made up story - but a damn good funny one...Heaven's crackin'up
Bob Gomez - March 16, 2013 - Report this comment
Thanks, Lifeliver and Dave, I appreciate the comments. One of the reasons I love this site is the free exchange of ideas through parody and open commentary. The day the government takes away our right to speak our minds in this way is the day I join the Tea Party, buy a gun and/or move to Guadalajara.
Wendy Christopher - March 17, 2013 - Report this comment
Hilarious! And so true - even as I heard the newspeople say he was seventy-six I couldn't help thinking "Oh... so they DIDN'T learn from their last mistake then..!" A well-earned 555
Bob Gómez - March 17, 2013 - Report this comment
Thank you, Wendy. Of course the plus side is we get to write another pope song in a few years.

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