Song Parodies -> If I Had a Hummer (song of the Republican Redneck)

Original Song Title:

"If I Had a Hammer"

Original Performer:

Pete Seeger

  
Parody Song Title:

"If I Had a Hummer (song of the Republican Redneck)"

Parody Written by:

Phil Alexander

If I had a Hummer,
I'd drive it in the morning
I'd drive it in the evening
All over this land
I'd drive over Liberals
I'd drive over the Left Wing
I'd drive all over John F Kerry
A-a-a-ll over this land

If I had a gun
I'd shoot it in the morning
I'd shoot it in the evening
All over this land
I'd shoot all the Liberals
I'd shoot all the left wing
I'd shoot that John F Kerry
A-a-a-ll over this land

If I had a ballot box
I'd rig it in the morning
I'd rig it in the evening
All over this land
I'd rig against Liberals
I'd rig against the left wing
I'd rig against John F Kerry
A-a-a-ll over this land

Now, I've got a Hummer
And I've got a gun
And I've got a ballot box
All over this land
It's my Hummer SUV
It's my M16 assault gun
It's the ballot boxes made by Diebold
A-a-a-ll over this land
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Voting Results
Pacing: 4.3
 
How Funny: 4.2
 
Overall Rating: 4.2
 

Total Votes: 18
Voting Breakdown

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User Comments Follow...

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Robert J. Pagliaro - October 25, 2004 - Report this comment
Oh Phil, you devil. The Reign of terror is almost over - in fact, only EIGHT MORE DAYS. On behalf of the the majority of the Americans who voted for the winner in the last Presidential election, we apologize to the world for the problems that this president (moron) has caused our country and the rest of the world. Save me a room, if they steal it again and there isn't a civil war, I'll have to leave the country. bob
John Barry - October 25, 2004 - Report this comment
Strong ending with the Diebold line.
Meriadoc - October 25, 2004 - Report this comment
Hot Damn, Philbo! Boy, that there's some bunch a be-u-ti-fool idears. Whyantcha all come over for some chicken an' grits an he'p me plan it...? ;-)
Phil Alexander - October 25, 2004 - Report this comment
Thanks...
JB - the two things I do not understand with Diebold are i) given the crap functionality in their software, like the lack of any possible audit trail when it comes to checking votes - why have they been given any contracts whatsoever? and ii) given that their software DOESNT ****ING WORK, how on earth have they been given *more* contracts?
...those questions are rhetorical, I guess: the answer is self-evident :-(
martha - October 25, 2004 - Report this comment
fabulous Phil!
Guy - October 25, 2004 - Report this comment
Phil - I just think it's funny. Here have some fives.
Ingeborg S. Nordén - October 25, 2004 - Report this comment
Minor pacing problems, but great imagery that left me chuckling. 4-5-5.
2Eagle - October 25, 2004 - Report this comment
Have you been to Beautiful Downtown Burbank? It is crawling with hummers. This goes very well with the original song.
Johnny D - October 26, 2004 - Report this comment
Now THIS is why it's fun to listen to the BBC!
Michael Pacholek - October 26, 2004 - Report this comment
Wait, I thought only Democrats got hummers... oh, you mean the trucks... oh... Of course, John Kerry would never settle for that sort of thing. This man is a warrior. He'd say, "I'm goin' in!" And Teresa's better-looking than Hillary.

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