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Song Parodies -> "This Nude Display's Not Stalking (Kournikova)"

Original Song Title:

"These Boots Are Made For Walking"

 (MP3)
Original Performer:

Nancy Sinatra

Parody Song Title:

"This Nude Display's Not Stalking (Kournikova)"

Parody Written by:

Stuart McArthur

The Lyrics

It was only when the police interviewed the 40-year old nudist who's been swim-stalking Anna Kournikova that they unearthed his flawless logic..(for the full news story see the link at the bottom)

You keep sayin' I'm a filthy old pervert
Kournikova don't want me around
I've been a'swimmin' where I shouldn't've been a'swimmin'
that the only me she wants is one-that's-drowned
This nude display's not stalking
That's just what I do
One of these days she'll change her mind and start to undress too

You're not listenin' when you oughta be listenin'
Me and Anna, we got somethin' there
We'll get married • we'll have six nude children
They'll play tennis • they'll have long blonde hair
This nudist aint been stalking
That's just what I do
She and me have got some forehand volleying to do

LEADBREAK

You keep sayin' stop my skinny-dippin'
- that my glistening manhood is quite gross
(HA!)
I BET she finds it secretly attractive
(YEAH!)
I bet she murmurs “I want one of those!”
This nude display's not stalking
That's just what I do
One of these days she'll cave, and strip down to her tennis shoes

SPOKEN

Are you ready Anna?
Start strippin'




http://abclocal.go.com/kgo/news/entertainment/020805ap_ent_kournikova_stalker.html

http://abclocal.go.com/kgo/news/entertainment/020805ap_ent_kournikova_stalker.html

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Original Song: 
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Voting Results

 
Pacing: 5.0
How Funny: 5.0
Overall Rating: 5.0

Total Votes: 20

Voting Breakdown

The following represent how many people voted for each category.

    Pacing How Funny Overall Rating
 1   0
 0
 0
 
 2   0
 0
 0
 
 3   0
 0
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 4   0
 0
 0
 
 5   20
 20
 20
 

User Comments

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Adagio - February 11, 2005 - Report this comment
That's a new one. A nude stalker...doesn't waste time with clothes. Funny one, Stuart! 5's
Stuart McArthur - February 11, 2005 - Report this comment
thanks adagio - not only that but a swimming nude stalker - I've never heard of one before either :-)
alvin rhodes - February 11, 2005 - Report this comment
best parody i've ever read about swimming nude stalkers...5s
AFW - February 11, 2005 - Report this comment
Topical, satirical, and hysterical...6's
Stuart McArthur - February 11, 2005 - Report this comment
thanks alvin - i was only aimimg for top 5, so that's a real compliment - thanks AFW :-)
John Barry - February 11, 2005 - Report this comment
I wonder if all that stroking gave him tennis elbow? Funny, Stuart.
Stuart McArthur - February 11, 2005 - Report this comment
LOL - or did he just hear the line umpire say "new balls please"
Leo Jay - February 11, 2005 - Report this comment
I actually think Anna hired him just to keep herself in the nudes -- I mean news. Excellent job.
Offender - February 11, 2005 - Report this comment
Sounds like he got a bit carried away with his fantasies. I recommend putting him on the next sleazy TV "reality" show for therapy.
Kristof Robertson - February 11, 2005 - Report this comment
"She and me have got some forehand volleying to do "....that stalker needs to chill out, coz he's gatecrashing my turf...she doesn't call, doesn't write....:-) 555
Ravyn Rant - February 11, 2005 - Report this comment
It's not often that I can giggle at stalker parodies, but this is freaking hilarious. Great job!
The Nude Stalker - February 11, 2005 - Report this comment
Stu, make fun of me all you want, but I'll have the last laugh when Anna caves to my glistening manhood.
John Jenkins - February 11, 2005 - Report this comment
The stalker found out the hard way that love means nothing in tennis. Excellent job, Stuart, of adding humor to a humorous story.
Jeff Reuben - February 11, 2005 - Report this comment
Yeah, I heard he caused quite a racket down there (all the good ones were already taken). Excellent!
Stuart McArthur - February 11, 2005 - Report this comment
ha, Jeff, actually it was John Jenkins' one that I couldn't put my finger on - I just had a feeling there was an obvious one still there for the taking

thanks Leo, Offender, Kristof, Ravyn, John and Jeff

I agree, Nude Stalker, but until then, we'll have all the laughs in between :-)
Charlie Decker - February 12, 2005 - Report this comment
Nicely done, Stuart.
Guy - February 12, 2005 - Report this comment
This parody needs no dressing up. Well done Stu. There were several LOLs in this one.
Jake A Ralphing (Luke Brattoni) - February 13, 2005 - Report this comment
Brilliant title, great parody. Drop the dacks and yell "COME ON!!!"
Stuart McArthur - February 14, 2005 - Report this comment
thanks Luke
Stuart McArthur - February 14, 2005 - Report this comment
oh, and thanks Charlie and Guy! :-)
Meriadoc - February 14, 2005 - Report this comment
You mean he didn't even have a wetroot...er...suit?
Stuart McArthur - February 14, 2005 - Report this comment
he was hoping for one, Merry, which is why he put up such a struggle when the coast guard arrived...

(between you and me though, shrinkage would've dashed his plans anyway)
Jake A Ralphing (Luke Brattoni) - February 15, 2005 - Report this comment
...as opposed to being 'between' you and Anna?
Stuart McArthur - February 15, 2005 - Report this comment
Anna and I have always been close, Luke - the only things that come between us are beads of sweat...

(or am I back in that damn parallel universe again?)
Jake A Ralphing (Luke Brattoni) - February 15, 2005 - Report this comment
Sweat beads and Mr Stalker, you mean?
(I think that coplanar universe is actually a bit skewed.) .
Stuart McArthur - February 15, 2005 - Report this comment
fortunately, thanks to our good friends from Miami Vice, we shall never have to answer that question, my good man - pip pip

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