Johnny was a G-man; some say he was gay.
Clyde Tolson dined alone with him every day.
Neither one was punished until Johnny died;
That's the legacy of Johnny and Clyde.

His days and his nights with Clyde Tolson he spent.
Four nieces, two nephews he left not a cent.
He left all to Clyde to his eternal shame;
For Hoover had no children to carry his name.

Some eight million files that he had stowed away
He kept to prepare against some rainy day;
Pages full of blackmail in case they got caught,
But J. Edna and Mother Tolson did not.

Their friends were Capote and old LBJ;
For files they sent Johnson, he helped them to stay.
From behind the throne, Johnny ruled 'til he died
Though nobody elected Johnny and Clyde.

Forty years' perversion was ended that day
When death carried John Edgar Hoover away.
Closets full of dresses he left when he died;
That's the legacy of Johnny and Clyde,
Johnny and Clyde,
Johnny and Clyde!