Took a stroke didn't wanna off the first tee.
Landed in the trap and lying three.
Gotta turn this score card in, I can't cheat.
Playin' this invite, I paid the fee.

I can't play like Arnie, he was somethin'.
Practiced my old wedge and pitched a few.
I keep an extra sand wedge in my baggie,
For the chippies that I see the golf pros do.

I'm playin' with old fogies makin' bogies.
An ace will keep his eye upon the ball.
We all crave that glory back at the clubhouse.
But it's frightnin' still when there's no skill at all.

Hope I shoot with skill and style, but I just play fair.
Need to miss the sand traps, hit the green.
My ball seems to need to use a compass.
Hit the skids get no respect on hole eighteen.

I'm playin' with old fogies makin' bogies.
An ace will keep his eye upon the ball.
We all crave that glory back at the clubhouse.
But it's frightnin' still when there's no skill at all.

I don't get the glory here at the clubhouse.
Got my stoogie and corona, I'm okay.