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Song Parodies -> "(We Should've) Held What We Got"

Original Song Title:

"(You Better) Hold What You Got"

Original Performer:

Joe Tex

Parody Song Title:

"(We Should've) Held What We Got"

Parody Written by:

Michael Pacholek

The Lyrics

This is what happens when right-wingers don't leave space for comments at the bottom of their parodies, thinking they can stifle dissent: We thinking liberals have to write entire parodies exposing you as the mind-numbed finks you are.
We should have just held on.
Held on to what we got.
We should have just held on.
Held on to what we got.
'Cause it seems
the party we brought in
just threw it away
and now we see
our "President" screwed up
and he can't count
one, two, three.
No, he can't.
No, he can't.

(in place of Joe Tex's spoken-word section)
Listen, fellas.
If it were not true
Linda would never be able to tell.
"No interstate abortion"?
It happened before, for those who had money,
and it will happen again.
"Hundreds of terrorists gone"?
Osama bin Laden, the one who actually did it, lives.
"Killed al-Zarqaui"?
Bush MADE Zarqawi!
"Downed Saddam baby"?
Saddam was never a threat to us,
and 2,500 have paid the price for Georgie's lie.
"Highest excess income"?
That's another way of saying
he widened the gap between rich and poor.
"Rebuilt our army"?
Only a damn fool would think our Army
is in better shape in August '06
than it was in January '01,
when we still had a smart (and elected) President.

Aaaaaaaand it seems
the party we brought in
just threw it away
and now we see
our "President" screwed up
and he can't count
one, two, three.
No, he can't.
No, he can't.

Listen, people.
"1k American pay raise"?
In other words, it HASN'T kept up with inflation,
so it's a pay CUT.
So much for
"The American people know how to spend THEIR MONEY
better than the federal government."
"*four whole more years*"?
How is THAT worth bragging about?
We're worse off now than we were
four, and especially six, years ago.
"Lowest unemployment"?
Not lower than under Clinton,
and wages have gone down, too.
"Thriving economy"?
Not for the bottom 98 percent.
"Tax refunds"?
An incredibly stupid thing to do
that left us only broken even
as far as jobs were concerned
at the end of his first illegitimate term.
"And the most homes bought per capita"?
More people in debt.

Aaaaaaaand it seems
the party we brought in
just threw it away
and now we see
our "President" screwed up
and he can't count
one, two, three.
No, he can't.
No, he can't!

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Original Song: 
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Voting Results

 
Pacing: 4.2
How Funny: 3.4
Overall Rating: 3.4

Total Votes: 5

Voting Breakdown

The following represent how many people voted for each category.

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User Comments

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alvin rhodes - August 03, 2006 - Report this comment
i like it
Kristof Robertson - August 03, 2006 - Report this comment
Well done, Mike! An intelligent rebuttal of an unintelligent parody (yes, I know the one you're referring to...). If Georgie boy had you as his speechwriter, he might be able to raise his percieved IQ from "Paris Hilton" to "Steve-O from Jackass"....bravo. 555 (Are you sure your surname's not Moore?)
Michael Pacholek - August 03, 2006 - Report this comment
Quite sure, although I wouldn't mind being related to Michael Moore, since I could probably borrow money from him. But, trust me, Paris Hilton is smarter than Steve-O, who is smarter than Dubya, who is smarter than Linda. I am, however, a little disappointed that this is the first-ever Joe Tex parody on the site. I figured somebody would've done something to "I Gotcha" by now.

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