It's such a struggle to move
Can't get this guy off my shoe
He weighs a hundred times three
Why must this happen to me?
He tells me that he'll let go
After I stop at his home
So in an hour or two
I'll get this guy off my shoe

Good thing this town is asleep
Or there'd be no way to keep
On pulling him slow and far
And not get hit by a car
And all this time he just whines
That his life hasn't been fine
I still do not have a clue
How come this guy's on my shoe

My legs are aching
I've got a hunch my back
Is slowly breaking
I'll have a heart attack
If I keep taking
Tubby home at this rate
I slowed the pace and
Now it is getting late
The time is 8:10
I can forget my date
So thanks to tubby, lazy,
She won't love me

She's gonna hate me
And since she'll feel ignored
She will not date me
I will be really bored
And quite frustrated
Just ‘cause he's on my shoes
I hope that maybe
She'll buy my real excuse
Although I pray I
Doubt it'll be of use

I hope you're happy
Making my whole life ruined
You make me crazy