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Song Parodies -> "Auspicious"

Original Song Title:

"Suspicious Minds"

Original Performer:

Elvis Presley

Parody Song Title:


Parody Written by:

Rick Duncan

The Lyrics

Need to explain. Here in California, a Modesto man named Scott Peterson is presently on trial for killing his very pregnant wife, whos' body was dumped in the ocean. The testimony today centered on conversations recorded by Amber Fry, a woman he was having an affair with when his wife disappeared. Much of the evidence is about Peterson being a very big liar, including stories he couldn't keep straight as to where he was at the time. His lawyer is Mark Geragos, the same publicity hound that was defending Michael Jackson. Normally I don't parody current events, but I couldn't get this out of my head today.
I'm locked in a cell
Hope to get out
Although I killed my wife and baby

I'll get away
Like the Juice in L.A.
But she went and taped things I did say

Now I'm a famous con in
These judicious times
But I might go Scott-free for
My auspicious crimes

So if the girl I wed
Winds up in the sea bed
They would still see suspicion in my lies

Here on Court T.V.
Making sport of me
Was I going to fish or golf?
I'm trying!

Now I'm a famous con in
These judicious times
But I might go Scott-free for
My auspicious crimes

Oh, in this lawyers' game
They'll defend me for the fame
There's no defense like dollar signs

When money it talk
I might just take a walk
$$$$$, yeah, yeah

I'm caught in a lie
To Amber Frey
Because I killed my wife and baby

I'm caught in a lie
I'm gonna fry
Because I killed my wife and baby

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Voting Results

Pacing: 5.0
How Funny: 5.0
Overall Rating: 5.0

Total Votes: 11

Voting Breakdown

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    Pacing How Funny Overall Rating
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 5   11

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Rick D - August 12, 2004 - Report this comment
Supposed to be "Auspicious Crimes" At my age, the brain skips.
John Barry - August 12, 2004 - Report this comment
You beat me to it with the title, Rick. I was just starting to work on "Auspicious Signs," an ironic ditty about the state of the world. When Scott gets off, he and the Juice are going to join forces to look for the murderers.
Claude Prez - August 12, 2004 - Report this comment
Scott-free; heh heh. I love it when scumbags are REALLY STUPID. Funny stuff.
Johnny D - August 12, 2004 - Report this comment
Well done, Rick.
alvin rhodes - August 12, 2004 - Report this comment
great parody...i think scott did it..but i think he just might wiggle off the hook
Adagio - August 12, 2004 - Report this comment
Good job, Rick. I just, by cooincidence, heard a story about Peterson. The people in the program were concerned about WHY men lie, completely overlooking the fact that Peterson DID lie...who cares why?
Rick D - August 12, 2004 - Report this comment
I have an aren't the only liars. (Besides, there are plenty of female lawyers)
Arwen - August 12, 2004 - Report this comment
Excellent job, Rick...5s...

I'm totally glued to the news on this addition to the pregnant wife murder that happened recently in Utah. It just makes me sick...
Guy - August 12, 2004 - Report this comment
I sure hope they change his name from Scott Peterson to Caught Peterson. I don't think the murder uno is going to stick. I believe he killed his wife in a rage of passion and then did his cover up. They seem to be thinking on Court TV that his motive was to kill his wife so he could marry Amber. What, you say? Nice theory but guys like him do not think that way. The panel that was discussing this was all female and I think they got hooked up in some romantic motive that is just not part of the thought processes of someone like Mr. Peterson. And Amber would truely love to "Fry" him for what he did to her.
Paul Robinson - August 12, 2004 - Report this comment
Nice job, Rick. It's hard to ever know what a jury will do, especially in a case like this. To me the only thing missing from 100% certainty of his guilt is a signed, autographed picture of old "Fertilzer-for-Brains" Peterson throwing the body overboard. Absolutely every other scrap and speck of evidence in this case screams "Guilty", and Geragos' "alternate scenario" of some sort of cult would be laughable if this were not about a cruel, callous, heinous and despicable act. You know, this reminds me - back in the early 90's my brother and I had a business in North Hollywood on Oxnard St., right across the street from us was an accountant's office, Melvin Green. One morning we hear sirens and see all sort of police heading over there to the parking area (which was behind the main building so it could not be seen from our office). We kept doing our stuff, but a bit later a police officer came to the door and asked if we had seen or heard anywhere about an hour before. We had extra-thick, sound-proof glass windows installed to block out street noise so we couldn't hear anything short of an explosion. We asked him what happened and he told us a woman had been shot and murdered in that parking lot. Well, long story shortening time...Melvin had hired some biker to do a hit on Mrs. Green. Melvin denies it to this day (from his life-sentence cell in one of the big prison's up North here in California), and the biker was never identified or located, but there was just this little TINY bit of "circumstantial evidence" stuff that Melvin didn't think thru very well. Seems Mr. & Mrs. Green were going thru an ugly divorce. Seems Mr. Green called Mrs. Green one evening and said he had some important papers see needed to sign and then she would "get her settlement". Seems he insisted that she come to his office at around 10:30 the next morning to read and sign them. Seems he had this odd habit bragging to various merchants in the neighborhood on numerous occasions about how he could have someone killed for less than $500. That he knew plenty of guys who would do a "hit" for that amount. Seems that Melvin made sure he wasn't at his office location the next morning and seems he made sure he was someplace else and seems he made sure the people there notice what time if was and the fact that, "I, Melvin Green, am here right now, which is 10:30 am on (fill-in date), and that means I cannot be at my office." I think he might have neglected to say "Where something bad is going to happen that I have a substantial motive for". And there probably were a lot more of those "seems" that I can't remember now. So perhaps the jury will find that the preponderance of evidence is enough to find "Fertilizer-Face" guilty and flush that stupid-sh*t -head down to the dankest, deepest depth of our nasty, miserable prison system. Here's hoping, anyway. (Guess I wouldn't be able to qualify for jury duty on this case.)

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