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Song Parodies -> "It's Sow Or Heifer (For Johnny D)"

Original Song Title:

"It's Now Or Never"

 (MP3)
Original Performer:

Elvis Presley

Parody Song Title:

"It's Sow Or Heifer (For Johnny D)"

Parody Written by:

Kristof Robertson

The Lyrics

I'll probably get ripped for this one...my (futile) attempt to shock Johnny...yeah, right! Inspired by a show on British TV last week about people who "really love" their animals....one guy (who was married to his pony) went on Springer but the show was never aired...
It's sow or heifer
I cannot choose
One lover snuffles
The other moos
Please stand still, and I'll be brief
I'm makin' bacon
Relief in beef!

When I first saw you
I began to shudder
My heart was captured
By your fine udder
You're wondrin' why I'm
Spending so much sty-time
Seems that I am
Gettin' some ham...at last!

It's sow or heifer
I cannot choose
One lover snuffles
The other moos
Please stand still, and I'll be brief
I'm slammin' gammon
Relief in beef!

You are damn pretty
Your hide is so silken
You've got real big eyes
Not just for milkin'!
But Babe excites me
Curly tail ignites me
Can't see no harm
Menage a' farm for three!

It's sow or heifer
I cannot choose
One lover snuffles
The other moos
Please stand still, and I'll be brief
I'm makin' bacon
Relief in beef!



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Matches Pace of
Original Song: 
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Voting Results

 
Pacing: 5.0
How Funny: 5.0
Overall Rating: 5.0

Total Votes: 4

Voting Breakdown

The following represent how many people voted for each category.

    Pacing How Funny Overall Rating
 1   0
 0
 0
 
 2   0
 0
 0
 
 3   0
 0
 0
 
 4   0
 0
 0
 
 5   4
 4
 4
 

User Comments

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Ravyn Rant - June 29, 2004 - Report this comment
God that's sick - good job!
Johnny D - June 29, 2004 - Report this comment
I'm shocked, SHOCKED to find out that Kristof Robertson holds to the Orwellian maxim of "Four legs gooooooood, two legs baaaaaaaad, four legs gooooooood, two legs baaaaaaaad!"
Arwen - June 29, 2004 - Report this comment
This is so gross...and yet so perfect...that I have no choice but to give it 5s...Dammit!
Old MacDonald - June 29, 2004 - Report this comment
You're such a ham -- you really milked this for all it was worth.
Ashkicksass - June 29, 2004 - Report this comment
"Menage a' farm for three!" SO GREAT!
Royce Miller - June 29, 2004 - Report this comment
how about a little of both
EmiLoca - June 29, 2004 - Report this comment
Holy buckets, Kristof. Funny as anything, but I'm never reading this again. 5-5-5. Ew.
John Barry - June 29, 2004 - Report this comment
How do you choose? Easy to choose the score: 5s.
John Jenkins - June 29, 2004 - Report this comment
Clever title and parody, Kristof. What are the odds of this parody coming out on the same day as Steve Kalafut's parody about a woman giving birth to a frog. And they are both (reportedly) true!
The Thought Police - June 29, 2004 - Report this comment
I prefer chicken....(5's)
Meriadoc - June 29, 2004 - Report this comment
Good one!
EmiLoca - June 29, 2004 - Report this comment
Had to visit again, because I just ate a bacon cheeseburger and it reminded me of your parody. Another helping of 5's for ya. And I promise I won't come back.
Stray Pooch - June 30, 2004 - Report this comment
Cripes, go with the cow - at least it's kosher! Besides, I'm into leather! :-D Now is it just me or are we having a run on barnyard fun lately? You peeps are startin' to scare me!!!
The Thought Police - June 30, 2004 - Report this comment
I prefer to hold the chicken between my knees---and squeeze....
mac - June 30, 2004 - Report this comment
"Curly tail ignites me"... LOL!
Kristof Robertson - June 30, 2004 - Report this comment
Cheers for the votes, everyone!! Been away, so this is late....Ravyn-thanks, I think!...Johnny- I win!! (I think)....Arwen- You always have a choice, but thanks anyway....Old Mac- heeheehee.....Ash- Cheers m'dear!....Royce- I'm not greedy!....Emi- I bet you will!....John B- It's (snigger) always hard to choose....John J- the world is truly a strange place...TPP- I actually prefer duck...Merry- Cheers!...Emi- I KNEW you would!!...Pooch-I'm feelin' a whole field'o' love at Amiright :-)....Mac- I'm glad you enjoyed it!....... Byeeeee!
Agrimorfee - June 30, 2004 - Report this comment
Hey kids, do you realize that this is a parody of a parody? "O Sole Mio" begat "It's Now Or Never" begat "Sow Or Heifer"! Anyway, this was funny...555.
Rod Worden - June 30, 2004 - Report this comment
"One lover snuffles, the other moos" LOL, Kristoff, 5s!
The Thought Police - July 01, 2004 - Report this comment
This brings a whole new meaning to the phrase'"Pork the other white meat!"
PMS - August 21, 2006 - Report this comment
Way too funny!!
Stan Hall - March 28, 2008 - Report this comment
Looked this up after your mention re my It's Cows for Trevor" spin on this OS ... very funny. 3 more 5s for moovin' your way. :-)

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