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Song Parodies -> "Apolo Ohno"

Original Song Title:

"It's Now Or Never"

Original Performer:

Elvis Presley

Parody Song Title:

"Apolo Ohno"

Parody Written by:

Fiddlegirl and Tommy Turtle

The Lyrics

Apolo Ohno
US' delight
Olympic darling
On ice tonight
Our sorrow would be so great
Without your medals
Your golden skates

When we first saw you
"Rookie" green and tender
Each race you captured
Each foe surrendered
Chance of a lifetime
The right guy at right time
Stardom was near
Your fate was clear
Die cast

Most medals ever
Held line so tight
Passes were startling
To finish, fight
Adore so, we consecrate
His name forever
Performance, great

Korean fellows
Salt Lake: cried an ocean
Cross-track DQ - lost
Top spot on pod'ium
Tested your mettle
Had a score to settle
Gauntlet thrown when
You met again

His tactics, clever
His instincts, bright
Koreans, gnarling
Itch for a fight
"Apollo", a god so great [1]
Endear, endeavor:
Above, to rate

That gold's so heavy
Top place, await!

[1] Apollo, not only an ancient Greek and Roman god, but also the ancient Greek name for the planet Mercury, which goes around the Sun faster than any other planet, sort of like a certain skater goes around the track .... you get the idea.;)
© 2010 Fiddlegirl and Tommy Turtle. All rights reserved. E-mail:

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Original Song: 
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Voting Results

Pacing: 5.0
How Funny: 5.0
Overall Rating: 5.0

Total Votes: 6

Voting Breakdown

The following represent how many people voted for each category.

    Pacing How Funny Overall Rating
 1   0
 2   0
 3   0
 4   0
 5   6

User Comments

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Mark Scotti - February 23, 2010 - Report this comment
Be rooting tonight to not skate at a "turtle's" pace. but the parody was great!
Old Man Ribber - February 23, 2010 - Report this comment
Apolo always makes his opponents yell Oh-no! He brings speed skating back to the Blair Necessities! ;D
Mercury_Cured_My_Syph--Quickly!! - February 23, 2010 - Report this comment
Appallo'd? Oh no! I'm aghast at the number of premium parodies you've medal'd, ascended to the podium, top-tiered and otherwise rapped n' wreathed--and now, the judges agree... well, once we throw out the high (the Jamacian judge, natch') and low (that Slovakian judge, let's face it, has Absolute™ly*no* sense of humor and has been seen consorting with Mr. Ones)--it's three 5's!

Now, with *so many* Golds, you two should seriously consider jumpstarting yer own Kardashianesque Kommunal--with your pick of the Jenner litter!
Christie Marie M - February 23, 2010 - Report this comment
Oh-no! Another awesome Ohno parody!! LOL!! This song has gone gold!! 555 gold medals for this one!! Great job, folks!
Phil Nelson - February 23, 2010 - Report this comment
I see there are some more Olympic parodies today besides mine. This was great too! 555 golds
Chance Gollnick - February 23, 2010 - Report this comment
skating fives right to ya.
Fiddlegirl - February 23, 2010 - Report this comment
Mark Scotti: Hehe... *all* eyes will be on Apolo-- and young J.R.!

OMR: If they gave gold medals for puns, you'd have my top rating! :)

Mercury: Make no mythtake, love your comments!

CMM: Thanks! More on the way, we hope-- at least one, anyway. :)

Phil: The Olympics provide excellent inspiration, don't they? :)

Chance: Thanks! (And what form, what technique...!) ;)
Tommy Turtle - February 24, 2010 - Report this comment
Mark Scotti: Hey! I can go pretty fast at times! ;) ...(thanks, Mark!)

Old Man Ribber: (FG: This *is* the Olympics of punnery, isn't it? ;) 555 for the puns, and thanks for the vote!

Mercury_Cured_My_Syph--Quickly!!: ... and obviously made you Mad as a Hatter, judging by the comment ;-) (Mercury is highly toxic; used to be used to make hat brims moldable; hatters had brain damage. -- TMI, I *know* ;) ... best of all was Absulut™, but thanks for all puns, totally obscure references, and vote!

Christie Marie M: (stands for National Anthem) Thank you!

Phil Nelson: ... and that surprises you? ;) Thanks for the medals. (psst -- more tomorrow, which is today).

Chance Gollnick: FG left out "degree of difficulty" in skating a 5-5-5 to us, when that snot Plushenko thinks he's such hot stuff for doing a 4-3-3. But we'll have something to say about that, have no fear... thanks for v/c/m (medals)!
Cured @ TT - February 24, 2010 - Report this comment
Mad I may be, nay, AM... but mercury was apparently used to treat syphillis as early as 1025... whether it worked or not I don't know (spontaneous remissions confounding)... cRaZy, eH?
TT @ Cured - February 24, 2010 - Report this comment
Followed by arsenic -- I think Christopher Columbus, who is said to have brought syph to the New World, for which the natives can never thank him enough, was treated with arsenic. I guess *any* poison will kill spiroagnewchetes; you just have to hope that they don't kill the patient in the process. (Basic principle of chemo"therapy", no?)

In days of old
When knights were bold
And condoms weren't invented
They tied a sock
Around their c***
And babies were prevented

but not STDs, apparently. ;-( :-)
Bilbopooh - June 30, 2010 - Report this comment
Always got a kick out of watching Apolo zoom around on the ice. Great tribute! 555
Tommy Turtle - July 02, 2010 - Report this comment
Bilbopooh, thanks, and nice to make your acquaintance! (Fiddlegirl, being a public school teacher, is on vacation, probably in Bora Bora, or as far away from US schoolchildren as possible.)

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