Song Parodies -> I Shower Never

Original Song Title:	"It's Now or Never"
Original Performer:	Elvis Presley

Parody Song Title:	"I Shower Never"
Parody Written by:	MasonR

Why does this person never shower? See Alvin Rhodes' "Shower Viewed Through Peephole" parody yesterday! (Actually, I started writing this several weeks ago...)

I shower never
I'm getting ripe
My body's odor
Could flames ignite
You smell me in fifty states
I shower never
My stink is great

When you are near me
How your eyes do water
Your nose does fear me
Your senses slaughtered
I'd send a lifeline
But I smell like old brine
Don't get too near
Because I fear you'll faint

I shower never
Malod'rous blight
Don't breathe nasally
You'll die tonight
I work out and perspirate
And chew on garlic
You can't escape

My stench makes landfill
Seem like spring and roses
Breathe deep for a thrill
My skin decomposes
But soap offends me
And bathwater scares me
Befouling scent
You'll need a vent, my dear.

I shower never
Fetid am I
It's so bad that I
Can't attract flies
You smell me in fifty states
I shower never
I marinate!

Parody Copyright Mason "Toxic Avenger" Resnick

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Stan Hall - March 04, 2008 - Report this comment

So, what you're saying is that nearness to you is not Nirvana, that your smell's obscene, fear it? :-)

Guy - March 04, 2008 - Report this comment

Stan - This really, really stinks. Actually there is a lot of cleverness written into this. The best I've seen and glad I can't smell from you yet. Varying your choruses is a BIG plus here. Well done. Now here is $5.55. Take it and buy some soap and cologne you smelly slob. =;-)

Michael Pacholek - March 04, 2008 - Report this comment

Restoring odor to the universe, are you?

alvin - March 04, 2008 - Report this comment

that was just lovely....lol....stinky ol' 5s for you

littleCupCakes - March 04, 2008 - Report this comment

555 for "you smell me in 50 states"

MasonR - March 04, 2008 - Report this comment

Thanks Stan, Guy, Michael (feel the force!), alvin, and littleCupCakes (I'm kinda pleased with the "50 states" line myself...)!

Peregrin - March 04, 2008 - Report this comment

Mason, I've only seen clean parodies from you before! I also had a good laugh at the 50 states.

Robert J. Pagliaro - March 04, 2008 - Report this comment

Dude - to quote Johnny D - "this was very good". I had to read it after seeing the comments of Guy, Pacholek and Cupcake. Did you know that Guy voted for Hillary?

MrMacphisto - March 04, 2008 - Report this comment

The best of today... 5-5-5

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Song Parodies -> I Shower Never

"It's Now or Never"

Elvis Presley

"I Shower Never"

MasonR

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