I'm in a U.S. Jail 'cause I did kill
In a Mississippi town nearby Pleasant Hill
The situation just happened to my daughter and I
When the teenager Billy was caught making her cry
Now you don't sample my kid, boy
She wasn't for sale
So I just found myself the U.S. Jail
That's J-A-I-L, son. Doin' Time!

Now I can't shower or take a p!$$
Without a big sweaty Bubba callin' me "Miss"
For the last three weeks they've been hot for my tail
Gonna bend me over this U.S. Jail
They touch me once with their greasy hands
They're gonna find themselves missing their prostate glands
I murdered a kid, and a cop on my trail
And that makes me the property of this U.S. Jail

I'm sorry I'm locked in the U.S. Jail my friend
The U.S. Jail is dark, it's gonna be my end
You know what's good for yourself Hal
You better calm down get a grip pal
Don't find yourself the property of the U.S. Jail

(What's that? Take it like a man)

With Big Ben and Lil' Pete and Bald Skeet and Old Joe
The U.S. Jail is on it's toes
Quit watchin' my backside, that's my advice
Leave me alone you fool, I'm to pay my price
Don't think I won't add to my time
Keep grabbin' on my head, I say what's one more crime
I'll flatten you out, and you will wail
So quit playin' games inside this U.S. Jail

I'm sorry I'm locked in the U.S. Jail my son
I'm 73005-7421
You know what's good for yourself son
Be better than me, a good person
Don't make yourself the property of the U.S. Jail

Shiv it to me one time.

All right...now I'm gonna tell it like it is man
I catch you messin' 'round with that cellmate of mine
I'm gonna lay one on ya. Stop messin' in the U.S. Jail