-> "Mix Dusty Springfield; Hamlet, Too"
Original Song Title:
"I Only Want To Be With You" (MP3)
Parody Song Title:
"Mix Dusty Springfield; Hamlet, Too"
To be, or not to be; that is the question here
To kill myself right now, or face the facts I fear
'Cause out-rageous fortune has come to me
Could end it all with just a stroke of knife, or three
Poor Hamlet: feeling blue
And Dusty ain't too happy, too 
Don't think of "death", but rather, sleeping evermore
To end unending heartaches, just relax and snore
My poor flesh is heir to ... a thousand shocks
To consummate their end: idea that really rocks!
I'm crazy, but sane, too 
They'll not guess what I want to do!
To sleep, perchance to dream
Sounds good, but you take a chance
Shuffle off of this mortal coil 
You might with the Devil, dance
That isn't funny!
Think about it; hesitate, perhaps, a hair
And put up with this life that often seems unfair:
"Big Broth-er" in Gummint; folks' sneering looks;
No "change" from Pres-i-dent; all politicians: crooks; 
Your lover's leaving you;
A world of folks without a clue!
Oh, oh, you take an "ohverdose"
Say "Good-bye" from comfy bed
No more sweating this weary world
But who knows what lies ahead? 
Might not be sunny!
Heaven: is it heavenly? How hot is Hell?
So many peeps have passed away, but none will tell
If I shtupped Ophelia, oh, feel such bliss
Could bear a lot of fardels for a frick' n' kiss 
To end life scares me so
I'll take the "blows" and stay, not go!
Just one look at her; no matter: all my sins
I think here's where the fun begins! 
 Mary Isabel Catherine Bernadette O'Brien (a/k/a Dusty Springfield, because the real name wouldn't fit on a 45-rpm record label ;) had difficulty all her life in reconciling her strict Roman Catholic faith with her lesbianism ("Out: she, or not out: she; 'haps feared rejection"), which may have played a part in her alcoholism, drug dependency, diagnosis of manic-depression, and being hospitalized several times for deliberately cutting herself. So, the mashup of the suicidal Hamlet and the self-destructive Springfield isn't as far-fetched as it seems. (At least, not to TT. YMMV.)
The fact that Hamlet's emotional problems still resonate with us 400 years later is why it's called a "classic".
 In the play, Hamlet fakes insanity to cover up his real mood and intentions.
 "coil" (from TOS - original soliloquy, not original song) = "sphere", i. e., planet
 Some people "believed" in it, but IOHO, Obama vs. Bush is just the same horse, different color.... oops, "horse of a different color" is a *very* old expression (probably dating back to cowboy days), but could be "misinterpreted" here. So strike that in favor of "Same useless, bumbling fool, but merely in different ways".
 I. e., after death
 "fardels" (from the play) = the burdens of life of which Prince Hamlet complained, both in his verse and ours. :)
 IOHO, if Hamlet were in fact shtupping Ophelia (he'd like to have, but didn't), he'd have spent a lot less time worrying about whom his mother was shtupping -- namely, his uncle. Not his mother's own brother -- *that* would be sick -- but rather, her brother-in-law, the brother of Prince Hamlet's late father, the King, who was assassinated by his own brother/Hamlet's uncle, so that said brother could take the Throne -- and also take Hamlet's mother. Which, of course, is not sick at all. :-(
(Not a spoiler; we're told that almost right from the git-go.)
*Now* doncha' wanna go read the play? :-)
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