Not about to grin, I tore off some skin from my fly (My fly)
Way too hard I yanked, now I've mangled my crank in my fly (My fly)
I'm sticking from my fly like wounded chicken
The teeth are a-stickin', the blood is tricklin'
I'm yellin' out "Yow, Oh Fudge"
My weener's really stuck in my fly

Nothing I can zip will free me from the grip of my fly (My fly)
Nothing that I shred will shake this awful dread from my fly (My fly)
I gave my fly a push and pullin'
And a shakin' and I'm moanin'
And plenty swearin'
I won't be wearin' my fly

With a bladder like a peanut, I often pee
But I've never zipped it injuriously
As a bladder of waste, it's been okay
Now I'm en route to a hospital stay

No muscle bound man this pain could stand from my fly (My fly)
No happy place will this torture erase from my fly (My fly)
I know I'm gonna have a scar
If they cut it off I'll have to buy, sports car
There's not a King or Knight
Who won't shiver with fright from my fly (My fly)

(sound of ambulance fade.)