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Song Parodies -> "God's Only Foes"

Original Song Title:

"God Only Knows"

 (MP3)
Original Performer:

Beach Boys

Parody Song Title:

"God's Only Foes"

Parody Written by:

Rick Duncan

The Lyrics

I want to get a bumper sticker that says "Pray to end religious fanatacism".
He may have said, "Do not kill"
But there are some who can and will
He said, "Faith, go and teach it"
He did not mean loudly screech it

God's only woes are hard core fanatics

If we should ever have peace
All the extremists must cease
The world needs to live and let live
Some don't need Jesus to forgive

God's only woes are hard core fanatics
God's only woes are hard core fanatics

He said "Your sins, confess, live"
He did not mean be so obsessive
You're free to be agnostic
So why are some faithful caustic?

God's only woes are hard core fanatics
God's only woes are hard core fanatics
God's only foes
God's only woes are hard core fanatics
God's only woes are hard core fanatics
God's only foes
God's only woes are hard core fanatics
God's only woes are hard core fanatics
God's only foes...

Remember folks, this is America!

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Total Votes: 4

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Johnny D - June 11, 2004 - Report this comment
555, very well said, God bless you, Highlander. My sentiments exactly. Long ago I gave up trying to discuss spiritual or religious matters with fundamentalists or Bible-idolators.....they never discuss, they only evangelize and try to get others to quasi-think the way THEY quasi-think, so it is pointless to exchange views with them beyond listening politely to what they have to say.....and what they say boils down to this: God judges people based on their opinions, not on their actions.....so according to their quasi-thinking, all someone needs to do is have the right opinion, and then they're all right with God and can go commit any atrocity they like, because all that matters is that they have the opinion that God wants them to have. Pathetic and socially dangerous, but very human and understandable in the face of the immensity of reality.
Melhi - June 11, 2004 - Report this comment
Very well done.
Leo Jay - June 11, 2004 - Report this comment
Good one. Well done.
Rod Worden - June 11, 2004 - Report this comment
Amen, brother!!!!!
Kristof Robertson - June 11, 2004 - Report this comment
Well said, Brother Rick. I see the "hard-core" haven't read this one yet, as there are no ones in your box. I admire your bravery...555
Your Worst Nightmare - June 11, 2004 - Report this comment
Is it just me, or are you mixing in the Christians with the terrorists?
Ashkicksass - June 11, 2004 - Report this comment
Loved it. So great, and so true. 5 Hail Marys.
debbie - June 11, 2004 - Report this comment
i think he thinks that christians who believe non-christians are damned by a wrathful angry god are revealing their subconscious smug sense of spiritual superiority and are fanatics who secretly relish the thought of their enemies burning in hell and sometimes become terrorists to burn them on earth, all the while feeling smug and superior and arrogant about how much fun they will have in heaven while the non-christians are being punished by their wrathful angry god
Paul Robinson - June 11, 2004 - Report this comment
Rick D - Excellent and thought-provoking. I just heard a song called "Seaside" the other day about the December 5th terrorist bombing of an a resort restaurant in Israel. I remember reading about that horrible incident. It was a lively place, owned by a couple of Arabs, where Israeli Jews and Arabs got along well; many were killed and badly injured - customers, waiters, I believe it said one of the owners, and yes, children, too. Lines from the song: "The girls were dancing, she was coming of age. Shells fired out / flowers mowed down / innocence targeted / Whose God is this?" Found myself snifflling with eyes drippling wet...
alvin rhodes - June 11, 2004 - Report this comment
nice job...you can catch more flies with honey then with fire and brimstone
Whoh, Nelly! - June 11, 2004 - Report this comment
Yikes, Johnny D! Let's not paint all "politically conservative American Christians" with the same brush! Those kind of easy generalizations too often lead to the kind of intolerance this parody is lamenting...
Johnny D - June 11, 2004 - Report this comment
You're correct, Whoh Nelly (do I know you, brother?) .... I confess that I went overboard here and that I did indeed over-generalize. Not all politically conservative American Christians suffer from the delusions spelled-out in http://www.octanecreative.com/american_prayer/ ....... it's only fair to say that many politically LIBERAL American Christians also suffer from those delusions!

My rant was my own knee-jerk reaction to years of putting-up-with obnoxious proselytizing and holier-than-thou bullsh*t from SOME but not all politically conservative American Christians. I apologize to whoever I offended and ask for your forgiveness. Peace, Johnny D :-)
Adagio - June 11, 2004 - Report this comment
Whoh, Nelly..you took the words right out of my mouth. I had read the first site posted by JD and was thinking, "now that just doesn't apply to everyone". And, when I first read the comments, I felt out-numbered...this looks like a liberal haven. Don't be so quick to point fingers, you all...everyone is different! I vote for the man....NOT the party...so who is close-minded, now? The ones who vote liberal no matter who is running are close-minded..ever hear of doing your political homework? I have liked Democrats and Republicans, depending on their views. While I am posting, please have a little respect fot a President who is just now in the process of being buried...he was a human being, for Pete's sake.
Adagio - June 11, 2004 - Report this comment
........and furthermore, claiming that your views are solid by claiming God said so doesn't make it so. I really think God is only concerned with PEOPLE...not politics or countries, etc.
John Barry - June 11, 2004 - Report this comment
Most hard-core fundamentalist Christians are terrorists, YWN.
Johnny D - June 11, 2004 - Report this comment
Well said, Adagio, well said. And yes, a liberal can be just as closed-minded and party-chauvinistic as a conservative or a libertarian or a communist.

Adagio, I think you know me well enough to know that I am sincere in my apology here - I flew off the handle, letting my emotions get the better of me, but I have both the guts and the humility to admit it, to take responsibility for it, and to sincerely apologize for it. :-)

And I, too, have voted for both Republican and Democratic candidates in the past - like you, Adagio, I vote for the person, not the party.
Whoh Nelly - June 11, 2004 - Report this comment
Johnny D, thanks for a thoughtful reassessment. And lets not forget that there are people from all religious traditions, as well as agnostics and atheists, who happen to be self-aggrandizing wackos. It's distressing to always hear religion getting beat up just because wackos often choose to claim it as their motivation. Let's not forget that lots of evil is and has been done in the name of love and democracy and other worthwhile ideas too -- it doesn't mean that the idea or philosophy is itself evil! Peace, all.
Adagio - June 11, 2004 - Report this comment
I realized that, Johnny, when I read your apology...that you were really sincere. (Actually, I thought that no one had noticed my little rant). I had to take a break, get some coffee to cool down. :D
Whoh Nelly - June 11, 2004 - Report this comment
Just to clarify -- only my very FIRST sentence was directed at you specifically, Johnny D! The rest was a general observation, borne of my own personal frustrations! My, how discussing religion can set off the hot buttons, eh?!?!?! Peace!
Johnny D - June 11, 2004 - Report this comment
Thank you Whoh Nelly, and thank you Adagio. By speaking truth to each other here, and by listening to each other here, the three of us have achieved and demonstrated the kind of peace and understanding that so many of the world's religions preach - and that's a very good thing! :-D !!!
Mari D - June 11, 2004 - Report this comment
It's nice to see that religious and non-religious people can have an intelligent discussion without a lot of name calling and defensive accusations on both sides of the issue! I think that when anything becomes extreme and obsessive, no matter what it is, it can be dangerous. It reminds me of my ex-partner after he became one of those types that Rick describes in his parody (that's why I dumped him!). He came home one day from the library, bragging about how he removed cards having to do with gay relationships from the card catalogue and I said "Hey, I don't remove the cards for the Rush Limbaugh books!" On the other hand, one of my best friends at work is a devout Christian and knows that I'm not, but she listens...
Your Worst Nightmare - June 11, 2004 - Report this comment
You people have Christianity all wrong. Why do you think Christians like the idea of non-Christians burning in hell? Any thought as to why we like to preach so much? I assure everyone, if a terrorist claims to be Christian, which hasn't happened yet, he ISN'T. Jesus may have not said, "Thou shalt not hijack skycrapers", but it was implied. ;-)
debbie - June 11, 2004 - Report this comment
wow look at all this! according to fundamentalist christianity, a person can accept jesus and become permanently and irrevocably saved......and then later in their life, if that same person, hypothetically, chooses to fly a plane into a skyscraper as a terrorist, they are still guaranteed of going to heaven when they die, even though their terrorist act might kill lots of people who might have been on the verge of accepting jesus but hadn't done so yet. the typical fundamentalist response to that scenario is if a person commits such a terrorist act, that proves they weren't really sincere about accepting jesus, so they really weren't saved in the first place. but if that's the case, then how can any person who calls themselves christian ever be 100% certain that their sincerity was sincere enough when they sincerely accepted jesus....all they can do is believe to themselves that they were sincere enough....but they have to admit that they might be wrong because they are fallible human beings who are capable of making mistakes...and if they believe the holy spirit caused them to be sincere enough, they have to admit that they might be wrong about that belief too, since it is only a belief and not an objective fact verifiable by skeptics....all they can do is keep telling others and themselves that they know it is true that they were sincere enough, and continuously fight to stay smug, complacent, and free of uncertainty and doubt regarding the status of their salvation....so to drown out their inner voices of doubt, they evangelize...
Stray Pooch - June 11, 2004 - Report this comment
Johnny, I am so glad you retracted that broadbrush. I was deeply disappointed to read such a statement from a man who is so intelligent, not to mention so damned personable. I, too, am an American Conservative Christian and I do not fit that description. You (and Rick, for whom you deflected a lot of flak - lol!) make a perfectly valid point concerning some Christians who feel the need to save your soul by telling you how badly it will burn if you don't change. The bumper sticker I dreamed up a few years ago has actually shown up. "God please protect me from your followers." IMO the greatest tactic Satan ever devised was creating the myth of a wrathful, hateful God. But the affliction of fanaticism is not a Christian anomaly. It is a personality trait that is found in people of all religions and ideologies. Indeed, I know some absolute fanatical atheists. HEY RICK: Nice parody, man. Tryin' to start a war here or something? lol!
Rick D - June 12, 2004 - Report this comment
I agree with you, Stray. Extremism anywhere is bad, but somehow if it's for whatever deity one worships, that makes it justifiable to some. I love anyone that leads a decent honest life, and if it takes God for them to do it, I'm all for it. Just don't presume it's the only way for people to live a decent honest life, and then use any excuse to tell them that. There are many paths, and I'm not starting a war, I'm just trying to pry open minds where I see a little tunnelvision. That, to me, is what this whole site is about.
Stray Pooch - June 12, 2004 - Report this comment
Well, yeah, Rick, but you only say that cuz you're a hell-bound atheist!! :D Seriously, as to what this sight is about, I think a lot of times people tend to forget that parody is about humor and satirical vision. Parodists are like the jesters of old, we can say what everyone else is thinking without losing our heads (literally). That's why I try to keep it civil and fun here. I get crazy elsewhere - lol!
Johnny D - June 12, 2004 - Report this comment
Stray Pooch, after more reflection - and after sleeping on it, too - I must admit that I feel deeply ashamed now about how I temporarily lost control of my emotions here and, as you said - painted all conservative American Christians with a brush that so, so many of them do NOT deserve to be painted with. Thank you for accepting my apology, it's from the heart and full of remorse. Ya know, believe it or not, I myself am a Christian (yes, that's right folks, ol' Johnny D has, for many, many years, considered JC to be his personal Lord and Savior!), but until this sentence, I never felt it relevant to mention that fact to anybody on Amiright. I just do not believe a lot of other things that many of my fellow Christians (both liberal and conservative!!) believe - my Christianity is profoundly intimate and personal between me and God, and the details of it are nobody else's business. OK, that takes care of religion! Now, for politics......guess what? I've voted conservatively at times, too! Yes! Once upon a time, I tried to elect a Republican Governor in The People's Republic of Taxachusetts!! And although I do not own a firearm....believe it or not.....I side with the NRA on the gun control issue - if I need one, I want to have the right to buy, own, and carry one. We could go through various other issues one by one, and you'd see that Johnny D is not a broad-brush liberal or conservative....perhaps I'm a bit of a Libertarian....labels get to be ridiculous after a while, don't they?

In any event, again, I offer my heartfelt apologies for my irrational, emotional, broad-brush rudeness to my wonderful, good, conservative American Christian friends .... I hope we can be Christian-like with each other and exchange apologies and forgiveness with a smile and a forgive-and-forget.... Peace .... Stray Pooch, I should take a wise page from your own book: keep it fun and civil here, and go crazy elsewhere....99.999999% of the time Johnny D does just that.....but Johnny D's just a fallible human being with emotions and "buttons" like everyone else.....and I apologize for letting the pushing of my buttons get the better of me here. Thanks everyone. Johnny D
Rick D - June 12, 2004 - Report this comment
There, see? That there Johnny D is MY kind of Christian. And Stray, I am not an athiest. I view that as being just as extreme as the noisy Bible thumpers. I am smart enough to know what I don't know.
Michael Pacholek - June 12, 2004 - Report this comment
You CAN get a witness, brother! Hallelujah!
Your Worst Nightmare - June 12, 2004 - Report this comment
This is a surprising revelation I have just witnessed. Johnny D is a conservative Christian. Who woulda thunk? :-D Rick, if you aren't atheist or Christian, what beliefs do you hold?
Johnny D - June 12, 2004 - Report this comment
YWN, please read my comment again. I said that I am a Christian. I did NOT say that I am a "conservative Christian". I only said that in addition to my just happening to be of the Christian persuasion, I have also voted, on occasion, Republican, and I am perfectly willing to consider doing so again, if the right person and/or issue presents itself. That is all. :-) (BTW, the roots of my personal and very private Christianity come from my Roman Catholic upbringing....years and years of regular Mass attendance, Sacraments, CCD, and Scripture reading).
Johnny D - June 12, 2004 - Report this comment
I'm trying to cut back on my Amiright self-promotion....but I think it's appropriate here to mention my parody of The Beatle's tune "Eleanor Rigby" called "Mother Teresa" ... it expresses my love and respect for three people I deeply admire and find spiritually inspiring: Mother Teresa, Jesus (The Christ), and Gautama (The Buddha):

http://www.amiright.com/parody/60s/thebeatles480.shtml
Paul Robinson - June 12, 2004 - Report this comment
Hey, YWN - do you know you have this habit of twisting around what people say? You do it ALL the time and it's real annoying. And then you accuse OTHERS of doing it to you. And then you the temerity to ask someone to disclose their religious beliefs to you. You've got to kidding, right? Who in their right mind would want to place those beliefs in a position where you can sit back there and play your little game with them? And maybe this isn't nice, but is THAT very Christian? Ever do any self-assessment in that area? You might profit from a bit of it.
Adagio - June 12, 2004 - Report this comment
Don't be so hard on yourself, Johnny. Plenty of others get carried away and let their buttons be pushed. You're just not used to erupting in righteous anger here...rightfully so, because it might take away from your 'tee-hee' parodies if you were concerned about the next argument to get into.
Your Worst Nightmare - June 12, 2004 - Report this comment
Hey Paul, back off, he said that he voted republican several times, and so I just said he was a conservative Christian. Actually, the two words kinda go together, and I don't think I've heard of a liberal Christian honestly. I don't think I was "twisting" what he said.
Your Worst Nightmare - June 12, 2004 - Report this comment
Johnny D, sorry for calling you a conservative Christian. When you said you were Christian and had voted republican, it seemed reasonable to assume that. It was just Paul's comment later than got me mad, like I was some kind of evil person that likes to twist things around for fun.
Rick D - June 12, 2004 - Report this comment
Thank you, Paul. I wasn't going to discuss it for exactly the reason you described.
Johnny D - June 12, 2004 - Report this comment
Thanks, Adagio, I appreciate that - and I'm confident that after blowing off my steam in this little melodrama here, I will be cooler and jollier than ever!

YWN, it is perfectly understandable that you would conclude I was conservative based on the bits and pieces of commentary here - I take no offense whatsoever. And I am indeed a very liberal Christian, so now you can honestly say you've heard of one. And I appreciate the courtesy you have shown me by not asking about any of the details of my personal Christian faith. Those details are for me and God to know, and for nobody else, so it is very gracious of you not to inquire. Thank you.
Your Worst Nightmare - June 12, 2004 - Report this comment
Ok, thanks for understanding! :-)
John Jenkins - June 13, 2004 - Report this comment
Rick, you have done an excellent job of satirizing people who deserve to be satirized. I am certainly aware that there are many fanatics whose efforts to convert non-believers are more of a turn-off than turn-on. But, from my perspective as a Christian, most Christians do not do enough to share their faith. Even though we are called to make disciples of all nations, most of us look at good people like Rick Duncan and Phil Alexander (and on and on) and consider it somewhat arrogant to preach to them and end up not doing anything (except maybe praying).

YWN and Johnny D, there are many liberal Christians. The National Council of Churches represents 36 denominations and almost 50 million members in the United States, and the NCC typically condones abortion, massive government regulation, and homosexuality.
Paul Robinson - June 13, 2004 - Report this comment
Rick - You're very welcome. I was reading the thread and that particular little section in there with young Mr. "Y" really hit a nerve. He DOES do it all the time. And when you're the one he does it to you feel like you are stuck either letting the statement stand or having to rebut his presumption. I'm beginning to find having to make a choice between those two reactions rather tiresome. Like Popeye, I mean what I 'sez', no more and no less. If I'm telling you what I think I'm usually pretty precise in the way I express it - sometimes I get concerned about being TOO precise and leaning over into verbose overkill, but I would rather explain too thoroughly than not thoroughly enough. Like here, for instance...
David Jensen - June 13, 2004 - Report this comment
The NCC is just a way to make it easier for the one world church to be set up. Not everyone who claims to be christian is so. Matthew 7:21-23.
Phil Alexander - September 28, 2004 - Report this comment
Must have missed this first time around - great stuff, Rick.
Aaerni - February 13, 2005 - Report this comment
I'm not a Christian or a Conservative/Republican, but I'm willing to allow other people to be Christians, Conservatives, and/or Republicans, because I believe that each person is free to have whatever religious or political views he/she wants. Good job on this parody.
??? - November 21, 2007 - Report this comment
Rick might go to hell for that

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