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Song Parodies -> "Shock Troops (Bigger The Pressure)"

Original Song Title:

"Big Hoops (Bigger the Better)"

Original Performer:

Nelly Furtado

Parody Song Title:

"Shock Troops (Bigger The Pressure)"

Parody Written by:

the_conqueror_of_parodies

The Lyrics

Part of my Pop Danthology 2012 self-challenge. The lord of all the land, the king of all his domain...reacts badly to intorweb jagoffs. Really badly.
You're 100% right, Chris
Mwahahahaha (time to crush the plebs)
Time to crush the plebs

The bigger the pressure, the bigger the pressure, the bigger the pressure, the pressure gets bigger
The bigger the pressure, the bigger the pressure, the bigger the pressure, the pressure gets bigger
The bigger the pressure, the bigger the pressure, the bigger the pressure, the pressure gets bigger
The bigger the pressure, the bigger the pressure, the bigger the pressure, the pressure gets bigge-er

Th-Th-Th-Th-Th-Th-Th-Th-They mocked my coo-ool van, so you kno-ow it's o-on
They're goi-in' down, I'll send my sho-ock troop squad
Regret the-ey laughed at the chick poo-oorly dra-awn
Across the-e rear of my old Scion
They say I'm overeactin'? No
Seems fair to me and cause I-I
Rule this whole damn country with clout what I-I say must then go, alright?
Yeah, I've not passed legislation
Since you first crowned me, but why-y
Should I do that borin' bullshit when there are these assho-o-oles online?

They may all lau-augh at their dumb jo-okes
But they'll stop soon enough when I say so
It's hard to lau-augh at one's dumb jo-okes
When you've got a giant gun down your throat
My advisors say "He-e-e-ey
You can't send troops to trolls ni-ight and day"
But I simply say "He-e-e-ey
I'm King, I'll do what I li-ike, okay?"
They say I look like a giant old twat, old twat, old twat, old twat (oh-oh-oh-oh, oh-oh-oh-oh)
They'll face a ton of my goons with their gats, their gats, their gats, their gats (oh-oh-oh-oh, oh-oh-oh-oh)
I'll bet they never quite expected that, that, that

This crap's easily avoided
But I can't do tha-at, no wa-ay
Though I know that I come off as crazy
That's a bore, that's a bore, th-that's, that's, that's a bore
They called me dumb, dumb and I'm just not havin' that
Dared to hurt my feels and I plain refuse to take it, take it
I know I oughta just quit, get off Twitter, bu-ut no
Said my fave film picks simply blo-ow

F-F-F-F-F-F-F-F-F-For now, they'll lau-augh at their dumb jo-okes
Until my boys come in when I say so
Tricky to lau-augh at one's dumb jo-okes
When you've got a flashbang right at your toes
My advisors say "He-e-e-ey
Can't just send troops to trolls ni-ight and day"
But I simply say "He-e-e-ey
Your king will do what he li-ikes, okay?"
They say I look like some hairy old bat, old bat, old bat, old bat (oh-oh-oh-oh, oh-oh-oh-oh)
But soon all of their clean pants will be shat, be shat, be shat, be shat (oh-oh-oh-oh, oh-oh-oh-oh)
Audacity to claim that I can't rap, can't rap, can't rap, can't rap (oh, oh-oh-oh-oh, oh-oh-oh, oh-oh-oh, oh-oh-oh-oh-oh-oh, oh-oh-oh, oh-oh-oh-oh)
But soon they'll no longer have their kneecaps, kneecaps, kneecaps, kneecaps (oh, oh-oh-oh-oh, oh-oh-oh, oh-oh-oh, oh-oh-oh-oh-oh-oh, oh-oh-oh)
I don't think they would've expected that (ohohohohohohohoh)

The bigger the pressure, the bigger the pressure, the bigger the pressure, the pressure gets bigger
The bigger the pressure, the bigger the pressure, the bigger the pressure, the pressure gets bigger
The bigger the pressure, the bigger the pressure, the bigger the pressure, the pressure gets bigger
The bigger the pressure, the bigger the pressure, the bigger the pressure, the pressure gets bigge-er

Maybe that'll stop their trollin'
Hahaha, wait, it ain't over yet?

S'pposed to stop, ma-an
Th-Th-Th-Th-Th-Th-Th-Th-Th-Th-Th-They still atta-ack (yeah, yeah, yeah)
C-C-C-C-C-C-C-C-C-C-C-Callin' me fa-at
The bigger the pressure, the bigger the pressure, the bigger the pressure, the pressure gets bigger
Th-Th-Th-Th-Th-Th-Th-Th-Th-Th-Th-That was the pla-an
The bigger the pressure, the bigger the pressure, the bigger the pressure, the pressure gets bigge-er
M-M-M-M-M-M-Makin' me sa-ad
The bigger the pressure, the bigger the pressure, the bigger the pressure, the pressure gets bigge-er

The original song's a bit of a shift from "I'm Like a Bird", ain't it?

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