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Song Parodies -> "Now I Will Lasso You"

Original Song Title:

"Like I'm Gonna Lose You"

Original Performer:

Meghan Trainor ft. John Legend

Parody Song Title:

"Now I Will Lasso You"

Parody Written by:

the_conqueror_of_parodies

The Lyrics

Part of my "50 Shades of Pop" self-challenge. Well, I've done parodies about Superman and Batman, it's about time I do a parody about the third member of DC's Trinity: Wonder Woman! Let's see how she handles a random thug...
"Origins confusi-in'
Made out of clay o-o-o-or
The real daughter of Zeus?" Please
That's what's on your fronta-a-al lobes?
You just failed in your bank hei-eist
Cause I punched you so-o-o-o
Surprised I can still hear you clear
With that busted jaw and no-o-o-ose
Not showin' fear
You should be 'cause I
Break walls with ease
Brick, steel, ev'ry ki-i-i-ind
Think your eyes are driftin' too low

See, I kicked your butt, true
Now I will lasso you-ou-ou
You'll tell the whole truth
Not one speck of a lie-ie-ie-ie-ie
'Cause I'm Wonder Woman (mmm-hmm-mmm)
Spirit of Truth is my thi-i-ing
As well as ass-kickin'
I just wasted your hi-i-i-i-ide
Don't stare at my bust, douche
Cause I will lasso you (ro-ope you, ooh)
Want one more punch, douche?
I didn't think so-o, du-u-u-ude

Created on an i-isle
That's called Themyscira-a-a-a
And I was given gifts
From the Greek gods a-a-and they a-are:
Speed of the messenger Hermes (he-e-ey)
The skill of Artemi-i-i-is (oh-oh-oh)
The wisdom of great Athena
And then Demeter's stre-e-e-ength
And I can fly
Don't worry 'bout guns (won't make a fuss)
Bracelets I've go-ot
Can deflect the lo-o-ot (who-ole lo-ot)
And i-if I fall, they'll cushion the blow

That's how I kick butt, true
I'll also lasso you-ou-ou (ro-ope you)
You'll spill the whole truth (hey)
That's the power it hi-i-i-i-ides
Known for my compassio-io-ion (yeah-eah)
Though I'm still quick to actio-io-ion (frai-aid so)
Cause I've got my limits
Didn't breach them this ti-i-i-i-ime
Don't think I won't throw you (cause I will throw you) (oh-oh)
Straight through that brick wall, dude (and the next three walls, dude)
If you don't come through (ta-a-a-a-a-alk)
And name your fello-ow droo-oo-oo-oogs (he-e-e-ey)

Mmm-mmm, mmm-mmm
Yeah-eah-eah
Oh-oh-oh-oh, oh-oh-oh-oh

Know you may ask, du-ude (oh-oh)
Why I've not lassoed you (I've yet to lasso you)
Don't want to force you-ou-ou
To reveal all your cri-i-i-i-i-i-imes
Givin' you the optio-io-ion
Though if there's some brainwashi-i-i-in'
That needs quick undoin'
Then I'll wrap you up ti-i-i-i-ight
That's what this rope do-oes, dude (hypnosis gets washed away)
Might have to lasso-o-o you-ou-ou (be on the safe side, true-ue)
Makin' me wa-ant to-o (no-o) (ooh-ooh-ooh-ooh-ooh-ooh)
Eyes up, losin' my-y coo-oo-oo-ool

Themyscira = Them-iss-cure-a. I've found two different pronunciations of lasso (lass-oh and lass-oo) so pick whichever you're comfortable with. Also, I've decided I'm gonna start crediting the featured artist in the "Original Performer Name" field. I just sorta realised it was kinda dickish and inaccurate to not do so (me being me, I'm more concerned with the accuracy).

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Voting Results

 
Pacing: 4.3
How Funny: 4.3
Overall Rating: 4.3

Total Votes: 14

Voting Breakdown

The following represent how many people voted for each category.

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 2   1
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 3   1
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 4   1
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 5   10
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User Comments

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Rob Arndt - December 14, 2015 - Report this comment
Hate to nitpick, but Justice League has more than a Trinity of original members: Superman, Batman, Wonder Woman, Green Lantern, Aquaman, Flash, and Martian Manhunter. And later add Hawk Girl. I won't dock you- 555!
bobpiecheese - December 14, 2015 - Report this comment
The Trinity is a different concept than the Justice League, Rob.The Trinity is sort of an out-of-universe term for DC's three most important characters (regardless of the imbalance when it comes to how often Supes and Bats adaptations then poor ol' Diana), whereas the Justice League is an in-universe team of villain-punchers.

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