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Song Parodies -> "Pepsi or Coke"

Original Song Title:

"Telephone"

Original Performer:

Lady Gaga

Parody Song Title:

"Pepsi or Coke"

Parody Written by:

the_conqueror_of_parodies

The Lyrics

Part of my "Don't Stop The Pop" self-challenge. I know I'm probably alone on this one, mostly due to my Asperger Syndrome, but Coke and Pepsi taste the bloody same. So it's not helpful when they're the only choices available...
I love soda, or as it's called
Down here: soft drink
Lemonade or Sunkist
It's so damn refreshing
If cola's the only choice
It's no problem for me
But don't ask if I would prefer
Coke or Pepsi
C-Coke or Pepsi
C-Coke or Pepsi
Don't ask me if I would prefer Coke or Pepsi

What's the diff'rence?
To me, there is none, I gotta say
Maybe it's my tastebuds that are not working well, eh
When I try to make it easy
And say "Oh, surprise me"
The cashier won't accept, still asks me
"Coke or Pepsi?"

Stop askin', stop askin'
Buyin' pop should not be a chore
You've only got two flavours in this damn store
Stop askin', stop askin'
I don't wanna storm out the door
Really thirsty, just give me what I came for

Dri-i-i-i-i-i-i-i-i-i-ink
Pepsi or Coke, don't ca-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-are
(Pepsi or Coke, don't care)
Want soft dri-i-i-i-i-i-i-i-i-i-ink
(Want soft drink)
Pepsi or Coke, don't ca-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-are
(Pepsi or Coke, don't care)

I would buy some Sprite, but have it, you don't
But I can't choose between Pepsi or Coke
Get me a can
That's closest to you, man
Cause I can't choose between Pepsi or Coke

Would buy a can of Vanilla Coke
But you do not have it in stock, that's low
You've only two
Soft drinks that I can choose
To me, no diff between Pepsi or Coke

And don't even suggest Diet Coke
Still tastes the friggin' same, sir
As does Pepsi Max, sir
Basic cola crap, sir
And yes, there is that Coke Zero
That's diff'rent, that's a fact, sir
But I will not buy that, sir
Zero tastes horrible, sir

No, I'm not mad at you
I'm just really thirsty
And I don't like this choice that you just keep on forcing
I ask why you can't choose for me, you give no reason
Just pick a can that's nice and cold
Cause I am meltin'
(It's hot, I'm meltin')
I am meltin'
(It's hot, I'm meltin')
I am meltin'
(It's hot, I'm meltin')
This heat is melting off my balls
And you're not helpin'

Stop askin', stop askin'
I just want a drink, is that wrong?
If you had some Iced Coffee, I'd be long gone
Stop askin', stop askin'
It is driving me up the wall
I have no drinks left at home, now I need more

Stop askin', stop askin'
I just want a drink cause it's warm
Understatement of the year, it's hot as balls
Stop askin', stop askin'
Coke or Pepsi, neither is wrong
They taste the same, I can't choose, of that, I'm sure

Dri-i-i-i-i-i-i-i-i-i-ink
(Pepsi or Coke, don't care)
Pepsi or Coke, don't ca-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-are
(Want soft drink)
Want soft dri-i-i-i-i-i-i-i-i-i-ink
(Pepsi or Coke, don't care)
Pepsi or Coke, don't ca-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-are
(Want soft drink)

I'd buy 7-Up, but have it, you don't
But I can't choose between Pepsi or Coke
Man, I just want a drink
But it's so hard to think
Cause I can't choose between Pepsi or Coke

Six hundred mils or a can, don't know
Cause the options are still Pepsi or Coke
And see, this little shop
Is the closest, too hot
Just please choose one for me: Pepsi or Coke

Pepsi or Coke
Can't choose, Pepsi or Coke
Cause they both taste the same
Boring cola, that's lame
So I can't choose between Pepsi or Coke

Pepsi or Coke
Can't choose, Pepsi or Coke
Cause it all tastes the same
And I'm sick of this game
I just can't choose between Pepsi or Coke
"Mils" is short for millilitres. Soft drink usually comes in either cans (375 mils) or bottles (600 mils). Iced Coffee is, in this case, the beloved Farmers' Union cold drink exclusive to South Australia.

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 LittleLots
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Original Song: 
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Voting Results

 
Pacing: 4.8
How Funny: 4.6
Overall Rating: 4.6

Total Votes: 5

Voting Breakdown

The following represent how many people voted for each category.

    Pacing How Funny Overall Rating
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 2   0
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 3   0
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 4   1
 2
 2
 
 5   4
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User Comments

Comments are subject to review, and can be removed by the administration of the site at any time and for any reason.

Matthias - May 17, 2013 - Report this comment
Topic too simplistic got stretched a little here, I think. I also think that you're getting too defensive over something that really doesn't matter. If they both taste the same then just order one and not the other. Not the biggest deal in the world. An alright parody overall though.
Agrimorfee - May 17, 2013 - Report this comment
You are an Aspie? Huh, there are many amirighters "on the spectrum'; my son is, too. Anyhow, Coke is definitely sweeter than Pepsi. For a Lady Gaga parody, you need epic lyrics, and this didnt quite come to that level.
Abbott Skelding - May 18, 2013 - Report this comment
I really love the OS (along with anything Gaga does haha) and I have to say that I am more of a Coke than Pepsi person (Vanilla Coke > Coke Zero > Regular Coke > Diet Coke). Gotta agree with Matty that the topic got kind of stretched out, but a lot of good stuff in here regardless (really liked how the Diet Coke and Pepsi Max lines worked well with the original song). Not your best, but still pretty good.
Max Power - May 25, 2013 - Report this comment
The main difference between the two is the after taste. Coke tends to linger a bit longer than Pepsi so that tells you something. I generally prefer Coke but Pepsi isn't bad.
Blaydeman - May 31, 2013 - Report this comment
(ABC) I'm a huge soda guy! When it comes to Coke or Pepsi, I really don't care. If I had a choice I'd pick Coke, but I drink Diet anyway and they taste even more similar so.... yeah. As for the parody, it was okay. Like Aggy said, when doing a Gaga parody the lyrics really need to be larger than life. It was a good write, but didn't quite match the energy and originality of the OS. I think the thin topic had a lot to do with that. Pacing was near perfect though, so that was great. Very easy to sing along with.
brightCAP - May 31, 2013 - Report this comment
That first stanza does a nice job to set up your situation. I liked the "Cause I am melting" lines but my favorite line was: "Buyin' pop should not be a chore." (It sounded very funny as Lady Gaga sang your lyrics in my head)

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