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Song Parodies -> "Doors"

Original Song Title:


Original Performer:

Katy Perry

Parody Song Title:


Parody Written by:


The Lyrics

Part of my "Living The Fantasy" self-challenge. No, not the rock group, your standard way into a room, barring any smashed walls or broken windows. Pretty simple to why can't this guy?
Although I try to always be my best
There's a certain thing I always mess
Up really horribly, real awkward sto-ory
It's such a basic part of life, oh boy
No wonder that I cannot get employed
Wish it was no-othing, it's really embarrasing

I'll lay it down, I just screw up (hey!)
Whenever this one thing comes up
I have no choice, I must work 'round
This, but no progress has been found
You're sayin' now, I must fess up (hey!)
Explain what I've been screwin' up
I'll take the fall, I'll tell you now

I can't get these damn doors open, I'm hopeless
Now it has been spoken you may begin laughin'
Cause I cannot deal with do-o-oors
Never, never can get by them
No, I just can't hack it
I can't get a grip on do-o-oors
I just can't deal with do-o-oors

Whether I misread the "push/pull" signs
Or just clock myself between the eyes
I'm just so u-unco-ordinate-ed, yo

Sometimes the door won't open up (hey!)
And other times my shirt gets stuck
It's such a load, I always frown
Rip myself free, fall to the ground
To top it off, the things won't shut (hey!)
Swing back open and bash my butt
It sucked before, it still sucks now

How can I be so damn clumsy, unlucky
Weird curse put upon me? No wonder you're laughin'
Can't handle a simple do-o-oor
Loser, loser's what I am then
Because the hard fact is:
What dumbass can't use a do-o-oor?
Why can't I deal with do-o-oors?
O-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-oh (it's just a door)
Why do I suck at do-o-oors?

Do-oors, do-oors, do-oors, do-oors, do-oors

It's not just simple doors either, it's sliders
Automatic liars, they're shut then they're slammin'
Into my shins, damn you, do-o-oors!
Painful, painful and obnoxious
Why won't it stop happ'nin'?
Why am I hated by do-o-oors?
O-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-oh (yeah)
Just wanna open do-o-oors
O-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-oh (it's just a door)
My wang's caught in this do-o-oor

In real life, the only time doors get on my nerves is when an earphone cord or the open sleeve of my shirt gets caught on the door handles. Ripped a hole in one of my shirts, that did, though mostly the consequences boil down to "piss me off, waste time and ruin the stereo sound of whatever song I'm listening to".

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Matches Pace of
Original Song: 
How Funny: 
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Voting Results

Pacing: 5.0
How Funny: 4.5
Overall Rating: 4.8

Total Votes: 4

Voting Breakdown

The following represent how many people voted for each category.

    Pacing How Funny Overall Rating
 1   0
 2   0
 3   0
 4   0
 5   4

User Comments

Comments are subject to review, and can be removed by the administration of the site at any time and for any reason.

Blaydeman - January 28, 2014 - Report this comment
THis one was a lot of fun TCOP. The pacing was nearly perfect and you were able to do so much with such a limited topic. It was hilarious! I'm sure all of us can relate to this. For me, I wear baseball caps a lot and I always bump the bill of my hat on doors, which actually hurts a lot! LOL! Us clumsy people are really fun to laugh at, I know!
Matthias - May 02, 2014 - Report this comment
I agree with Blaydeman in the fact that you did a lot with such a little topic. I would have never thought of doing a parody about doors and now that it has been done I'm thinking how have I not ever thought about doing a parody about doors also now that it's been done and extremely well might I add I don't have to.
Jeff Reuben - May 13, 2014 - Report this comment
This is fantastic. The push/pull reminded me of the old Far Side comic where the kid is pushing on the door that says pull (at the School For the Gifted). Well done, when it comes to the podium this round, you got your foot in the door!
Agrimorfee - May 13, 2014 - Report this comment
Wow, I am sorry but I am not as enthusiastic about this as our fellow writers above. I feel you could have done a lot more in the topic; you spent the entire first verse telling us that you have a problem without telling us what it was. 2nd verse was top notch on the topic, though, "Un-co-oh-oord-inated" really made me grimace, reminded me of Rihanna's troubled pronunciation of "umbrella."
Abbott Skelding - May 15, 2014 - Report this comment
I'm kinda split on this one. On the one hand, the pacing was solid, I love the OS (and Katy Perry in general), and you brought in a lot of funny examples of door issues (rather than just walking into/not being able to open). But on the other hand, the whole first verse seemed like a really slow build (and not the good kind) to the topic and then once it got there, it was like "Oh...okay...". That, and with the previously mentioned pronunciation of "uncoordinated"...I'll give this one 3s overall.

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