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Song Parodies -> "Captain Kirk"

Original Song Title:

"Firework"

Original Performer:

Katy Perry

Parody Song Title:

"Captain Kirk"

Parody Written by:

the_conqueror_of_parodies

The Lyrics

Part of my "World Go Boom" self-challenge. I know it's two dorky subjects in a row, but one's a video game/anime series and the other is a character in a live-action series, bit of a difference. Although they both parody Katy Perry songs...er, look, monkeys!
Do you ever fold...when under attack?
When those crazy Kling...
Ons attack us again?
Well, I never do...do that kind of thing
And unless you're Spock
Or Bones, don't call me Jim

I'm the Captain of...this ship, the Enterprise
I will never cry, unless another red shirt dies
Need to show I care...for all of the crew
Can't let my ego through

Let's hope the engine core...can warp...cause I...explore
Must go...towards...where no man's gone before

'Cause buddy, I am Cap...tain Kirk
Dealt with Romulans...and worse
Phasers on stun...stun...stun
That's what we call laser guns...guns...guns

Buddy, I am Cap...tain Kirk
Dealt with insane com...puters
Arm photo-on tor...pe...does
Chekov, whatever I say goes...goes...goes

Beaten many foes...on our trip through space
Beasts and aliens...punch me in the face
Ship is under fire...hope the shields will hold
Uhura, open, please...the comms channel?

I'll try to reason with...these alien dopes
And if they laugh off my big speech, then launch the torpedoes
Now that that is solved...what is that, though?
Something out there that glows

Gotta see what's inside...this light...what makes...it shine
And see...despite...the chance that I will die

'Cause buddy, I am Cap...tain Kirk
I've beat up the Gorn...and worse
Sit in my-y chair...chair...chair
With my perfect shampooed hair...hair...hair

Buddy, I am Cap...tain Kirk
Know that my plans al...ways work
Beam down a-and search...search...search
Hope we don't run out of red shirts...shirts...shirts

Zoom...zoom...zoom
Look, an undiscovered moon...moon...moon
Aliens beat us there, not cool...cool...cool
Unless they're hot green babes, let's cruise...cruise...cruise

'Cause buddy, I am Cap...tain Kirk
Klingons sure get on...my nerves
Fight in the-e dirt...dirt...dirt
Gonna have to rip my shirt...shirt...shirt

Buddy, I am Cap...tain Kirk
This job has its man...y perks
Pretty goo-ood pay...pay...pay
Don't forget the alien babes...babes...babes

Zoom...zoom...zoom
Sulu, take us to Warp 2...2...2
Zoom...zoom...zoom
Sulu, take us to Warp 2...2...2
I illustrated the pauses in the song with ellipses in reference to Shatner's odd speech pattern. Which is why I split words in half more so than usual.

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Voting Results

 
Pacing: 5.0
How Funny: 5.0
Overall Rating: 5.0

Total Votes: 8

Voting Breakdown

The following represent how many people voted for each category.

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 5   8
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User Comments

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Rob Arndt - September 03, 2012 - Report this comment
Loved it-555! Just one technical flaw bothered me and that is laser and phaser. They are definately NOT the same thing! A laser is a beam weapon, an acronym meaning Light Amplification by Stimulated Emission of Radiation. There are several types but power must be increased slowly. A phaser is a powerband weapon and stands for PHASed Energy Rectifier. Its power can jump all over the place. Nazi Germany created both in WW2. Siemens with I.G. Farben created a medical type laser (a form of strahlwaffe) while the Haunebu I disc craft mounted a huge 60mm twin KSK phaser weapon called Donar (Thunder): http://discaircraft.greyfalcon.us/Donar.html
Porfle Popnecker - September 04, 2012 - Report this comment
I had no tribble giving this 5s.
Abbott Skelding - September 04, 2012 - Report this comment
I don't know much about Star Trek, but using the echo/repeating lines in the OS to mimic Shatners speech pattern was brilliant! I really like the title switch too, nice work!

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