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Song Parodies -> "Hit Yourself"

Original Song Title:

"Love Yourself"

Original Performer:

Justin Bieber

Parody Song Title:

"Hit Yourself"

Parody Written by:


The Lyrics

Part of my "Into Pieces" self-challenge. The final part, in fact (not including the supplemental)! Ah, the siren call of the asshole: Stop hittin' yourself! Stop hittin' yourself! Stop hittin' yourself!
Look, man, I'd li-ike to get you out o-of this state
Of not into-olerabl-le but disti-inct pain
But come on, you-ou're just bringin' it o-on you-ourself, mate
Cause it's your o-own hand slappi-in' you in the-e face

And though I keep tellin' you-ou to sto-op
Seems you have this compulsion for hittin' yourself in your dome, bu-ud
Don't get how that's so fu-un
Been doin' this for way too lo-ong
And what's this that you-ou keep claimin': I've been holdin' your ha-and
Forcin' it to go wha-ack?

Look, buddy, I li-ike you but the-ese lies have gotta stop
I don't wanna fi-ight you, admi-it that you're so wro-ong
Sure my hand's arou-ound your wrist, so-o what?
Doesn't really pro-ove jack, stop blamin' me-e, bro
And also sto-op these se-ensele-ess blows

If you do-on't like the-e pain, can't help you-ou much, oh buddy
There's no need to hit yourself
Although a-at least you-ou slap instead o-of full-fist punchin'
Still no need to hit yourself

This happens e-ev'ry time we-e meet u-up, my-y friend
All our talki-in' dissolves i-into argu-uments
And ev'ry ti-ime i-it turns out your opinions a-are wrong
Which makes you wha-ack yourself fai-air square in the-e bonce

Gettin' sick of tellin' you-ou to sto-op
Gotta cure this compulsion for hittin' yourself, cause it's so nu-uts
You can't tell me no, bu-ud
And tell me I have my facts wro-ong
Got no evide-ence that I've been grippin' hard on your ha-and
Bringin' it down hard, ma-an

Look, buddy, I li-ike you but the-ese lies? They need to stop
No inklin' to fi-ight you, admi-it that, wow, you're wro-ong
Sure, those photos loo-ook real damni-in', but
I'm sure context's mi-issin', stop accusi-in', bro
And also sto-op the rai-ain o-of blows

If you de-espise the-e pain, I can't he-elp much, oh buddy
There's no need to hit yourself
Although a-at least you-our hand ain't made o-of spikes or somethin'
Still no need to hit yourself

Mmm-mmm-mmm-mmm-mmm-mmm, mmm-mmm-mmm-mmm-mmm
Mmm-mmm-mmm-mmm-mmm-mmm, mmm-mmm-mmm-mmm-mmm

I don't know why-y you gi-ive these sla-aps you-our all
It's real messed u-up, just becau-ause you're dumb a-as balls
All of these fi-ights you-ou lose are really-y tri-ivial
No, I don't lo-ose and flip ou-out, not true a-at a-all

I'm sure you-ou like the-e pain, that's fairly-y nuts, oh buddy
There's no need to hit yourself
And you kee-eep telli-in' lies, a pretty-y sad compulsion
Still no need to hit yourse-e-elf
Don't say tha-at I cau-ause pain to you, tha-at's nuts, oh buddy
There's no need to hit yourself, yeah-eah-eah-eah
I'll just de-elete (delete) the-ese files (the-ese fi-iles) still on you-our phone (on your phone), ain't nothin' (oh-oh)
Still no need to hit yourse-e-elf

I have this vision in my head of a music video where the dude gets hit in the head by his own hand in time to the guitar. Also, this is the second Bieber breakup song in a row with hilariously unfitting videos. "Sorry" had the dancing ladies, this one has the dancing couple. Coulda been worse. Coulda actually had Captain Shitheap on camera.

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Voting Results

Pacing: 4.8
How Funny: 4.8
Overall Rating: 4.8

Total Votes: 6

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