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Song Parodies -> "Pucker"

Original Song Title:

"Sucker"

Original Performer:

Jonas Brothers

Parody Song Title:

"Pucker"

Parody Written by:

the_conqueror_of_parodies

The Lyrics

Part of my "Run Away" self-challenge. Some dudes are just way too overconfident in their macking skills. Not sure a Jonas Brothers song is the best way to get their attention, but still...
You think you're clever
But it won't work, no, I'll never kiss you, geez
That's altogether, yeah-eah
Lips, hands, the cheek or whatever, you're a sleez
You're harrassin' me at the bar, insultin' me for my car
You think you're in the ballpark of my pants, bud?
So oblivious to my rage, I just threw beer in your face
You'd think my disdain was obvious

I won't pucker for you
Say the word "bitch" as a comma, so I seethe
I won't pucker for you, yeah-eah
Slapped my ass and I'm supposed to swoon wildly?
I won't pucker cause all of the horrible things
You're sure make you so smooth (so smooth), so damn smooth (so smooth)
Make me hate the whole visage I see, won't reciprocate, dude
You douche, I won't pucker for you, yeah

I know you hate it, yeah
Interrupt you to make your cliché come-on complete
Still you don't get it, yeah
Just walk away and try a diff'rent one, a sad scene, ah, yeah, yeah
Never seen someone neg this hard, you must have zero regard
For the defense of your nards, been kicked enough
So convinced that we're on a date, the first time I've met you, mate
Though I've seen your techniques, ev'ry one

I won't pucker for you
Since your eyes are never lookin' at mine, see
I won't pucker for you, yeah-eah
You're a douchecanoe, to put it too mildly
I won't pucker cause all of the horrible things
Reddit told you to do (to do), you to do (to do)
Are the stereotypical things you just said you don't do
You tool, I won't pucker for you, yeah, uh

I won't pucker for you

Inside your head, you think you're suave, though each line's met with a cough
And sometimes it's a flip-off, still won't give up
Get your arm off my shoulder, mate, stop makin' that stupid face
Like you got a vacuum cleaner stuck

I won't pucker for you, yeah-eah
You're so lucky that I'm phrasin' this kindly
I won't pucker for you, yeah-eah
Didn't get black belt just to fill up time, see
I won't pucker cause all of the horrible things
You picked off of Youtube (Youtube), of Youtube (Youtube)
From the comments of e-gamer girls, all those guys got blocked, dude
You fool, I won't pucker for you
Uh
I won't pucker for you

I know I've kinda already done this before, but a) that was about the end of a bad date, this is just the hitting-on phase, b) that was five years ago, c) there's not a lot one can do with a title like "Sucker" and d) I had already finished before I remembered that old parody.

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