Making fun of music, one song at a time. Since the year 2000.
Check out the two amIright misheard lyrics books including one book devoted to misheard lyrics of the 1980s.
(Toggle Right Side Navigation)

Song Parodies -> "Cursed Gloves"

Original Song Title:

"First Love"

Original Performer:

Jennifer Lopez

Parody Song Title:

"Cursed Gloves"

Parody Written by:

the_conqueror_of_parodies

The Lyrics

Part of my Pop Danthology 2013 self-challenge. Ghostly gauntlets! Mystic mittens! Haunted hand coverings!
Ooh-ooh-ooh, ooh-ooh-ooh
Ooh-ooh-ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh-ooh-ooh

See, I should've known this wouldn't be-e goo-ood
That day I found that weird little shop filled wi-ith cra-a-ap
Cause I wasn't lookin' for somethi-in' ne-ew
Had just worn out my old gloves, loved them, they we-ere ra-a-ad
They fe-elt great on my skin
Thought that this shop had the same kind no-ow (huh, huh, huh, huh, hi-i)
Yeah, du-ude, I got sucked in
The cost was heavy, now I feel do-own

Whoa, oh, oh, oh, I-I wish I had no cursed gloves
A terrible cu-urse to find myself locked i-in
All from a pair of damn gloves
Whoa, oh, oh, oh, I-I wish I had no cursed gloves (cursed gloves)
I'm stuck with this cu-urse all because it's locked i-in
This snazzy pair of damned gloves
Whoa, oh, oh, oh, I-I

Explain what this nondescript curse i-invo-olves?
I can't do that cause it switches up all the-e ti-i-ime (ah-ah-ah-ah)
It could make ev'rythin' slipp'ry li-ike ee-eels
Could make me see zero hands where there should be-e mi-i-ine
One da-ay might shave my skin
And then the next day might werewolf ou-ou-out (huh, huh, huh, huh, hi-i)
It's true-ue I'm in deep shi-i-it
Cause these things drag me down so hard no-ow

Whoa, oh, oh, oh, I-I wish I had no cursed gloves
Variable cu-urse that I've trapped myself i-in
Somehow placed within damn gloves
Whoa, oh, oh, oh, I-I wish I had no cursed gloves (cursed gloves)
Which twit sticks a cu-urse in what fingers go i-in?
Who makes a pair of da-amned glo-oves?
Whoa, oh, oh, oh, I-I

Ooh-ooh-ooh, ooh-ooh-ooh, ho-oh-ooh
Ooh-ooh-ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh-ooh-ooh
Huh, huh, huh, huh, hi-i

Could I simply not wear those things? Well, I
I've gotta go and catch a train, so I
Don't think I've got the time for this, goodbye, I, I, I, I-I-I
Okay, that was the first damn thing I tried
And they came off easy, no way to hide
The fault of this predicament is mine, I, I, I, I-I-I (I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I)
I-I-I-I

Whoa, oh, oh, oh, I-I wish I had no cursed gloves
Seems part of the cu-urse is they're comfy as shi-it
Hard not to wear these damn gloves
Whoa, oh, oh, oh, I-I wish I had no cursed gloves (oh-oh-oh-oh-oh) (cursed gloves)
I'm bearin' the cu-urse cause they're such a great fi-it (sorry, they feel ni-ice)
A lovely pair of damned gloves
Whoa, oh, oh, oh, I-I wish I had no cursed gloves (wish I ha-ad) (ooh-ooh-ooh, ooh-ooh-ooh)
Avoidable cu-urse but I just can't help i-it (ooh-ooh-ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh-ooh-ooh)
Love the feel of these damn gloves (oh-oh-oh-oh-oh)
Whoa, oh, oh, oh, I-I wish I had no cursed gloves (wish I had no cursed gloves) (cursed gloves) (ooh-ooh-ooh, ooh-ooh-ooh)
Might die from this cu-urse but it's super worth i-it (ooh-ooh-ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh-ooh-ooh)
The best damn pair of da-amned glo-o-oves
Whoa, oh, oh, oh, I-I

Shopkeeper: Take this object, but beware it carries a terrible curse!
Homer: Ooh, that's bad.
Shopkeeper: But it comes with a free frogurt!
Homer: That's good.
Shopkeeper: The frogurt is also cursed.
Homer: That's bad.
Shopkeeper: But you get your choice of toppings.
Homer: That's good!
Shopkeeper: The toppings contain potassium benzoate.


...that's bad.
Homer: Can I go now?

Your Vote & Comment Counts

The parody authors spend a lot of time writing parodies for the website and they appreciate feedback in the form of votes and comments. Please take some time to leave a comment below about this parody.

Place Your Vote

 LittleLots
Matches Pace of
Original Song: 
How Funny: 
Overall Score: 



In order for your vote to count, you need to hit the 'Place Your Vote' button.
 

Voting Results

 
Pacing: 5.0
How Funny: 5.0
Overall Rating: 5.0

Total Votes: 2

Voting Breakdown

The following represent how many people voted for each category.

    Pacing How Funny Overall Rating
 1   0
 0
 0
 
 2   0
 0
 0
 
 3   0
 0
 0
 
 4   0
 0
 0
 
 5   2
 2
 2
 

User Comments

Comments are subject to review, and can be removed by the administration of the site at any time and for any reason.

The author of the parody has authorized comments, and wants YOUR feedback.

Link To This Page

The address of this page is: http://www.amiright.com/parody/2010s/jenniferlopez0.shtml For help, see the examples of how to link to this page.

This is view # 969