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Song Parodies -> "Need Some Raid"

Original Song Title:

"Not Afraid"

Original Performer:

Eminem

Parody Song Title:

"Need Some Raid"

Parody Written by:

the_conqueror_of_parodies

The Lyrics

Part of my "Don't Stop The Pop" self-challenge.
I need some Raid (I need some Raid)
A lot of cans (a lot of cans)
Bloody insects (bloody insects)
They come in clans (they come in clans)
They've overrun my kitchen, what a swarm
I blame the weather getting warm
It's never just one bug, all alone
It's the whole extended fam'ly, workers and drones (and drones)

[during Chorus]
Man, a lot of flies
I don't know why they, come to my place, instead of a dump
Or maybe they were sick of that dump place
I still want them out, away from me
They're in my hair

Way too many times these insects crawl on my cake, now I'm gonna slay 'em
I don't care if they sting, I'm adverse to bugs, I'll flay 'em
Who let the buggers in here, I know I never okayed 'em
When I see bugs in my kitchen, I shoo it
Whether in the bath or the sink
They're a nuisance to me, invade my world
Piss off me, I'm riled up, they're not gonna conquer me
I've a beef with ev'ry kind of bee, must get them out my house, you see
And all those who just frown on me, let's see you deal with centipedes
I'm just sick of bugs, don't have to ask me why, they just bug me
No more insects, or any damn arachnids, can
Hear them buzzin', it's a damn cacophony if you ask me
I want them out now, now they're on my towel? Out with 'em
Maybe I am cursed, I do not deserve
This bloody insect plague, but I'm gonna deal with it
Soon after this verse, I'll play a dirge, cause there's a surge
Of bugs comin' from the dirt, but soon they will feel the hurt

I need some raid (I need some raid)
Whole lot of cans (Whole lot of cans)
If you're squeamish (If you're squeamish)
Don't bug me, man (Don't bug me, man)
I'll smack them with the swatter, very hard
Yes, I do mean to cause them harm
Just thought you should know that, so be a bro
And go get me something that can kill a cockroach (cockroach)

Last time I checked there's no rights for insects or ticks, so that is that
So I won't have to deal with morons like PETA protesting my low-cash ass
And man, that would stink, tossed out on my feet, no flat
Litigation, sued for endang'ring bugs instead of cats
Enough of that, I'm sorry for that tangent, that was wack
I'll honestly say that PETA crap was nonsense, so crap
I'll be honest, so was that tangent, get it? Ehh
Perhaps I should get back to the main point now
Relax, I am going back to that now
This infestation's getting capped, that's right, now
No longer messing around
No more damn flea circus, gonna axe them now, I have no need for bug clowns
But I think I'm still trying to figure my plan out
Yeah, I had it mapped out, but those termites ate it, it's not a cop-out
Don't wanna be surrounded, I want a genocide on insects
These carpet-munchers are gonna face my wrath now!

I need some raid (I need some raid)
Whole stack of cans (whole stack of cans)
Double wield 'em (double wield 'em)
One in each hand (one in each hand)
I'm way past being pleasant, hate this swarm
These bugs are peasants, I'm the lord
Encroaching on my turf, that's a no-no
I just can't wait to crush them all beneath my toes (my toes)

And all these bugs just get in my way
So starting today
I'm gonna bust out the Raid
I'll wipe them out, boots were made for stompin'
They will be crushed, this flat is my ground
I've had enough, yes I am fed up
Cause the flat is super infested right now! (now)

Not a hard decision to get mean, to deal with these fiends
Pissed as can be, I'll quickly kill 'em with spray and with feet
Look, dude, I'm sick of flies swimmin' in my drink, that's disgusting, dude
Cause when I realised that I drank those flies, I spewed
Bought lots of bug zappers, they will help to frizzle moths and other critters
You know I've got a gas mask, you guys, I don't wanna breathe the
Raid cloud, buggers they'll make like leaves and go quicker
Or drop dead, I'll get the sweeper
Or the vacuum, but now on, I promise
That I will never leave uneaten food or spilled Iced Coffee, nope, no longer
Wash the dishes, and not just dick about like Aesop's grasshopper
I mean it! I'm gonna make this cleanliness my habit
Make myself a deal, if I fall back on the cleaning stuff
No more TV, bud, or any games till it's all cleaned up
Cause it has gone too far
This shit needs to move, first off the flies that buzz round my arse
Once I'm done shopping cuz I

I need some raid (I need some raid)
Lot of it, man (lot of it, man)
Once they're all out (once they're all out)
I'll make a plan (I'll make a plan)
To change me for the better, clean me up
I could be better, not a schlub
I thought you should know that, now don't look low
I think that a cockroach just ran up your leg, bro (leg, bro)
I don't know if Raid exists here in Australia, but that's not the point, now is it?

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Voting Results

 
Pacing: 3.0
How Funny: 5.0
Overall Rating: 3.0

Total Votes: 2

Voting Breakdown

The following represent how many people voted for each category.

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 2   0
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 3   0
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 4   0
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 5   1
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User Comments

Comments are subject to review, and can be removed by the administration of the site at any time and for any reason.

Macaroni Man - October 17, 2012 - Report this comment
It's a song with a lot of lyrics for a topic that's hard to say in too many ways. So good job. There was a stinkbug infestation on my porch a couple weeks ago, but no type of wasp or mosquito Raid we had seemed to be effective on them, so I took a tobacco stake thing and started just crushing them.

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