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Song Parodies -> "Epitaph"

Original Song Title:

"Photograph"

Original Performer:

Ed Sheeran

Parody Song Title:

"Epitaph"

Parody Written by:

the_conqueror_of_parodies

The Lyrics

Part of my "50 Shades of Pop" self-challenge. Truly the most important question of one's own impending mortality: what to put your headstone?
Laid in the dirt
Six feet of di-i-irt in time
Whenever my brain up and explodes
Or when my hea-ea-eart
Escapes from all the la-a-arge meal fries
And when that day comes, there'll be
One thing on my mi-i-i-ind:
What should I have for my epitaph?
Something that embodies my true se-elf
Should I go with words I've spoken
Or a show I'm quoting
In a way that's overkill?

Don't want "Rest In Peace"
So plain and boring and just not me
How about "Told you I was sickly?"
Might be an overused joke
I love classics, you know

Something with feels?
Something to tou-ouch your soul
But sappy ain't the way that I-I-I roll, no
No, I want something wittier
Than the other tombstones, something pithier
Mmm-mmm, cause bitter sarcasm was just
How I lived my li-i-i-i-i-ife
Mmm-mmm, need something good for my epitaph
Maybe "I'll see you bastards in he-ell"
"I thought it was a love potion"
An ironic slogan
Or how 'bout the headstone's bill?

Something that suits me
Not just "We Miss You", that won't work, see
Want my spot in the cemetery
To stand out from those dead do-o-opes
Might sound rude of me
But I'm thinking of my own death, see
I don't have normal priorities
How about I have "Them Bones"?
The whole song? I don't know
Copyright might say no
Just the chorus or so-o
"Big ol' pile of them bones"
Ooh-ooh

What font should it be?
Arial? Times New Roman? Maybe Calibri?
Comic Sans to annoy those web geeks
Beyond the grave, they'll be tro-o-olled
How big should it be?
Small text that you have to get close to read
And then it says "That hurts, get off me"
In the skies, you'd see me LO-OL

Morbid, you say?
Don't take what I say seriously
Just doing this theoretic'lly
I got one more before you go
"What, no respawn? This blows"

The last one is what my younger brother wants on his headstone. It has yet to be determined how serious he is.

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Original Song: 
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Voting Results

 
Pacing: 4.4
How Funny: 4.4
Overall Rating: 4.4

Total Votes: 13

Voting Breakdown

The following represent how many people voted for each category.

    Pacing How Funny Overall Rating
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 2   0
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 3   3
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 4   2
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 5   8
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User Comments

Comments are subject to review, and can be removed by the administration of the site at any time and for any reason.

Agrimorfee - May 29, 2016 - Report this comment
Highly original topic, although not as funny as I hoped it would be, like how you used the entire last verse discussing font and text size...
Abbott Skelding - May 31, 2016 - Report this comment
A great topic and a great OS (my fiance and I are using it for our first dance next year). I loved the font/text size chorus and there were a lot of funny lines throughout. Solid work!
Red Ant - June 01, 2016 - Report this comment
Great job denoting carried syllables, it made following this OS a breeze. Loved the nod to Alice in Chains, and the topic was quite novel. I want my headstone to read "Loading, please wait. You have entered the Plane of the Unknown".. well, maybe not lol
Matthias - June 01, 2016 - Report this comment
VERY Unusual and creative topic choice that really pairs well with the slow, somber OS. I would love to hear this one recorded
Blaydeman - June 05, 2016 - Report this comment
(ABC) I thought this was fantastic! I felt like you hit the perfect balance of honest, genuine tone and comedy. You had a great feel for this OS and had tons of lines that I thought were brilliant. Obviously the font/text chorus was great, but I also loved the cemetery/priorities sections too. I just felt good while reading this and am so enchanted by it. Great work, TCOP!

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