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Song Parodies -> "Cannibal"

Original Song Title:

"Criminal"

Original Performer:

Britney Spears

Parody Song Title:

"Cannibal"

Parody Written by:

Abbott Skelding

The Lyrics

Combining my two favorite writing subjects, love and food, into the ultimate love story. Original Song: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=BhJ7U07-20g
I met this lady shopping at the mall
She is so pretty, a nice bum
(Bum, bum, bum)
She asked me out, have dinner at her home
That’s when I knew she was the one
(One, one, one)

My friends all told me I should stay away
For dinner she made me a real nice ste-ak
She said she’d love me, she’d love all my heart
She said, “I must taste every part…”

But I think I'm in love with a cannibal
I think I should run, this ain’t possible, it's laughable
I’ll stay for the night, I will be alright
She seems really nice, I’ll give her a try, I’ll be fine

She said she loves my eyes and loves my arms
Then we start kissing, taste her tongue
(Tongue, tongue, tongue)
Can’t call it quits, we’re getting physical
She chewed my earlobe likes it’s gum
(Gum, gum, gum)

Uh-oh
That dinner
Now I know…
Not cow
She, said she likes my brain- must think I’m smart
But now I know that we should part

Now I know I’m in love with a cannibal
Think I found a lung on the freezer door, it's horrible
She looked in my eyes, and she smiled so bright
Know the reason why, I should run so I’m not in pie

Hope I won’t be maimed
She pulls on my arm, can’t get to car
She’s making a flambé
Please help me

But this girl has my heart (People talk)
Folks just disregard, we’ll never part
But I can’t even hear with no ears

But mama, I'm in love with this cannibal
I’m missing a thumb but won’t find it though, in stomach now
Mama, please don't cry, the love of my life
Everyone should try her finger foods fried, be surprised!

Mama, I'm in love with a cannibal
And we’re so in love, shared our nuptials, incredible!
Mama, please don't cry, we will be alright
Feel free to stop by, have dinner some time, don’t have the pie!

Your Vote & Comment Counts

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Matches Pace of
Original Song: 
How Funny: 
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Voting Results

 
Pacing: 4.9
How Funny: 4.8
Overall Rating: 4.7

Total Votes: 11

Voting Breakdown

The following represent how many people voted for each category.

    Pacing How Funny Overall Rating
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 2   0
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 1
 
 3   0
 1
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 4   1
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 5   10
 10
 10
 

User Comments

Comments are subject to review, and can be removed by the administration of the site at any time and for any reason.

Porfle Popnecker - June 08, 2012 - Report this comment
Meals on heels!
Jeff Reuben - June 08, 2012 - Report this comment
Pretty funny, the humor was more subtle than I expected when I first started reading. Nice job with this song.
Glen S - June 16, 2012 - Report this comment
Tasty. Funny jokes in here, and especially liked the sub 'Think I found a lung on the freezer door, it's horrible'. Well done Abbott
Blaydeman - June 26, 2012 - Report this comment
(SOTM) Good job on this one Abbott. I had a few lines that I scanned weird because of some creative grammar on your part, but after re-reading them, they worked out fine. One thing is for sure, the funny wasn't lacking at all. LOved the "Finger foods" line!
bobpiecheese - June 28, 2012 - Report this comment
(SOTM) I don't want to be a pie! I don't like gravy! Great parody here, maybe it'd work in a setting-update remake of Sweeney Todd. 555!
Matthias - June 28, 2012 - Report this comment
I agree with Jeff. The humor in here is really good but you need to be smart in order to see it because a lot of these can go over your head if you're not thinking about it. If anybody doesn't like this you can just say: "Bite Me!"
Arwen - June 29, 2012 - Report this comment
SOTM...it's amazing to me how funny I think cannibal jokes are...when if I really think about it too much...it totally grosses me out. This was fun enough to keep me in happy mode, though...nice work!! My favorite part was "...she must think I'm smart."
Matthias - February 02, 2013 - Report this comment
Great recording. I don't think you had a recording when I originally reviewed this. This girl sounds like a perfect date for Hannibal Lector.
brightCAP - February 06, 2013 - Report this comment
A very relatable situation. Plus, it has a moral of acceptance! Favorite line: She chewed my earlobe like it's gum
Max Power - February 12, 2013 - Report this comment
Meals on wheels!
Agrimorfee - February 13, 2013 - Report this comment
"Take another piece of my heart now baby...and my spleen, my elbow...' It was definitely better than the title suggests.
bobpiecheese - February 14, 2013 - Report this comment
(ABC) See above!
Blaydeman - February 17, 2013 - Report this comment
(ABC) See Above! Still delectably good.

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