Making fun of music, one song at a time. Since the year 2000.
Check out the two amIright misheard lyrics books including one book devoted to misheard lyrics of the 1980s.
(Toggle Right Side Navigation)

Song Parodies -> "Old-age Toerag"

Original Song Title:

"Teenage Dirtbag"

Original Performer:


Parody Song Title:

"Old-age Toerag"

Parody Written by:

Kristof Robertson

The Lyrics

Senior citizens can be really nasty if you get on the wrong side of them...
My name is Bernard
I'm eighty six tomorrah
My life's been hard
I've got long tales of woe and horror
Now I do poos in other folks shoes
I sometimes forget who I am,
But really I don't give a damn about you

Cause I'm just an old-age toerag, matey
I'm just an old-age gas bag, matey
I've been a shit since I was eighty, you see

My best friend is Bert
His wheelchair is built for danger
If you get hurt
It's your fault for being a stranger
He lives next to me
He swears and I wee
We might not know who we are
But we're still allowed to drive a car

Cause we are just old-age toerags, buddy
We are just old-age gas bags, buddy
Don't ever call me a fuddy duddy, I'm mean

Oh yeah, Toerag: No, I just don't care where I'm pissin' (x2)

Man I'm really old, It's bath night and I am smelly
Lo and behold, I'll make your life a misery
My teeth are fake, my legs start to shake
I see a damn sexy gran
Maybe she'll give a damn about....

I've got two tickets to all-night bingo Bernie-aah
Come with me Friday, I'll show you my hernia
I'm just an old age toerag, Bernie, like you

Your Vote & Comment Counts

The parody authors spend a lot of time writing parodies for the website and they appreciate feedback in the form of votes and comments. Please take some time to leave a comment below about this parody.

Place Your Vote

Matches Pace of
Original Song: 
How Funny: 
Overall Score: 

In order for your vote to count, you need to hit the 'Place Your Vote' button.

Voting Results

Pacing: 4.0
How Funny: 5.0
Overall Rating: 4.5

Total Votes: 4

Voting Breakdown

The following represent how many people voted for each category.

    Pacing How Funny Overall Rating
 1   1
 2   0
 3   0
 4   0
 5   3

User Comments

Comments are subject to review, and can be removed by the administration of the site at any time and for any reason.

Super Bitch (to the rescue!) - May 19, 2004 - Report this comment
LoL i really enjoyed tht......i liked the bit about his mate in the wheelchair and the fact tht he shits in uver peoples shoes..classy....
lil ali - February 10, 2008 - Report this comment
this really reflects on old-age pensioners, so funny although the pacing was rubbish!!! You should have wrote a poem instead of a song mate, you're not very good at your rhythm are u?

The author of the parody has authorized comments, and wants YOUR feedback.

Link To This Page

The address of this page is: For help, see the examples of how to link to this page.

This is view # 1471