Here I am on the can
Smelling worse than an old caveman
And I hate this constipation
Can someone get a fan?
Sitting there, not so great
And my legs went numb, it stings
Can someone help me? I feel crappy

All damn night, on the john
Now it's getting unbelievable
And I don’t feel any better,
Since this time yesterday
And right now, I surround
Myself with potpourri- and right now I ask you
When will it pass through...?

Going...
Ooohhhhh no. Ooohhhhh no. Ooohhhhhhhhhh.
Moaning...
Ooohhhhh no. Ooohhhhh no. Ooohhhhhhhhhh.

Here I am, it’s absurd
Nothing has come out on day three
And I think I’d really like some Ex-Lax next to me
And I can't feel my legs –would anyone have
Just an extra bran muffin?
It’s not going...

Screaming...
Ooohhhhh no. Ooohhhhh no. Ooohhhhhhhhhh.
Moaning...
Ooohhhhh no. Ooohhhhh no. Ooohhhhhhhhhh.

Tell me there's a cure somewhere
Smells so bad, I need some air
When’s the day that all this relief will come.
Nothing coming out my cheeks
I’ve been here for 13 weeks
This must be what it’s like to give birth
No!

Ooohhhhh no. Ooohhhhh no. Ooohhhhhhhhhh.
Going..
Ooohhhhh no. Ooohhhhh no. Ooohhhhhhhhhh.
Moaning...
Ooohhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh...