So not well known, so not that poor
who am I? we're not that sure
not in tabloids, who gives a sh!t?
so badly trying, so "not-quite-it"

I'm hanging out in London bars and Drinking
I say I'm famous, and yet my main talent is:
"watch me show my bum"

(show my bum)
these pesky wanabes are filling up the streets
(show my bum)
going on popstars is a sign of your defeat
(show my bum)
If I had some talent, it's my Butt being so sweet
so here I come, my name's "No-One"
I Show my Bum

so here I roll, in birthday suit
newspapers say "Who are you?"
I explain, and they're not sure
quite what the f*ck I'm round here for

went down to the Ivy
the Bouncer I knew
he said "stop trying, we'll never admit you"
I showed my bum

(show my bum)
these pesky wanabes are filling up the streets
(show my bum)
signed my autograph on my credit card receipt
(show my bum)
If I had some talent, it's my Butt being so sweet
so here I come, my name's "No-One"
I Show my Bum

so ask about my talent
page 3 on a wednesday
drunken on a thursday
and forgot by sunday
cause my Butt's wrong
my Butt's wrong

went out for an interview
the Job centre tries
to find me an occupation I despise
just cause my Butt's wrong
cause my Butt's wrong

it says here, I'm unclear

(show my bum)
these pesky wanabes are filling up the streets
(show my bum)
signed my autograph on my credit card receipt
(show my bum)
If I had some talent, it's my Butt being so sweet
so here I come, my name's "No-One"
I Show my Bum