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Song Parodies -> "The Bum Song"

Original Song Title:

"No Strings Attached"

Original Performer:


Parody Song Title:

"The Bum Song"

Parody Written by:

Peter Andersson a.k.a K1chyd

The Lyrics

This one's for the current round of ONE WEEK NOTICE challenge, this time again hosted by Matthias. (You too can be a host and help us save Amiright, or for starters simply join a round for your own fun - details are to be found under "Amiright Events" on the front page).

A YouTube version of the original song can currently be found here.
People say I'm dressed like a bum

You see I've always muddy shoes
And my pants have holes through and through
And I see no point in have them on
As long's our conference are on the phone

They're itching me
Telepresence I've yet to learn
Every cam should be turned
They follow me
Can't throw away my gloves
Fingerless gloves with dijon residue

Ladies think I smell like a bum
I'm Wonderbaum in DNA olfactory
And I have a look they can't get past
It's how I like it, can't my shorts
Dump in the trash

It doesn't help that I've tics and complexion
Dogs they hurl and kids screem
(Dogs they hurl and kids screem)
Hence I moonshine keep around
My beer gut is round
Not even mum likes what she sees
She yells at me
Common manners I've yet to learn
When on the can matches burn
Still can't blow away my mum
Though if again she'll shiv me I'll have her offed

Yes, for sure I'm a clueless bum
(Correction: A worthless bum!)
I don't have a frigging clue on trendy stuff
(A human sloth!)
And I have a face cops can't get past
With crap I stuff it, when I fart
Flowers shred ash

No bloom for me
Basement living I've yet to leave
Even the rats are bereaved
They pity me
Still can't throw away my gloves
Fingerless gloves with egg on residue
Sent out for ewes on call but none came baaaack

Cuffed my Granma to the prom with me
But she got away you see
(Slipped away from him!)
She dumped me mercilessly

*Repat horrible choruses ad nauseam*
© Peter Andersson.

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Original Song: 
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Voting Results

Pacing: 3.4
How Funny: 3.4
Overall Rating: 3.4

Total Votes: 9

Voting Breakdown

The following represent how many people voted for each category.

    Pacing How Funny Overall Rating
 1   3
 2   0
 3   1
 4   0
 5   5

User Comments

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Matthias - March 02, 2018 - Report this comment
Funny idea about a bum who finally gets a job but wants to keep his same shabby wardrobe. I liked it! Very descriptive!
Agrimorfee - March 02, 2018 - Report this comment
A bit random and illogical than I would normally expect from you Peter, but still a fun read.
Claude Prez - March 02, 2018 - Report this comment
Man, telecommuting sounds AWESOME! If I was single, I mean - and at least you went to the prom. Delightful imagery here; well done.

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