-> "Tour Guide"
Original Song Title:
"New Divide"
Parody Song Title:
"Tour Guide"
The Lyrics
Well, I woke up at five
My eyes were very crusty
Couple coffees I drank
I'm on my way to work
Gotta lead around guys
Around these beautiful trees
But then all they do is burp
A good smack's what they deserve
They ask me questions
Like "Where's the mall?"
Why'd they leave their country?
If all they want
Is crap at home they'd find
So I drag them
Through this forest
Of natural beauty
But it's not enough to please their simple minds
Do they hate tour guides?
Don't know why they're outside
And taking lots of snapshots
Since one of them asked why
"When will the lions show?"
This is not a zoo
The wildlife has no schedule
But my reason's never heard
They just complain 'bout the birds
Keep asking questions
About how long
Their hat will take to clean
I don't know squat
I'm not your laundry guy
I'm just a tour guide
There's no McDonald's in the wild
And yet this doofus asks me why
That isn't so, it makes me cry
Can't they enjoy this world of life?
But I think all that they herd
Is "Blah blah blah derpty derp"
Can't it be treason
For any twonk
To interrupt my speech
Just to ask "What
Time do we get inside?"
Give me reason
To not snap now
And rip out all their spleens
Want their money back but this was a free hike
I'm sick of tourists, guys
Ignore me every time
Do they hate tour guides
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Voting Results
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Pacing: | 4.8 | |
How Funny: | 4.6 | |
Overall Rating: | 4.4 | |
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Total Votes: | 5 |
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