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Song Parodies -> "Jesus' 'I Am' Phrases"

Original Song Title:

"Faint"

Original Performer:

Linkin Park

Parody Song Title:

"Jesus' 'I Am' Phrases"

Parody Written by:

the_conqueror_of_parodies

The Lyrics

Following in the ways of iisryan (Dedication-Rap Name), Luke Brattoni (Devout Me-Without Me) and Chuckobo (Jesus Is The Way-I'm Walking Away), here is my parodeity. Note I mentioned all seven 'I Am' phrases.
I am
The bread of life, I'm always this
And if you believe me you won't thirst
Handful of complaints
But you must know the fact
That those that aren't with me are cursed

I am
The way, the truth and the life
Where I want you to be
But it's like no matter what I do
I can't convince you
to just believe, yeah, in me

And I'm
The gate, come right through
Come in, I've been waiting for you
Turn away, and you'll wish you had not
'Cause you'll be there in hell where it's hot

I will do
What I've been sent to do
Don't stop believing me
I came just for you
Time won't heal
The damage anymore
You'll be sent to hell, where
I can't be with you

I am
A really good shepherd
And if you are unconfident
I'll help you understand
I say what I am
And then you will all repent

I am
The light of the world, I say
Hopefully you will not doubt
But it's like no matter what I do
I can't convince you
for once let me lead you out

So I'm
The vine, holding you
If you sin, my dad will burn you
Turn away, and you'll wish you had not
'Cause you'll be there in hell where it's hot

I will do
What I've been sent to do
Don't stop believing me
I came just for you
Time won't heal
The damage anymore
You'll be sent to hell, where
I can't be with you

No
Hear me out now
I am the resurrection, like it or not
Right now
Hear me out now
I am the resurrection, like it or not
Right now

All believe
In what I have to say
Pharisees listen I
Don't have time to play

I will do
What I've been sent to do
Don't stop believing me
I came just for you
Time won't heal
The damage anymore
You'll be sent to hell, where
I can't be with you
Linkin Park Official Site
Click 'Prev' twice to hear TOS.
Just in case you DKTOS.

Your Vote & Comment Counts

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 LittleLots
Matches Pace of
Original Song: 
How Funny: 
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Voting Results

 
Pacing: 4.2
How Funny: 3.4
Overall Rating: 3.8

Total Votes: 16

Voting Breakdown

The following represent how many people voted for each category.

    Pacing How Funny Overall Rating
 1   1
 4
 2
 
 2   0
 1
 2
 
 3   2
 2
 1
 
 4   5
 3
 3
 
 5   8
 6
 8
 

User Comments

Comments are subject to review, and can be removed by the administration of the site at any time and for any reason.

KmartFreak - January 03, 2006 - Report this comment
Religion never sounded so good! 555!
John Jenkins - January 03, 2006 - Report this comment
Amen. Well done, conqueror.
cam - January 07, 2006 - Report this comment
thats totally cool bro. im heaps impressed!!
Peter Andersson a.k.a K1chyd - February 05, 2006 - Report this comment
SOTM - Fixed the link for you on the signing up thread. Unorthodox choice/concept for the SOTM.
Adagio - February 08, 2006 - Report this comment
(SOTM) The .mp3 didn't work, but I'm very impressed!
Agrimorfee - February 09, 2006 - Report this comment
(SOTM) Hmmm...the mp3 worked. Are you using Window Media Player Adagio? This was interesting---Christian rap-rock group DC Talk would have liked this. Some beats were missing in the pace.
Cat - February 09, 2006 - Report this comment
(SOTM) Oh lordy...I remember at camp a couple years back there was a kid who used to play the OS on his computer all the time and bug us. Eh, okay, I'm agnostic so I really didn't get some of the allusions, and there were a few too many lines left from the OS for my liking.
bobpiecheese - February 10, 2006 - Report this comment
Cat: It might've been the way I set it out.
Max Power - February 10, 2006 - Report this comment
SOTM-Water to wine.
Cat - February 10, 2006 - Report this comment
bobpiecheese, are you the_conqueror_of_parodies?
bobpiecheese - February 10, 2006 - Report this comment
Max: That's funny for so many reasons. Cat: OMG, I thought everybody had figured that out by now. Look at my parody page and click on 'Bobpiecheese'. That should explain it for you.
Red Ant - February 11, 2006 - Report this comment
(SOTM) Well done bobpiecheese, the pace is tough to get because of the speed of the singing but you nailed it. I have to admit I'm a bit rusty on religion so I too didn't get it all. And what Peter said.
Confission - February 11, 2006 - Report this comment
(SOTM) not funny, and i thought jesus was portrayed a little harshly with all the "you're going to burn in hell" talk
Matthias - February 20, 2006 - Report this comment
Okay I dunno why, but I cracked up at this line, "If you sin, my dad will burn you"... I'm telling you, I don't like Linkin Park, but that line... My god it was funny!!!
Dominic L. - February 23, 2006 - Report this comment
SOTM- Sorry, didn't know it... but it was pretty funny.
Johnny D - February 26, 2006 - Report this comment
(SOTM) Good writing job, the_conqueror_of_parodies.
Phil Alexander - February 27, 2006 - Report this comment
Much too serious for my taste in religion, I'm afraid ;-)
wannabemustangjockey - February 28, 2006 - Report this comment
(SOTM) This is interesting. I DKTOS unfortunately, but it all makes sense.
Larry Hensley - March 01, 2006 - Report this comment
(SOTM) DKTOS, but ok
Shikkarasu - July 18, 2006 - Report this comment
Beleive it or not I both like LInkin Park and know most of those speaches by Jesus and liked the parody. The thought of Jesus rapping is funny save for one vital flaw: who will he thank for his succsess?

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