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Song Parodies -> "Clothing Shop"

Original Song Title:

"Lollipop"

Original Performer:

Lil Wayne

Parody Song Title:

"Clothing Shop"

Parody Written by:

the_conqueror_of_parodies

The Lyrics

Part of my "Viva La Pop" self-challenge. No-one likes to be dragged around by their girlfriend while they go on a shopping spree. Well, there's probably some people out there who do, but a lack of conflict does not make for a good story, now does it? Enjoy!
Ow
Uh huh, feel so low (don't want to, baby)
I'm draggin' my feet cause my girlfriend's a big shopper
And not a practical shopper

Sh-sh-she takes me to the clothin' shop (clothin' shop) (yeah)
Sh-she drags me through the clothin' shop, c-clothin' shop (yeah)
Sh-sh-she loves to go to clothin' shops (clothin' shops) (yeah)
Sh-she knows that I hate clothin' shops (clothin' shops)

Buyin' lots of stuff, stuff, stuff (yeah)
Wastin' all our bucks, bucks, bucks (yeah)
Yes, I said our bucks (yeah), this shared account sure sucks (yeah)
She wastes it on this crud, crud, crud (that she buys in the clothin' shop)
All this stupid ju-unk, ju-unk, ju-unk
Cause it's "cute and stu-u-uff, stu-u-uff, stu-u-uff"
Why do you need uggs, got six pairs at home, hun
"But it's a bargain!" Yuck, yuck, yuck (yeah-eah)

Ok, lil' mama's wastin' all of my time (yeah)
Can't try on one dress, no, she gotta try nine (yeah)
Ask what I think, I keep repeatin' "fine" (yeah)
Man, this all feels like a production line (yeah)
And man, I swear each dress looks just like the first (yeah)
"It's cut diff'rent! The straps have changed!" and more words (yeah)
I think she might be done but derp, derp (yeah)
That's what I get for tauntin' Murph', Murph' (yeah)
So she keeps me
Sh-sh-she keeps me in this clothin' shop (clothin' shop) (yeah) (an Ackbar-like trap)
Nee-needs to try on six other tops, o-other tops (yeah) (I'm so trapped)
Sh-sh-she's trapped me in this clothin' shop (clothin' shop) (yeah) (so damn trapped)
Gee-geez, think my brain's about to pop ('bout to pop)

Always makes me lug, lug, lug (yeah)
All her friggin' stuff, stuff, stuff (yeah)
Swear it weighs a ton, but I know we're not done (yeah)
She'll keep shoppin' til dusk, dusk, dusk (yeah)
Eighteen bags of stu-uff, stu-uff, stu-uff (who needs that?)
From one shop, it su-u-ucks, su-u-ucks, su-u-ucks (feelin' like crap)
Each shop, a redux, bit by the shoppin' bug
That bug needs to be crushed, crushed, crushed

Though what I say is true (yeah), my girl just won't stop (yeah)
Gotta buy it (yeah), shoppin' til she drops
Ooh (yeah), shop-sh-sh-sh-shoppin' til she drops
B-b-b-but I bet she won't drop

Shawty says the t-shirt that she wants won't fit
Shawty says the t-shirt's too cute to call quits
Shawty says the t-shirt is a bargain, shit
So shawty's gonna buy it, buy it, gets on my tits
"Does my ass look big in these jeans" Oh crap
I can't say that it does, cause it doesn't, that's a fact
Can't say it does not, because she won't believe that
A sadistic choice, crap
Once again I'm trapped

Ev'ry day I'm stuck, stuck, stuck (like a fly, trapped)
In this shoppin' rut, rut, rut (in a flytrap)
Luggin' all this crud, all I can do is grunt (yeah)
And trail behind my love, love, love
My girlfriend, she's t-t-t-t-trapped me in these clothin' shops
Knowin' that I h-h-h-h-hate these friggin' clothin' shops, c-clothin' shops
I know that she loves me, but also clothin' shops
Yeah, she's a determined shopper
Sh-she loves to go to clothin' shops (clothin' shops)

Now she's buyin' gloves, gloves, gloves
Wool and leather ones, ones, ones
Who needs more than one pair of each kind of glove?
Well, my girlfriend sure does, does, does
Come on hun, plea-ea-ease, don't need that many gloves, now do ya?
Hu-h-hun plea-ea-ease, d-don't need sixteen pairs of jeans, do ya?
Hu-h-h-hun plea-ea-ease, do-don't need eight leather belts, now do ya?
Hu-hun plea-ea-ease, do-do-don't need more than one beanie, do ya?
Hu-hun plea-ea-ease, don't need all of them socks, now do ya?
Hu-h-hun plea-ea-ease, d-don't need six diff'rent hoodies, do ya?
Hu-h-h-hun plea-ea-ease, do-don't need a hund'red t-shirts, do ya?
Hu-hun plea-ea-ease, do-do-don't need all of those thongs, now do ya?

Honey, this is nuts, nuts, nuts (like a nutsack)
Gettin' all this stuff, stuff, stuff (had to buy that)
Swear it's like a drug the way you're always up
While I'm stuck in the dumps, dumps, dumps (feelin' like crap)
Baby, are we nearly do-one, do-one, do-one
With this shoppin' ru-u-un, ru-u-un, ru-u-un?
I can barely huff, can't feel my arms and stuff
They're dragged down with your junk, junk, junk

I'm beggin', girl, stop (stop)
You've shopped until I dropped (drop)
Right on my sweaty bottom (haha)
With your bags of items
So can I have a rest (yeah)
No wait, drive home instead (yeah)
Go straight home to bed (yeah)
Baby tell me yes
You think hmmmmmmmmmmm (I'm dead, man)
Think hmmmmmmmmmmm (out of breath, man)
You think hmmmmmmmmmmm (can't go on, man)
Hmmmmmmmmmmm

Hone-ey, you say you're finished shoppin'? Thank ya
Hone-ey, will make up for my whinin' to ya
Hone-ey, say you've got a plan for that, do ya?
Hone-ey, you wanna buy me clothes? I beg ya
Honey, I don't n-n-n-n-need to go to clothin' shops
Plea-please, I've maxed all my clothin' wants, s-so please stop (don't need more clothes, please, cause I'm an efficient shopper)
P-p-please don't drag me through clothin' shops
Plea-please, I'll walk home myself, just stop (someone who's in shape, please stop he-er)

"Tauntin' Murph'" is, of course, a reference to Murphy's Law, which generally goes along the lines of "anything that can go wrong will go wrong"

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Peter Andersson - June 29, 2014 - Report this comment
The persistence acquired for writing a parody this long can only have come from being dragged through many a clothing store in real life and survived the brain trauma. Bravo!

On a personal footnote I once had kind of a a similar idea for 50 Cent's "Candy Shop" but ended up writing over an original with less rap:

http://www.amiright.com/parody/90s/tlc23.shtml

The author of the parody has authorized comments, and wants YOUR feedback.

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