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Song Parodies -> "Bad at Dance"

Original Song Title:

"Bad Romance"

Original Performer:

Lady Gaga

Parody Song Title:

"Bad at Dance"

Parody Written by:

Below Average Dave

The Lyrics

Up, Down, Left, Right, Left
Jump, Split, Heart Pump Chest
Slide, Slide, Shake the rest
I just cannot dance

Step, Step, move my hip
Robot, do the twist
Up, Down, slap my wrist
I just cannot dance

Can't do the tango
I fall on my knees
and I when I mambo
Most people point and they tease
I step on toes
Ouch Ouch Ouch
I step on toes

No Macarena
Cannot Chicken Dance
And the Electric Slide makes me rip my pants
It's kinda sad
Sad-Sad-Sad
It's really sad

You know I've got no groove
I have really bad moves
I'm really bad, bad at dance

Can't do the foxtrot
My Loco-Motion is bad
I can't even Pee-Wee Herman dance
No good at ballet
And my Congo's just sad
And my Time Warp is good for a laugh

Nooooooooooo!
You know that I can't dance

Nooooooooooo!
You know that I can't dance

Cha Cha, Crank That, Stand
Fall, Trip, Slam my head
Step, Step, fell down flat
I just cannot dance

Cannot Fandango
My legs don't move right
and then my jitterbug
just gets me in fights
Most hold their heads
What-the-hell
My moves they dread

No Mashed Potato
No Rumba, I'll sit
Not acrobatic enough to salsa I bet
It hurts my head
head-head-head
It hurts my head

You know I can't Samba
And you know I can't shuffle (Cause I just can't dance baby)
I'm really bad, bad at dance

My Waltz looks sickly
Can't even rain dance
Must admit, I'm really bad my friend
Can't do the Hustle
and my Bunny Hop's bad
Look at me, as I fail at dance

Nooooooooooo!
You know that I can't dance

Nooooooooooo!
You know that I can't dance

In-out, in and out
Shake it all around
Oops I just fell down
Can't hokey pokey

Here's directions Davy
Work it
Just shake you're whole body
Here's directions Davy
Work it
Damn you can't dance David

No Cabbage Patch
Cannot YMCA
No Hammer Time
I'm just no Beyonce

Voulez Vous danser avec moi si-vous plait
Can you help me
I can't help I can't dance

(I'm really bad at dance (repeat several times in background)
No I can't help I can't dance
(I fall down on my @$$)
I can't help I can't dance

I JUST CANNOT DANCE
(I fall down on my @$$)
I JUST CANNOT DANCE

Can't Roger Rabbit
and no Running Man
Even walking sometimes I look bad
I can't Jump On It
and I ain't got no back
And my Vogue-in' makes Madonna sad

Nooooooooo! (I JUST CANNOT DANCE)
You Know I cannot dance
(I JUST CANNOT DANCE)
Nooooooooo! (I JUST CANNOT DANCE)
You know I cannot dance

Shake Shake, drop, lets go
Shake hips like a pro
Oops, pop, new pant holes
You know I can't dance
This has been a Below Average Dave Production, All rights reserved.

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The parody authors spend a lot of time writing parodies for the website and they appreciate feedback in the form of votes and comments. Please take some time to leave a comment below about this parody.

Place Your Vote

 LittleLots
Matches Pace of
Original Song: 
How Funny: 
Overall Score: 



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Voting Results

 
Pacing: 4.8
How Funny: 4.9
Overall Rating: 4.9

Total Votes: 14

Voting Breakdown

The following represent how many people voted for each category.

    Pacing How Funny Overall Rating
 1   0
 0
 0
 
 2   1
 0
 0
 
 3   0
 1
 0
 
 4   0
 0
 1
 
 5   13
 13
 13
 

User Comments

Comments are subject to review, and can be removed by the administration of the site at any time and for any reason.

Matthias - January 24, 2011 - Report this comment
I'm impressed with the amount of dances you were able to work in here. Good song about dancing even though you never really embarked on why you cannot dance.
Below Average Dave - January 24, 2011 - Report this comment
I can't dance because I can't stop staring at Gaga's outfits :) JK, thanks Matty!
Old Man Ribber - January 24, 2011 - Report this comment
BADave - I'm possibly the only man in the universe who doesn't know Lady Gaga tunes. In this case, I don't need to know TOS. Matthias is right - you got them all and with the usual skill and wit. 5-5-5 for your verbal choreography! ;D
NorCalDaughter - January 24, 2011 - Report this comment
Leave those Bros alone, daughter ! . . . Leave cBros alone, daughter! " . . . but ~JJ~ they dance do well " ! !
TJC - January 24, 2011 - Report this comment
You got all the Right moves!
John Barry - January 24, 2011 - Report this comment
This parody is about me. Three five-steps!
Blaydeman - February 10, 2011 - Report this comment
(SOTM) Who cares if you can't dance? You can frikin write! And that's much better! Awesome job!
Mark Scotti - February 10, 2011 - Report this comment
(SOTM) 555 bad moves get you great things here!
Abbott Skelding - February 11, 2011 - Report this comment
SOTM : Nice work, but the pacing was a little off in some places...but great job!
Wild Child JIN - February 15, 2011 - Report this comment
SOTM: Here are three 5's to dance to your song. Awesome Job BAD! ;-)
Arwen - February 18, 2011 - Report this comment
SOTM...I thought this was fun...lots of dances to fail at...(until today I thought Fandango was strictly a site to buy movie tickets, haha).

I know that you record things, and in doing such, you can make pacing work for you...but I stumbled on pacing here quite a bit. Lots of great stuff, to be sure...but the pacing was a bit distracting, for me, anyway.
bobpiecheese - February 27, 2011 - Report this comment
(SOTM) I thought the pacing was perfect here, clearly timing is a problem for your dancing skills. Maybe you just have to stop wearing clown shoes to the club, I dunno. Fantastic work here Dave, 555!
EthanM - February 28, 2011 - Report this comment
I can't dance either. Technically I can dance a little but usually I shouldn't. But this isn't really about dancking skills as much as parody skills and I really liked this one.
Wendy Christopher - May 14, 2011 - Report this comment
Top job, Dave! I also can't dance, in spite of spending two years on a Performing Arts course, so I share your pain. But your skill with a parody renders the need to dance redundant anyway - 555!
Below Average Dave - May 15, 2011 - Report this comment
Thank you Wendy!
agrimorfee - May 28, 2011 - Report this comment
Hey Dave I stumbled across this one and have to say it is pretty damned good! Sorry to have missed it. 555
Below Average Dave - May 29, 2011 - Report this comment
Thank you Agri!

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