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Song Parodies -> "Cup O' Coffee"

Original Song Title:

"Paparazzi"

 (MP3)
Original Performer:

Lady Gaga

Parody Song Title:

"Cup O' Coffee"

Parody Written by:

the_conqueror_of_parodies

The Lyrics

When coffee orders get more complicated than they really need to be...
I can't work out what i-it's about
All I want's a good brew to shake my mornin' fugue
Untranslatable
Read this? I'm not capable
Mocha? Can't see if that's what I want
No description, jeez, it assumes I'm a buff
Of these bev'rage types
Do I want a half and light? I don't know that, buddy, I

I'm a simple man, a decent cup is all that I need
Cup o', cup o' coffee (yeah-hah)
"Would you like a cappuccino?" No, that's not what I mean
A cup o', cup o' coffee (yeah-hah)
Please don't roll your eyes
You're not helpin' my awkwardness, alright (yeah-hah)?
I'm no ignoramus, caffeine hit is all that I need
Cup o', cup o' coffee

Don't be a jerk, I truly don't know
Will this taste like hot tar if your fancy foam art
Turns out to offset
All sugar I implement?
Straight from the urn? That sounds like it'll burn
Won't answer what I even asked, cashier guy?
Forced to flog stuff, fine
This customer knows your plight, but this is dodge number five

I don't understand your fancy lingo, all that I need
Cup o', cup o' coffee (yeah-hah)
Café au lait? How the hell should I know what that shite means?
Damn cup o', cup o' coffee (yeah-hah)
I don't have the time
Those faux-Italian terms can go die (yeah-hah)
Could be real, but hey, a crash course in it's not what I need
Cup o', cup o' coffee

Don't need to hear this in stereo
Damn manager, I'm losin' all my hope
That I'll get what I want
White and two, said that ten times, bud

What's the closest thing you have to that? That's all that I need
Cup o', cup o' coffee (yeah-hah)
"Why didn't you say so?"? Must I repeat that "ten times"? Jeez
A cup o', cup o' coffee (yeah-hah)
I'll still pay full price
To make up for this white-hot rage of mine (yeah-hah)
Normally I'm patient, to get that, just guess what I need
Cup o', cup o' coffee

I was thinking about making this about the Razzies, but then I realised that it's likely pronounced to rhyme with "jazzy" as opposed to the longer "a" that Gaga sings the title word with, so I nixed that. Maybe some other time...

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Voting Results

 
Pacing: 4.5
How Funny: 4.5
Overall Rating: 4.5

Total Votes: 6

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