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Song Parodies -> "Hamburger Hell"

Original Song Title:

"Hold It Don't Drop It"

Original Performer:

Jennifer Lopez

Parody Song Title:

"Hamburger Hell"

Parody Written by:

Rex Ungericht

The Lyrics

You don’t know what you’re doin’
Use American cheese
I said mustard not mayo
A tomato slice please
A thin slice of onion
A bun with sesame seeds
Lettuce, don’t chop it, just top it
Pickles, the dill ones, the chilled ones

Everytime you try to cook
Hamburgers on the grill
You try your best but it’s no use
‘Cause you just don’t have the skill
Instead of eating
I would rather get dental drilled
I chew and swallow
Then head for the reflux pills


Oh I must be crazy
‘Cause I’m eating these charred disks that were meat
I think the condiment you used
Is some medicine for athlete’s feet
You think your cookin’ keeps on getting better every day
Oooh, I need to tell ya
I would rather eat Don Trump’s toupee


Oh my
(Oh no) Ouch
(I think) Pain
(I broke) I broke
(A tooth) A tooth
(Burgers) Hamburgers
(From hell) From hell, yow!

(Hamburgers? They’re murder! Gut churners, heart burners. Hamburger, I’ll purge ‘er)

Oh, we bought some patties of ground chuck
You turned them into hockey pucks
I ate ‘em cause I’m such a schmuck
Burger, it’s murder, heart burner
Burger, gut churner, just purge ‘er


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Matches Pace of
Original Song: 
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Voting Results

Pacing: 4.8
How Funny: 4.5
Overall Rating: 4.7

Total Votes: 6

Voting Breakdown

The following represent how many people voted for each category.

    Pacing How Funny Overall Rating
 1   0
 2   0
 3   0
 4   1
 5   5

User Comments

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littleCupCakes - April 10, 2008 - Report this comment
Sir Rex, loved the 'hockey pucks' description! But I must say that a burger is the easiest thing to broil ?!?!?
Agrimorfee - April 15, 2008 - Report this comment
(Artistry) To me, two different things are going on with this parody...the chorus (which while funny, never changed) listing burger ingredients, while the verses concerned poor quality cooking. Those 2 worlds of thought didn't gel well for me.
Rex - April 15, 2008 - Report this comment
Thanks LCC and Agrimorfee. Ag, I was going for the idea that the person working on the burgers had no ability to cook or dress them properly.
Matthias - April 15, 2008 - Report this comment
Agreeance with Aggy on this one Rex. The lazy way out is to put (Chorus) instead of switching up the chorus... So that's my big issue with this parody, I thought it was funny and all, but that irked me.
Rex - April 16, 2008 - Report this comment
Not sure that I agree with "lazy", more along the lines of "couldn't come up with five separate choruses about poorly dressing a hamburger by the deadline". :-)
Max Power - April 18, 2008 - Report this comment
That types of stuff can happen to anyone since many people often demands so much when it comes to writing parodies.
Matthias - April 20, 2008 - Report this comment
I can respect that I suppose.... But you didn't have to use the chorus just about dressing a hamburger, you could have went into cooking, angry customers, angry managers, huge lines, ect, ect, ect.... But like I said, I like the rest of it, and the idea, but that part irked me.
Below Average Dave - April 20, 2008 - Report this comment
Before leaving my comment, I have to say I have not yet read/voted on this parody. . .but wanted to say something. Repeating choruses isn't always a bad thing. As fans of recorded parodies will tell you, sometimes that makes it easier to learn the song or more catchy (particularly if the chorus is good). To date, some of my most popular recordings are ones that in contest here have or would bomb completely, so a repeat chorus isn't always a bad thing. . .
bobpiecheese - April 20, 2008 - Report this comment
(Artistry) I agree that the choruses could've been varied, but you kinda worked yourself into a corner with the very specific topic you chose. If you had, say, complained about fast food chains in general, then you would've had more material to work with. Unfortunately, I DKTOS, so that's all I really have to say. Funny, though.
Below Average Dave - April 24, 2008 - Report this comment
(Artistry) I have to say Rex, that this one doesn't seem like you had a full effort, perfect pacing will help you when I do the points for this round, but I have to be honest--this is not up to your usual dominance.
Invisible Boy - April 24, 2008 - Report this comment
I agree with some of the other comments here. It was a good idea.
I've been beaten into submission here for repeating choruses, so I try to vary them. I do, however agree,that sometimes repeating them can be best choice.
I think this one just needs to be developed more

P.S. Did anyone else notice that the bass line from this OS was "sampled" (shamelessly stolen) from an old Tavares turn called "It Only Takes A Minute Girl" ?

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