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Song Parodies -> "Contain"

Original Song Title:

"Escape"

 (MP3)
Original Performer:

Enrique Iglesias

Parody Song Title:

"Contain"

Parody Written by:

the_conqueror_of_parodies

The Lyrics

Tailors are there to tend to your every need. The problem comes when they see a need that isn't really there...
You can tuck, you can tie, but you can't contain my gut, gut, gut, gut
You can scrunch, you can tighten, you can't contain my gut

I don't like clothes, that treat me
Like my round shape isn't just right, sure, weight is high
Obese? Lies, the point that I've been tryna make
Is your take (your poor take) causes aches, so stop tryin'

No point in concealin'
Or tuckin' my belly away
These knots, I'm not likin'
Must you tuck and then tie? Cause you can't contain my gut
Dude, don't scrunch up and tighten, you can't contain my gut

No need to go and fetch clothes
That minimise my meagre fat, you twat
Cause it's not (no, it's not) what I asked for when I came in, man
But it seems you're convinced that it matters (n-no, n-no, yeah)

I'm real close to heavin'
Should know that'll leave a stain (on the floor, such a stain)
You douche, please stop tyin'
You may tuck and then tie, but it can't contain my gut
Though you scrunch and then tighten, still can't contain my gut

Ev'ry tuck (ev'ry tuck), ev'ry tie (ev'ry tie)
'Fraid they can't contain my gut (my gut)
When you scrunch (when you scrunch) so damn tight (so damn tight)
It still can't contain my gut
Seems I should go
But no-one tops your pricin', so I'm stuck

Need clothes for this evenin'
Rest are in the wash cause of stains (got a problem with stains)
A huge dick, I'm findin' (what I'm findin')
Cause you tuck and you tie when it can't contain my gut (can't contain my gut)
Would be unappealin'
To stretch this shirt across my frame (won't restrain my gut)
It's true that you're tryin'
But your tuckin' and tyin' just can't contain my gut (oh-oh-oh-oh)

Leave it, bud
Stop it, bud
Drop it, bud
Quit it, bud
Leave it, bud (so stop it with the tuck, yeah, stop it with the tie)
Stop it, bud (cause you can't contain my gut)
Drop it, bud (ev'ry single scrunch, they choke my innards tight)
Quit it, bud (dude, you can't contain my gut)
Leave it, bud
Stop it, bud (it's too snug, way too tight, see? You can't contain my gut, gut, gut, gut)
It's a lost cause to try, no, you can't contain my gut

This is kinda the inverse of "Can't Fit You", now that I think about it.

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Voting Results

 
Pacing: 5.0
How Funny: 5.0
Overall Rating: 5.0

Total Votes: 3

Voting Breakdown

The following represent how many people voted for each category.

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 5   3
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User Comments

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Matthias - October 24, 2017 - Report this comment
Not bad but there wasn't really much you could do with the "Can't Fit My Fat Gut Into These Clothes" theme so it got kind of repetitive but it was still a fun parody.

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