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Song Parodies -> "Without Speed"

Original Song Title:

"Without Me"

 (MP3)
Original Performer:

Eminem

Parody Song Title:

"Without Speed"

Parody Written by:

Ethan Mawyer

The Lyrics

This one needs a disclaimer: do not imitate the subject of this song, who would be in jail or worse if he were real. I do not agree with any of the opinions expressed in this song. Also, crystal patrick is made up but everyone else mentioned in this song is not. This took me forever to write - enjoy
Speedy Vice real pain no ethics

Two totalled parked cars on my last joyride, my last joyride, my last joyride

Two totalled parked cars on my last joyride, my last joyride, my last joyride


Guess who crashed
Crashed again
Speedy crashed
Hit a fence
Guess who crashed, guess who crashed, guess who crashed, guess who crashed
Guess who crashed, guess who crashed, guess who crashed, guess who crashed

I've been labeled a monster, cause nobody's frightened of Marshall no more
They think Speedy is much badder
Cause if they see Speedy, they empty their bladders
That´s because to my Jeep, crashes do not matter
You´d think that by now it would have had it
But no dents are in my car since it's so padded
And since crashing is something that does not faze me
When I'm passing on my floor is where I'm gazing
I'm sure there are lots of guys who hate me
Well I'm bad I'm gonna crash into old ladies
I know that you think you're nuts Slim Shady
But the fact is that I am much more crazy
So the DMV won't let me speed
Or let me hit trees so let me see
They said I couldn't drive since '93
But I feel so wimpy without speed
I´ll, drive 85, so I'll feel alive
Scratch that, I'm gonna drive at least 105
I've been boozing, cause I'm about to go crusin´
I just finished watching Seinfeld, hello Newman

If it looks like the car of me
Then everybody stay far from me
Cause I drive as if the road is empty
And I feel so wimpy without speed
Yeah If it looks like the car of me
Then everybody stay far from me
Cause I drive as if the road is empty
And I feel so wimpy without speed

Little dimwit, kid real far from timid
Embarrassed his parents just drive the speed limit
He shows that being dumb is infinite
Since one day he will cause a collision and yell sh#t!
A fender bender, to me it's splendor
Except he stayed where he was, and it will render
Him carless, until that kid turns twenty-one
He is done for a while regarding him having fun
If I was in his place, I would have fled the site
Indifferent to that other driver's plight, yeah that is right
Cause I'm bad, ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha
Screws fell out of my head now I am completely gaga
I'm insane, and do not even have one single moral
Don't care if they spill oil, kill all the coral
I'm quite malicious, I like breaking dishes
Dead fishes, are in my secret wishes
Missus, you're much too slow
And that pisses me off a lot as you know
My loud disses are going to show
That we'll crash, you're smashed, and off I go

If it looks like the car of me
Then everybody stay far from me
Cause I drive as if the road is empty
And I feel so wimpy without speed
Yeah If it looks like the car of me
Then everybody stay far from me
Cause I drive as if the road is empty
And I feel so wimpy without speed

A tisket, a tasket I go tit for tat wit
Anyone who says my car's a gas pit
Crystal Patrick, I sure didn't ask it
take your opinion back to Alaska
And Nader, you can get choked by Vader
You 68 year old tree hugging man, later
Now in your wall there's a big crater
Hate ya, Nobody cares about maples
Unstable, that's what they say I am
I think there are people who want me to fry, man
Paranoid, thought I'm watched with a spy cam
Ever since Thailand was no longer Siam
And sometimes well I decide
That I am going to drive on the wrong side
So that must mean I want to die
No it will be a real fun ride
I'm not the first guy to drive with poorness
I am the worst guy since Nervous Norvus
To handle steering so recklessly
And do things to make the roads messy
(Hey) I'm a driver that irks
Everybody who is on their way to work
I don't cause 'bout the tickets that I receive
I would feel so wimpy without speed

If it looks like the car of me
Then everybody stay far from me
Cause I drive as if the road is empty
And I feel so wimpy without speed
Yeah If it looks like the car of me
Then everybody stay far from me
Cause I drive as if the road is empty
And I feel so wimpy without speed

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 LittleLots
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Original Song: 
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Voting Results

 
Pacing: 4.2
How Funny: 4.3
Overall Rating: 4.3

Total Votes: 30

Voting Breakdown

The following represent how many people voted for each category.

    Pacing How Funny Overall Rating
 1   1
 1
 0
 
 2   1
 1
 2
 
 3   3
 4
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 4   10
 6
 6
 
 5   15
 18
 17
 

User Comments

Comments are subject to review, and can be removed by the administration of the site at any time and for any reason.

DarkLord - May 26, 2003 - Report this comment
This Is Amazing!
dark dude - June 12, 2003 - Report this comment
you should send it to weird al
Tone-Def - June 12, 2003 - Report this comment
thanks darkdude but weirdal doesnt take submissions. I'd record it myself if i could find a decent free midi of the original... or maybe once i actually get a paycheck this summer (1st comes tomorrow) i'll invest the 17 bucks for a professional midi
mike - November 22, 2010 - Report this comment
sweeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeet

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