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Song Parodies -> "Foul Mouthed Me"

Original Song Title:

"Without Me"

 (MP3)
Original Performer:

Eminem

Parody Song Title:

"Foul Mouthed Me"

Parody Written by:

Red Ant

The Lyrics

DKTOS? Original video available here. I'd like to thank comedy such as The Aristocrats for inspiring this, as well as HP for making very sturdy keyboards, particularly the "Shift" and "8" keys...
"Blome E. Tweiss - fake name, harsh lyrics!"

Two trailer trash wh**es who offer a ride
All for a five, mouths open wide
[ah!, (d***-a-d***-d***...), ah!]

Used trailer trash wh**es are batting thier eyes
Look at my five, laugh at my guy!
[bah!, (not much d*** d***...), bah!, [Boo!]
Sluts!]

Guess who's back . . .
Back again . . .
Antman's back . . .
To offend! . . .
Talks of crap, praises crack, sells kids smack, tortures cats,
tossed jim-hats, this and that, yes, I'm bad....
(Hummer, humping, err, humming part)

{lights up a joint}
Someone started a rumor -
- "there no bloody humor in cursing, you bore!"
It's so crazy, my wild grammar? {yeah!}
Hell, if you want crazy, s*** is what I'll hand ya!
A little piece of me, pissed off with no manners
A warning this isn't fit for your grandmas
Say your shocked when I yell "FOCK"? That's thin-skinned, kiddo
'snot the Bible that I am annihilating
Ca(i)n, I mock when I'm Abel, vi'lent violating! {yay!}
So sick of my song, but while it's playing
You step back and do a dance that smile is staying
You think I await a trial in Hades?
Please, don't keep the insane asylum waiting!
See, the FCC's afraid of me
'cause I streamed more pee than R Kelly
Howard Stern could learn some new words, obscene
When I talk so filthy, foul-mouthed me!
So, love on and live, hug all and kiss? {pfft!}
F*** that!, suck on her ***t, and b***er her kids!
Don't get pissy
..When I rap s*** in this ditty-
-'cause you know it's f*****' awesome
D***, I'M WITTY!

Now this looks like the song for me
To shout out sev'ral obscenities
'cause we need a little vulgarity
So God d*** [oh man!] pro-fanity!

I said this looks like a hit indeed
So everybody will b**** at me
But we need a little indecency
And it's so d***** funny - talk unclean!

Killin' horses, skull f*****' their corpses
Look gorgeous in Georgia performin' abortions
Went car jackin' and wreckin' some Porsches
'til someone got pissed off and said "Come on, no more S***!!!"
My commentary? "Someone just dared me!
I'm quite a 'people person'" {psych!} I'm evil and scary!
Red Devil, and one whose mad level surpassed
Saddam's acts, too bad he didn't get killed on a rack! {snap!}
Young boys and pastors, everyone's after me!
I use all these asterisks when I risk my a**, you see?
Yeah, I'm bad! (fap-fa-fa-fa-fa-fa-fa-fa-fa-fap) { j**zed! }
Sick: parent's dilemma. Rude ta them, the man's worse than Eminem!-
-I'm not Bart, there's no Principle Skinner
A sinner by invention, back with a winner
I've never resting, the death bed's protesting!
Requesting god Cardiac arrest me! {missed!}
Test me? Convention leaves
Breed dissention, soon as someone questions me
Fear my vengeance, 'cause eventu'lly
I'll screw them **** **** - who censored me?!

Now this looks like the song for me
To shout out sev'ral obscenities
'cause we need a little vulgarity
So God d*** [oh man!] pro-fanity!

I said this looks like a hit indeed
So everybody will b**** at me
But we need a little indecency
And it's so d***** funny - talk unclean!

I rip gits and half-wits, and flow piss in caskets
"Man, this sod is rude!" Please, go kiss my assets!
Missus Fat B*tch - you should get that snatch stiched
We could use sev'ral less misfit slack kids
Unholy? But a Priest, *once*, fun-holed me
I should have got Ted "The Meth" Haggard to b*** me
They won't own me, I'm too bold, can't slow
Stand closer - nobody listens to Ant though!
My rant flows -
- Envisioned opinions,
But I'm sharin' this fun list. One with some symptoms:
I sling c** like Gene Simmons in a bim, dumb
"Incomin' from Tourette?" I GAVE HIM HIS SYNDROME!
{twitch!}
Well sometimes a song's extreme
'cause not everbody wants cute comedy
The balls on me, uncalming seas
Appalling? Please! You can't con thieves!
Say your eyes are stinging, your ears are ringing?
Heard what I'm singing, I got you thinking!
For you to question "what is filthy?"
My view is, yes, some smut is healthy!
{Nay!} Just a construct of words
That I threw together might offend's absurd
The real problem's how many dish "morals", free
'cause I've seen them acting worse than me!

So this looked like a lock for me
To point out staggering hypocrisy
Hope the open minded rock on with me
While the most offended foul-mouth me!

I said this looked like a job for me
Not everybody will follow me
But you need the little dark side of me
And I'm never ending foul-mouthed me!

(hum out a bunch of warm cheery thoughts)

SH*T!
copyright 2007 Jack Fletcher

Your Vote & Comment Counts

The parody authors spend a lot of time writing parodies for the website and they appreciate feedback in the form of votes and comments. Please take some time to leave a comment below about this parody.

Place Your Vote

 LittleLots
Matches Pace of
Original Song: 
How Funny: 
Overall Score: 



In order for your vote to count, you need to hit the 'Place Your Vote' button.
 

Voting Results

 
Pacing: 4.5
How Funny: 4.4
Overall Rating: 4.5

Total Votes: 31

Voting Breakdown

The following represent how many people voted for each category.

    Pacing How Funny Overall Rating
 1   4
 4
 4
 
 2   0
 0
 0
 
 3   0
 1
 0
 
 4   0
 1
 0
 
 5   27
 25
 27
 

User Comments

Comments are subject to review, and can be removed by the administration of the site at any time and for any reason.

Matthias - April 27, 2007 - Report this comment
Blasphemy!!!!! To hell with you!!!!! Now look at my five, five, five
Kristof Robertson - April 27, 2007 - Report this comment
Flocking hell!!!! This is a monster of a parody, Jack, and a little frightening, to tell you the truth. But after I copiously wet my pants, I decided to award you big 5s. Now, fork off! ;-)
Johnny D - April 27, 2007 - Report this comment
When it comes to ***fanity, you're a pro! ;-)
Ethan Mawyer - April 27, 2007 - Report this comment
I was planning on trying to write a parody (under my own name) reacting to the oversensitivity on the message boards lately, but after this I don't feel the need to do so anymore. And I know how hard this OS is to parody, having done so myself over the course of several months originally and I may still end up making more revisions.
alvin - April 27, 2007 - Report this comment
don't know the sog but it was a fun read
Jonathan S. - April 27, 2007 - Report this comment
Not funny. All you get, my "friend" is 111 bronx cheers. (Bronx cheer means "fart")
Kristof Robertson - April 27, 2007 - Report this comment
Hey Jonathon S: You may not like the parody, but to give it a 1 for pacing smacks of spiteful pettiness. This matches the OS near perfectly, and deserves nothing less than a high 5 for pacing. I'd suggest next time actually checking out what the voting categories mean, and voting fairly regardless of your obvious tendencies for kneejerk reaction. Nuff said
Tam - April 27, 2007 - Report this comment
This monster matches the OS pacing perfectly! I am now completely desensitized so I had to give nothing but 5's!!!! Good to see you back with a killer Red Ant!
AFW - April 27, 2007 - Report this comment
Positively, a funny negative
Ann Hammond - April 27, 2007 - Report this comment
what the h*** am I looking at? he he ;)
Red Ant - April 27, 2007 - Report this comment
Thanks Matthias, Kristof, Johnny D, Ethan, Alvin, JS, Tam and AFW.

Tam: You weren't completely desensitized before reading this? What has American media come to? ;)

Kristof: Only "a little frightening"? =) Thanks for coming back to bat for me, but if I may take a swing at this one...

Jonathan: If it were anyone else giving me the 1s, I'd be honored in a strange way: you are the first person to leave a written vote of 1s under his real name on one of my parodies. However, I already knew they were coming from you so there was no surprise. Tell me, what stung you the most about this parody? Lemme guess: realizing you are a hypocrite? See, I read the latest comments quite a bit and know that what you dispense is far more repulsive than anything I put in this parody. I find it ironic as a self proclaimed foul mouthed Atheist that, in the way I treat others on this site, I make a far better Christian that you do. PS: Bronx Cheer means "raspberry", or "booing", not "fart".
Jason - April 27, 2007 - Report this comment
I wouldn't have the courage to write something like this Red Ant. Great job though.
Below Average Dave - April 27, 2007 - Report this comment
HAHAHAHA. . .Red Ant, we need Whatfreaks back. . .so many F**ing D*** Asteriks, S***. Anyhow. . .You really know how to stand up for what you believe in, and since we generally agree on viewpoints--It's so much fun to read what I am thinking put into words so often. . .congrats on another brilliant performance
Jack Wilson - April 27, 2007 - Report this comment
WAwesome ,awesome job! 5s here!
TJC - April 27, 2007 - Report this comment
Appaulingly funny and monsterously bold, Red Ant! It's almost a new genre--
Ann Hammond - April 27, 2007 - Report this comment
I came back and I just feel like throwing you some 5's for boldness
Spoof-Man - April 28, 2007 - Report this comment
Sorry it was a really goood parody Red Ant but.... I hate to say this but...I CAN"T STAND EMINEM!!!! here's 5's for a good parody non-the less!
Adagio - April 28, 2007 - Report this comment
Wh** , Jack
Peter Andersson - April 28, 2007 - Report this comment
Such a warm, cuddly, friendly parody this... must be in a mirror universe. Loved the R Kelly joke too. :-)
Jonathan S. - April 28, 2007 - Report this comment
Red Ant, if you were a better Christian than me, you wouldn't be using 12 cuss words a minute. As for the pacing, the only reason I put a 1 there was because this parody is SO bad, I figured it didn't deserve any merit.
Below Average Dave - April 28, 2007 - Report this comment
Jonathan S. . .I have to ask this. .. How many true judges are there according to Christian beliefs? Aren't you judging Red Ant, Poomaster and probably now me and anyone else who thinks you are going a little overboard? Isn't that unchristian? I'm still yet to find where this listof cuss words that are suppossedly unchristian is, but regardless, isn't judging other people wrong? I don't judge you as a bad person--I'm not Christian, but I don't judge you because it's not my place to. . .and in my dealings with Red Ant, he doesn't judge me or my life the way you judge others opinions and religious followings. . .one true judge, is that no longer true?
Red Ant - April 29, 2007 - Report this comment
Thanks Ann (missed ya before - our posting times must have been too close), Jason, Dave, Jack, TJC, Spoof-Man, Pat and Peter.

Jason: When I first started out, I would have never written something like this either. Thanks!

Dave: Yeah, I have a few ideas that could only be posted over there. This one would still retain 8 asterisks though. Many thanks!

Jack W: Double awesome? That's freakin' awesome! Thanks!

TJC: "...New genre": that's my favorite comment of the year I think. Thank you!

Spoof-Man: I know a lot of people don't like Eminem, but thanks for checking out this one anyway.

Peter: In an alternate universe where Valkyries have conquered China, I'm sure it is. =) Thanks!

Jonathan: Funny thing is that by me asterisking every one of those words, you can only assume they are curse words. Some of them didn't need to be censored. I'm not going to BS you, they are curse words. However, don't pull that with me: I read your parody of Jessie's Girl. Care to explain the way you listed that one? (i.e., "Rick Springfield/Fr***in' A"). You have slammed this work for something you yourself do: curse. I could really care less about the 1s. BTW, if you were really Christian you wouldn't be slamming authors (particularly poomaster) with the words you use.
stuart mcarthur - April 29, 2007 - Report this comment
wow, excellent Jack! I read it to the OS, but got lost obviously (it goes so fast) but there are some great lines to go with the clever idea, and kudos for "fun-holed me" - LOL - 555
Jon S. - April 30, 2007 - Report this comment
The point of censoring that band was so I WOULDN'T be posting a cuss word. If I had wanted to cuss, I would've left the name alone. Plus, you''l notice none of the actual parody LYRICS are profane or feature detailed desciptions of distasteful subjects (like poomaster does).
LPG-Unit - April 30, 2007 - Report this comment
Beeped-out f-words are the thing in this parody - I would also like to thank Benq for the keyboard...but no! Well, at least they make good keyboards...
Agrimorfee - May 09, 2007 - Report this comment
(SOTM) This will rank high up there this month! Wow...what a brilliant piece of work...puerile profanity with sophisticated satire that I grokked from top to bottom.
McKludge - May 11, 2007 - Report this comment
(SOTM) I agree, rap songs like this are the toughest to parody becuase of the internal rhyming, I doubt I'll ever try one. And censoring when you really didn't have to adds to the humor (You want to do what to her kids? Butter them?)
HERE'S THE RECORDING! - May 11, 2007 - Report this comment
www.soundclick.com/bands/songInfo.cfm?bandID=663425&songID=5331004
Max Power - May 14, 2007 - Report this comment
SOTM - Who the @^&$ voted 1s on this %^&$?
poomaster - May 18, 2007 - Report this comment
Jin S. can eat my feces.
Jason - May 18, 2007 - Report this comment
Im trying to cast my SOTM vote, but inthe00s won't load for some reason. Is there a problem on it?
The Charnstar - May 19, 2007 - Report this comment
Holy Freaking Carp! The recording was AWESOME! You are an awesome rapper Red Ant, 5-5-5
Stephen Harrington - May 21, 2007 - Report this comment
555. ****ing funny parody.
bobpiecheese - May 24, 2007 - Report this comment
(SOTM) First: Slamming a parody because of rude words is kinda stupid. Second: Accusing someone of not being a better Christian is absolutely ridiculous. Third: Jonathon S. is up for a banning. Fourth: For once, I agree with poomaster. Fifth: Red Ant actualy managed to make this funny song even funnier, and credited the keyboard...I gotta say THAT WAS YOUR BEST PARODY EVER RELEASED!!!
Michael McVey - May 25, 2007 - Report this comment
I thought this was about Mancow Muller (lol).
stuart mcarthur - May 25, 2007 - Report this comment
(SOTM) this time I read it without the OS Jack, and didn't get lost! (go figure) - absolutely masterfully wrtitten, and I was about to pick out the same "holy/fun-holed me" internal rhyme as i did before - but the whole thing is very clever (and I;m thinking maybe I should have used asterisks too in mine - ah well)
Jason - May 28, 2007 - Report this comment
(SOTM) SOTM Material.
Johnny D - May 30, 2007 - Report this comment
(SOTM) See above!
Below Average Dave - May 30, 2007 - Report this comment
(SOTM) Irrelevant comment---you know what's funny about the video--I think Emeniem would make a good Robin in a Batman video. He's got the youth and everything--Your parody is amazing, you know that.
Raphaella So - May 30, 2007 - Report this comment
(SOTM) - lol
Mikey Squirrel - May 30, 2007 - Report this comment
SOTM- Another Eminem song, another long song. But a really well done effort, despite the f******' amount of asterisks. Great job Red Ant!
Cat - May 30, 2007 - Report this comment
(SOTM) Holy Crapoly, Batman! This is ASTOUNDING! Man, Jack, I think I might go so far as to call this my all-time favorite of yours. This was an extremely clever dissertation on the nature of cursing and a great argument for free speech! TMGLTM but ""Incomin' from Tourette?" I GAVE HIM HIS SYNDROME!" really stood out.
wannabemustangjockey - May 31, 2007 - Report this comment
SOTM - Your mother called. There's a truckload of soap on its way!
Kristof "Far Q" Robertson - May 31, 2007 - Report this comment
(SOT effing M) *&%$$£*^&&$%!!@::!!!!!!! You clever bass turd.....
Jack Wilson - May 31, 2007 - Report this comment
See above!
Ethan Mawyer - May 31, 2007 - Report this comment
(SOTM) see above
Red Ant - June 25, 2007 - Report this comment
Thanks Stu & LPG-Unit & Agrimorfee & McKludge & Max & Jason & Charnstar & Step-chan & Pieman & MM & B.A. Dave & Mikey & Cat & Jay & Kristof & Johnny D & Jack & Ethan.

Stu: As I said in PM, I'm glad you got a bit lost following the parody: it's what prompted the recording. =)

Aggy: Grokked is my new fave verb compliment! Thanks!

McKludge: That word would be "bugger". Though the internal rhyming is hard, I was proud to out-do Eminem in the third verse. Nailing all the 4 syllable end rhymes in the first was a pain, too. =)

Max: That would be JS and some "1" else.

The Charnstar: Thanks for checking out the recording and for the high praise!

Pieman: "...managed to make this funny song even funnier..."; big time compliment there! Thanks!

MM: Can't say I'm familiar with that name...

Jason: Almost. Thanks!

Stu: Maybe I should have followed your lead and not used asterisks, lol. If I may be slightly pedantic (instead of red ant-ic) for a moment, the rhyme you quoted is a triple: "Unholy/Fun-holed me". Glad you liked it though: I originally had "bung-holed me", which I was going to asterisk, but "fun-hole" sounder... sicker? Thanks, mate!

David: I would direct you to Spaff's "Life In The Bat Cave" for that thought. =) Thanks!

Mikey: It's not that long, neither is the OS. ;)

Cat: You should play "Bingo!" (well, when you get older anyway...). You nailed the interpretation as well as picked out my favorite line. Thanks!

Jay: That truckload arrived. Unfortunately, it was Ivory soap, which is only 99.44% pure, leaving me with plenty of room to continue on with bad language. Thanks, mom!

Kristof: I've never seen a pound sign used in place of cursing, but I like it. Far Q 2! =)
Phil Alexander - June 26, 2007 - Report this comment
Just been reading this, listening to BAD's recording - abso****inglutely brilliant, Jack. Nothing more to add.
white trash - July 05, 2007 - Report this comment
i dont kno ive seen better but i guess its ok
Red Ant - February 25, 2008 - Report this comment
Belated thanks to Phil ( I was singing this one, not Dave -it was my first recording) and white trash - thanks for the high compliment
Max Power - May 26, 2008 - Report this comment
Lol Jon's comment
Rex - May 29, 2008 - Report this comment
(Artistry) Wow, you really put your * on this one. 555 hot d***s.
Matthias - May 29, 2008 - Report this comment
F*ck man, just f*ck! How are we supposed to compete with this f*cking great peice of f*cking parody godliness. Seriously one of your best parodies, and without a doubt your best recording. I'm still waiting on the recording for "Prove Yourself" though, because that would be a kick-a*s parodist's theme.
bobpiecheese - June 04, 2008 - Report this comment
(Artistry) Holy sh*tballs, it's this b*****d again. Well, I've got no f*ckin' hope now. Have some 5's on the house anyway, ya sneaky ****.
Below Average Dave - June 05, 2008 - Report this comment
(Artistry) Well, this parody has been around, I have--uh--4 maybe 5 comments on it including a couple that weren't contest related, so I'm pretty sure you know how I felt about this parody.
Invisible Boy - June 05, 2008 - Report this comment
Fantasitc effort here RA. I think it IS funnier using the *** instead of actually writing the words. Also, it was a good idea to make yourself the main character, giving us a mental picture of a seething Antman rapping his way into out hearts.
Ethan Mawyer - June 05, 2008 - Report this comment
I've already commented on this, and even though the exact inspiration is somewhat dated now this is still extremely well-written.
Cody Slusher - April 11, 2009 - Report this comment
Pretty Good. Bad recording.
Below Average Dave - April 11, 2009 - Report this comment
Well Cody, I strongly disagree with you, I don't know what you expect from amateur recording parodists, I'd love to hear you record at the same quality that professionals do. You don't seem to realize how much work goes into a recording and are unrealistic with your expectations, as with other recording comments I've seen by you. It's not like you are paying for the recordings, so unless you can do better, I don't think anyone will take your comments very seriously, because you are wrong.
Red Ant - April 11, 2009 - Report this comment
Belated thank yous to all the folks who commented on this for artistry. And thanks too, Cody, though I'm curious about what aspect(s) of the recording you found "bad".

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