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Song Parodies -> "Write Some Different Women"

Original Song Title:

"Independent Women (Part 1)"

 (MP3)
Original Performer:

Destiny's Child

Parody Song Title:

"Write Some Different Women"

Parody Written by:

the_conqueror_of_parodies

The Lyrics

A call for more varied parts for female characters in movies, tv shows, the whole shebang. Heh, SHEbang, didn't even intend that.
Moody shrew
The ingénue
Ditzy teen, mom from 50's
Always those ones, c'mon, c'mon
Uh, uh, uh

Question: how come when I turn on TV
I find the male characters diff'rent and unique
Yet the token ladies I have already seen
At least a dozen times in the last week?
Question: why is it a very short list?
I'm feelin' quite annoyed if not pure pissed
That the "male asshole" trope has some variance
But when it's a woman, it devolves to "bitch"
A mouse brings a shriek? They've done it
The one shown cookin'? They've done it
At shoe stores lookin'? They've done it
I could recite the scenes before watchin'
She's overbearin'? They've done it
The nag who gives in? They've done it
The teen who's whinin'? They've done it
Who's seen all of these? We've seen all of these

All the women aren't written diff'rent
Copy-paste exactly
Ditzy bunny who's never funny
Copy-paste exactly
Homely mother? They've got you covered
Copy-paste exactly
Can't be crazy, they're only saintly
Copy-paste exactly
Female characters, they always end up trapped
Into a small handful of roles, it's crap
They're not in and of themselves completely bad
But it's the restrictiveness that's real sad

I'm aware exceptions exist
But not enough, at least from what I've glimpsed
Like the writers rolled a die to pick from just six
Age-old archetypes, can't they write women diff'rent?
Question: how much can the old clichés be mocked
In shows, movies and video essays and blogs
Before all this crap can start no longer showin' up
In all the types of media I read and watch
A bug brings a scream? They've done it
A trip while runnin'? They've done it
No brains or cunnin'? They've done it
In a vacuum, I'd be less sick of 'em
Skintight clothes wearin'? They've done it
A waist that nips in? They've done it
Some catty lyin'? They've done it
Most of what I see, same things what I see

All the women aren't written diff'rent (he-e-e-e-e-ey, he-e-ey-eeh-eeh-eeh-eeh)
Copy-paste exactly (oh-oh-oh-oh-oh-oh-oh-oh-oh-oh)
Wastin' money on shoes? Ain't funny
Copy-paste exactly (copy-paste exactly, lazy)
Always mothers, never blue-collar
Copy-paste exactly
Only crazy when horny, baby
Copy-paste exactly
Wish I had the time to run down all the stats
See how many shows have clichés intact
Have to look up how old the shows are and that
Is too much effort for me, I'll just rant

Say I just whine (shut up)?
Should shut it out (hell naw)?
It's hard when I watch stuff all the time
What should be easy (oh-ooh-oh-oh-oh-oh-oh-oh-oh)
Diff'rent women to see (oh-ooh-oh-ooh-oh-oh-ooh-oh-oh-oh-oh-oh-oh-oh-oh)
On small and silver screen (oh-ooh-oh-oh-oh-oh-oh-oh-oh-oh-oh-oh-oh-oh-oh-oh-oh-oh)
This is painful (oh-oh-oh-oh-oh-oh-oh-oh-ooh-oh-oh-oh-oh)

Whoa, all the women aren't written diff'rent
Copy-paste exactly
Always sunny, defers to hubby
Copy-paste exactly
Love their shoppin' for clothes and chocolate
Copy-paste exactly
Think I'm maybe exaggeratin'?
Copy-paste exactly
Ev'rything I just said until you get that
This is still a problem thanks to real hacks
Sure, this ain't the fifties, I won't argue that (oh-oh-oh-oh-oh-oh-oh-oh-oh-oh-oh)
But the parts for women still really lack
They could be well done, I'm not denyin' that
You should know the problem here by now, man
It's the lack of options that's gotten me mad
Been so much complainin' but what's changed? Jack

Ever wondered what Independent Women Part 2 sounded like? Well, it samples "Peabody's Improbable History" and part of the melody is that one circus tune, so it's probably better that you don't. But I just told you, so that occupies space in your brain now.

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