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Song Parodies -> "Nerd"

Original Song Title:

"Girl"

Original Performer:

Destiny's Child

Parody Song Title:

"Nerd"

Parody Written by:

the_conqueror_of_parodies

The Lyrics

Jocks invite nerd to a table. Totally well-intentioned...OR ARE THEY?!
Take a minute, ne-erd, come sit down
Befo-ore your face gets fla-attened
Think your fa-ace doesn't nee-eed the pain
But just let me co-onvince you that won't ha-appen, yeah-eah-eah-eah
We-e wa-ant you he-ere, you dork
There won't be any smashin' of your gla-asse-es
Because we've bee-een too ha-ard on you lately-y, true, bro-o
We're not gonna wa-alk over your a-a-arse, we're tellin' you-ou

Ne-erd, I swear that we ain't lyin'
Words we're speakin' aren't total fake ta-alk, du-u-u-ude
Ne-erd, an escape? Don't be tryin'
Cause we'll find ya in your basement cause we sta-alked you-ou
Ne-e-e-e-e-erd, on the wrong foot, I-I'm sta-andin'
For once, none of us here wanna hu-urt you-ou
Su-ure we'll hu-urt o-other ne-erds cau-ause we're je-erks
No-ot you-ou, no-o, you don't su-uck, dude

Sure, in the-e pa-ast, we've been pure dicks
Your specs, we loved to throw; we gave you we-edgies
Unrelentin' pricks, closed doors on your knob
A-And then the-ere were all the-e swi-irlies
But right now, we ain't joshin' you, we're all smiles
Because now deep inside, we do-o mea-ean it
These grins ai-ain't a lie-ie like that o-one time, ma-an
Part of a-a pa-ants-do-ockin' pla-an, we're tellin' you-ou

Ne-erd (ne-e-e-erd), we want you here for dinin' (a little sna-ack)
We're just needin' someone new to ta-alk to-o-o-o (someone with brai-ains fo-or a-a cha-a-a-a-a-a-ange)
Ne-erd, just cause we sent you cryin' (you ran straight to home cryin' from school)
Home that one time by tellin' the school you lo-ove Sue-ue (she was ri-ight there, true)
Ne-e-e-e-e-erd, we can see your swea-eat fly-yin'
Your brain thinkin' of ways we can hu-urt you-ou (a list ten miles lo-o-o-o-ong)
We-e won't hu-urt you-ou, dumb ne-erd, ma-ay be je-erks
But-u we-e do-on't wanna pu-unch you (oh-oh-oh, ne-e-erd)
Ne-erd, there ain't no trick we're tryin' (ain't a fast one we're try-yin')
To let your guard down so we can so-ock you-ou-ou-ou (nail you right betwee-een your eyes)
Ne-erd, that shit's old hat, no lyin' (done before, we ain't ly-yi-in')
There's no fun in doin' stuff done tons befo-ore, du-ude (we prefer ori-igina-al tricks, du-u-ude)
Ne-e-e-e-e-erd, might've sent your tee-eeth fly-yin' (rea-eally fa-ar)
Just this mornin', we ain't gonna hu-urt you-ou (that was ages ago, ne-e-e-erd)
No-o ripped shi-irt, no-o "Nice pu-urse!", no-o dead ne-erd
No-ow we-e do-on't wanna cru-ush you, nerd

Nerd, wish you cou-ould loo-ook at yourself (silly nerd)
Bet you-our brain's go-oin' through he-e-e-ell (ne-e-erd)
"I have ne-ever (never) seen 'em (seen 'em) a-act li-ike thi-is" (you-our thou-oughts, ne-erd)
What you mea-ean, you've got so-omeone to help (ne-e-e-erd)?
You're a math tutor? Oh, we-e-ell (ne-erd)
We-e won't hu-urt you-our friend ne-erds (oh-oh-oh)
I-If you-ou o-owe us a lu-unch, dude (yeah, yeah)

Ne-erd, tell us one thing, no lyin' (you, oh-oh-oh)
Who's the lucky guy who's tutored by-y you-ou-ou-ou (who-o you helpin', du-ude? Are they a frie-ie-iend)?
Ne-erd, grades have always been flyin' (when we got fi-ives, you had te-ens)
Way above us, so who's got your help? He's no-ot scre-ewed (ne-e-e-e-e-e-e-erd)
Ne-e-e-e-e-erd, any reason you-ou're hi-idin'
Their name? Wait a minute here, is i-it Sue-ue?
We-ell done, ne-erd, mea-ean that, ne-erd, ma-ay be je-erks
Bu-ut tha-at's go-onna change rea-eal soon
Ne-erd, none of us here are lyin'
We've been thinkin' about our whole li-ife, du-u-u-ude
Ne-erd, we've found our daily tryin'
To make you need fresh underpants is just du-umb, true-ue
Ne-e-e-e-e-erd, understand if so-ome hi-idin'
To think it all over's what you nee-eed, du-ude
You-ou're a ne-erd, you-ou've been hu-urt by-y us je-erks
A-A fe-ew too-oo many ti-imes, true

Yep, totally are. Wasn't expecting the happy ending when I started writing, but I figured the "ZOMG it was a trap" was too obvious.

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