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Song Parodies -> "Faster, Rudolph! Kill! Kill!"

Original Song Title:

"Clocks"

 (MP3)
Original Performer:

Coldplay

Parody Song Title:

"Faster, Rudolph! Kill! Kill!"

Parody Written by:

Spaff.com

The Lyrics

[Piano intro]

You know how - Rudolph's story goes
Born with a phos - phorescent nose
Prancer's ho - mies call him names
Torch his ass - in reindeer games
But then
Nick's sleigh - burns out its light
Rudolph's schnoz - is huge that night
Sure it's
Sweet but - do you recall
It's not the way it ends at all

Singin'
Ru-oo-oo-oo - dolph!
Ru-oo-oo-oo - dolph!

[More piano]

Here's the verse - kids don't sing
Rudolph's rage - is worsening
Till he
Loads up - on New Year's Eve
And orchestrates - a killing spree
There are
Limbs flayed - and antlers stripped
Like some Tarantino script
Even
Tom Ridge - makes the scene
It's Terror Level Red and Green

Singin'
Ru-oo-oo-oo - dolph!
Ru-oo-oo-oo - dolph!
Ru-oo-oo-oo - dolph!
Ru-oo-oo-oo - dolph!

[Even more piano]

Ru-oo-oo-oo - dolph!
Ru-oo-oo-oo - dolph!

And nothing decks the halls
Like deer heads on the walls
A tree with sixteen balls

[Again with the piano?!]

Ru-oo-oo-oo - dolph!
Ru-oo-oo-oo - dolph!

North - Pole's -
Just a burnt lump of coal
North - Pole's -
Just a burnt lump of coal

North (Ru-oo-oo-oo-) Pole's -
Just a burnt lump of coal (-dolph!)
North (Ru-oo-oo-oo-) Pole's -
Just a burnt lump of coal (-dolph!)

[Last time with the #$%@ piano]

2003+ Spaff.com

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 LittleLots
Matches Pace of
Original Song: 
How Funny: 
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Voting Results

 
Pacing: 4.3
How Funny: 4.3
Overall Rating: 4.3

Total Votes: 6

Voting Breakdown

The following represent how many people voted for each category.

    Pacing How Funny Overall Rating
 1   1
 1
 1
 
 2   0
 0
 0
 
 3   0
 0
 0
 
 4   0
 0
 0
 
 5   5
 5
 5
 

User Comments

Comments are subject to review, and can be removed by the administration of the site at any time and for any reason.

Know 1 can hear you dream - December 23, 2003 - Report this comment
My deer belly is jingling! Cheers!
neminem - December 23, 2003 - Report this comment
Nice! You finally got a parody to this song, like you wanted, and a darn good job you did too.
Stockton (the author, not the Jazz player) - December 23, 2003 - Report this comment
Good one. I liked the part where your getting pissed at the piano solo. And you probably have the best rhyming ability on the site. 555.
AussieBullDog - December 23, 2003 - Report this comment
That'll learn 'em. Great job, Spaff.
Claude Prez - December 23, 2003 - Report this comment
I bet more people would know they knew the original if it had a damn chorus or something; this RULES as usual ("terror level red and green"--now where have I seen that before?)
Claude Prez - December 23, 2003 - Report this comment
Oh, yeah--great title
Spaff.com - December 23, 2003 - Report this comment
Thanks, Peter & Ozzy & the REAL Stockton!
nem: Wow - I'm impressed that you still remember my comment on your "Relativity." How cool of you.
C4P: Thanks x2. I started this in October on a "working vacation" - I even bought another copy of A Rush of Blood to the Head there in hopes of finishing this in time for Elves Gone Wild - but I gave up. Not only is there no chorus, but the meter is different in every frickin' line. (I was able to finish all of one line which, as you know, I used on my site.) But, hey, can you really blame Chris Martin? The choice of writing a chorus vs. nailing Gwyneth is a no-brainer.
Whatsamattau? - December 09, 2004 - Report this comment
Love it! Know what I'm gonna be singin this christmas...
Jake A Ralphing (Luke Brattoni) - December 09, 2004 - Report this comment
The night Rudolph went crazy... perfectly worded stuff here with your trademark wizardry of puns. The 16 balls on the tree had me cacking!
Spaff.com - December 19, 2004 - Report this comment
Thanx, Whatsamattau & Ralphing Luke. And I'm sorry I made you cack.
Jack Wilson - October 20, 2006 - Report this comment
One of the 495845908403489374394334 songs of yours I always loved but never voted/commented on! 555!
Spaff.com - November 10, 2006 - Report this comment
Local Celeb: Thank you. I'm not quite that prolific, however. You must be thinking of Malcolm Higgins.
Jack Wilson - November 24, 2006 - Report this comment
Youre welcome, oh yeah thats right!
Jack Wilson - December 24, 2009 - Report this comment
Was this gonna be on Elves Gone Wild?
Spaff.com - February 08, 2010 - Report this comment
That was the original plan but I didn't finish the lyrics in time.

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