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Song Parodies -> "Fear of Clowns"

Original Song Title:

"Speed of Sound"

Original Performer:


Parody Song Title:

"Fear of Clowns"

Parody Written by:


The Lyrics

Alternative song title - Coulrophobia. Nothing else to say, except I'm abnormally happy to finally write a parody of a Coldplay song. Don't ask why, I'm not really sure.
Oh Doc, why'd you bring me in?
Before you start talking, fill me in
You want to discuss why I
Freaked out at the movies last night?
How'd you get in the know?
I called you last night? That cannot be so
I bumped my head, maybe twice?
That would explain all of this bleeding, right?

Look, here's what happened last night
Girlfriend had dragged me along to Twilight
I hoped to catch some sleep
After watching some trailers for new movies
The Joker filled up the screen
That was when I started to scream
The ushers told me to stop
It'll be months before they heal up

I made noise and I made sounds
Tranquilizers calmed me down
And why? Because I have a fear of clowns
The buggers creep me out, they do
That is why I pass out near the grounds
Of any circus, whether old or new

Would you like to know why I
Freak out at clowns, even at a brief sight
It started when I was young
Heard that one before? Well, shut up
One night I happened to see
Film of a book by Stephen King
Tim Curry's still haunting me
Even when he's just Nigel Thornberry

I was two and so I cried
Dad didn't care, he was high
Since then I've harboured quite a fear of clowns
They really make me mess my pants
Seem so harmless making goofy sounds
But to me, they're sociopathic, man
Oh, don't give two shits 'bout their fellow man

That makeup, they look alien
Creeping me out again
Uncanny valley brethren
Would you help me conquer my fear of clowns?
I'm sure that name tag don't mean squat
Yeah, the one on your chest: "Doctor Clown"
But I am sure it will not mess things up
No, my eye twitches when my bowels act up
"Sociopathic" has five syllables. "So-see-o-path-ik".

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Matches Pace of
Original Song: 
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Voting Results

Pacing: 4.2
How Funny: 4.6
Overall Rating: 4.6

Total Votes: 5

Voting Breakdown

The following represent how many people voted for each category.

    Pacing How Funny Overall Rating
 1   1
 2   0
 3   0
 4   0
 5   4

User Comments

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Matthias - July 12, 2010 - Report this comment
Not too bad nice references to "Joker" and "It" but I really think that you could have belted this one out of the ballpark by doing more than joking about movies that have clowns in them but having a story about terrifying circus memories or at a Birthday party.
John Barry - July 13, 2010 - Report this comment
I just heard that fear of clowns (there's a technical term for it that I don't know) is one of the greatest fears that some large percentage of people have.
Below Average Dave - July 14, 2010 - Report this comment
I decided to look at this because Matthias accused me of stealing your idea (I hadn't seen your parody and as such didn't know you had a similar idea) I wrote mine about a specific clown, IT from Stephen King, and as it turns out yours is about clowns in general. . .and posted two days before mine . . .though it would have been yesterday with the updates and with the late posting, I truly hadn't seen yours, so I apologize for coming up with such a similar idea. . .
Agrimorfee - July 16, 2010 - Report this comment
(Artistry) I would like to see Dave's parody later for comparison's sake. But for here, this was pretty good. I agree with Matthias on the movie refs.
Matthias - July 16, 2010 - Report this comment
This one was pretty good when matched to the original song it really adds a certain something, I think this one would make a great recording.
Christie Marie M - July 19, 2010 - Report this comment
(Artistry 77) The clowns that are the most scary for me are Pennywise (which you mentioned from the Stephen King line), Killer Klowns from Outer Space, the clown from the Crispin Glover vid 'Clowny Clowny Clown' that sounds like a drugged up carnival song...and that stupid clown from Air Bud Norman Snively/Hound The Clown. To get over your fear of clowns, you could try beating them up like a group of 5 year olds at a birthday party, or call Crispin Glover who'll clip his head across the nose and hit that clown's head with the hammer ( LOL j/k. I myself are more shy of clowns rather than scared of them, though. I sure got a good laugh from this though. 555 balloon animals to cheer you up, how bout it?
Rex - July 29, 2010 - Report this comment
(Artistry) I love it when people use five syllable words when they're clowning around writing a parody. 555 clowns in a tiny car to you.
Below Average Dave - July 29, 2010 - Report this comment
I still fin dit ironic I came up with the same idea--see above. . .

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