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Song Parodies -> "Stubbly"

Original Song Title:

"Bubbly"

 (MP3)
Original Performer:

Colbie Caillat

Parody Song Title:

"Stubbly"

Parody Written by:

the_conqueror_of_parodies

The Lyrics

Part of my "Viva La Pop" self-challenge. An ever-growing beard. Because sometimes you just gotta write a parody about an ever-growing beard, you know? Enjoy!
I can't see your chin

You haven't sha-aved for a whi-ile now
It's longer than Gandalf the Whi-ite's now
I never thought I'd miss your stubbly fa-ace
But now I kinda want it back post-haste

Ev'ry day it grows
It's almost to your toes
Can still see your no-ose
The rest? Who-o kno-ows
If you don't decide
To hack it like vines now
Might reach a mi-ile
And that's a no-no

You said a bearded man is far from plain
But this has gone right out the window pane
A unique look's what you're searching fo-or
A burning hazard's what you got, dork

And still the thing grows
Way the hell past your toe-oe-oes
How long will it go-o
Who cares to-o know
Think it's reached that mile
It's just in a pile now
You don't look fi-ine
Just look like a dope

How can I make you shave
Get that hairball off your fa-a-ace
Razor buzz

Can't let that thing grow
Might get thoughts of its own
Let's hope that it wo-on't
'Twould be stra-ange, bro-o
It just hit four miles
In such a short time, wow
That just ain't ri-ight
That's not how beards grow

Da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da
Da-da-da-da-da-da-da
Ba-doom-ba-da-da-doom-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-oom
Mmm-mmm-mmm

A bit too la-ate for a cu-ut now
You're like a balding Chewbacca-a, wow
Don't try to move, you'll trip and do some harm
I guess the plan to wait it out is borked

On the ground, it falls
I just think: what the balls
Could cause it to gro-ow
This much, don't know
Say you drank a vial
Of Plant Grower? Just, why? Blow
My brain broke, ri-i-ight

That's stupid, so stu-u-upid, too stu-upid, you know?
It's stu-upid, way stu-upid, how dumb are you, bro?

Ooh, you-ou-ou drunk that? You schmo
Still it gro-ows
Near five-hundred mi-iles
Proclaimin': "where's my kni-i-ife?"

Sometimes I make references because they fit thematically (Gandalf, Chewbacca). Sometimes I make references because I feel like it (and I-I would walk foive hoondred moiles and I-I would walk foive hoondred moore...).

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Voting Results

 
Pacing: 2.3
How Funny: 2.3
Overall Rating: 2.3

Total Votes: 3

Voting Breakdown

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 3   0
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 4   0
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 5   1
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