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Song Parodies -> "Ejector Seat"

Original Song Title:

"Before He Cheats"

 (MP3)
Original Performer:

Carrie Underwood

Parody Song Title:

"Ejector Seat"

Parody Written by:

the_conqueror_of_parodies

The Lyrics

Part of my "United State of Pop" self-challenge. Some poor schmuck finds himself in a right pickle: trying to find the ejector seat before the plane he's in arrives at its appointment with the ground. Enjoy!
Somehow I've wound up in a jet plane about to crash
Gonna do way more than hurt me
Just wow, it's my first day at doin' this James Bond spy shtick
I'm doin' this poorly?
So now I'm freakin' in this fancy-lookin' cockpit
There's one button I should push, I know
But where'd it go-o-o?

I'm stuck in here just tryna find
One small itty bitty button or I-I'll die-ie
I've trained for this, but my memory-y
Has more holes than a sieve that's been slashed wi-ith a kni-ife
Can't think cause the plane's on fi-ire
How do I work the da-amn ejecto-or seat?

But how exactly will I do that
When nothin's labelled, just push buttons all randomly?
Hey now, a lack of labels is just
Askin' for a crap-load of trouble, don't you see?
So now, I'm wonderin' if this
Is some enemy agent plot, oh-oh no
Engine's 'bout to blo-o-ow

Pressed the big buttons first, hoped that might
Make all the important functions happe-en, ri-ight
All that did was made the engine cea-ease
Though I guess that could've bought me a bi-it more ti-ime
Engine won't blow up mid-sky-y
Won't help me find the da-amn ejecto-or seat?

Hope I find it before I'm a red smear in the di-irt
Also hope that I'm in the sea-eat
So it won't fly out without me-e
No-o-o, without me-e-e

I've pressed buttons red and black and white
All I've done is killed the air con and the-e li-ights
One button left, hope it works for me-e-e-e-e-e
I slam that button down hard, the seat spri-ings up fi-ine
But the cockpit's closed, oh my-y
One button opened it, I closed i-it, jee-eez
Knew there was more to the damn ejector sea-ea-eat
Damn ejecto-or seat
Oh-oh-oh

Apparently the real name of the ejector seat is the "ejection seat" but screw that, ejector seat sounds better.

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Overall Rating: 5.0

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Rob Arndt - September 23, 2014 - Report this comment
Interesting topic-555! Some history too: although ideas were around since WW1 and a few tests by the 1920s, it was German Junkers that patented the ejection seat in 1939 and started to test the seats with dummies the same year with the Ju-87 Stuka. Heinkel also pioneered the seats and installed one in the He-176 rocket plane. Next was the He-280 jet fighter prototypes with first emergency use in 1942. From there, Heinkel installed them in their He-219 Uhu night fighters and then the He-162 jet fighter of 1945. A total of 60 ejections were made by the Luftwaffe in WW2. German seats were compressed air and explosive charge types. At the end they were working on rocket types which led to Martin-Baker post-war types. Sweden had also pioneered since 1941. The Me-262 latter types were to be fitted with new ejector seats as well as the Me-163 Komet rocket interceptor and the tandem-engined Do-335 Pfeil. The Germans also proposed drop-down ejections and built an escape cell for the DFS-228 recon bird. For those interested, the Germans also had parachutes in WW1 with 55 successful bail-outs!!!
Patrick - September 23, 2014 - Report this comment
I vaguely recall an old movie "Bail Out at 43,000 Feet". I think it was about US experiments with ejection seats in the 1940's.
Rob Arndt - September 23, 2014 - Report this comment
The US didn't develop ejection seats in WW2 because they didn't believe in them. Only post-war did they get the German hardware and Intel with word of Britain's development under Martin-Baker and of Swedish SAAB for their J-21 fighter. The first US test for the USAAF was in 1946 involving a P-61B Black Widow. Sgt. Lambert was the volunteer...
Jonathan - September 23, 2014 - Report this comment
Carrie on then... 5's

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