12 o'clock, Tuesday lunch, and I'm waiting
To finally talk to a girl a little cooler than me
Her name is Nikki she's a waitress with a note pad
She calls me "dear", but I'm not quite sure what she means

And when she walks, with the celery and the onion rings
She doesn't notice me 'Cause

She's serving hot wings
Leaning over tough guys
Listening to "Blazin' please?"
And "18 Spicy Garlic" buys

It's like a bad movie, she's looking through me.
If you were me then you'd be, screaming, "Someone shoot me,"
as I fail miserably, Ordering the sauce all the weak guys want
It's the sauce all the weak guys want.

She likes them Smokey and those four make me cry
I've tried a few but I have to stick with Sweet BBQ
She rolled her eyes and called me a sissy saucer
She'll find out that I'm the best tipper she'll never have

And when she walks, with the celery and the onion rings
She doesn't notice me 'Cause

She's serving hot wings
Leaning over tough guys
Listening to "Blazin' please�"
And "18 Spicy Garlic" buys

She likes a burnt mustache
NASCAR Season Pass
Driving in an SUV
Will that make a man of me?

It's like a bad movie, she's looking through me.
If you were me then you'd be, screaming, "Someone shoot me,"
as I fail miserably, Ordering the sauce all the weak guys want
It's the sauce all the weak guys want.
It's the sauce all the weak guys want.
It's the sauce all the weak guys want.

There she goes again with a black vest on
Towards red lights in the air
She broke my heart I want to be sedated
I'll have to order my tenders naked

Now I'm eating hot wings
Trying to be a tough guy
Drooling through "Blazin' please�"
Acid tears in my eyes
I can't grow a mustache
and I ain't got no NASCAR pass
All I got's an Intrepid

It's like a bad movie, she's looking through me.
If you were me then you'd be, screaming, "Someone shoot me,"
as I fail miserably, Ordering the sauce all the weak guys want
It's the sauce all the weak guys want. (repeat 5x)