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Song Parodies -> "Single Mothers (Lose That Kid)"

Original Song Title:

"Single Ladies (Put a Ring on it)"

Original Performer:

Beyonce

Parody Song Title:

"Single Mothers (Lose That Kid)"

Parody Written by:

Tony Wiseguy

The Lyrics

All you single mothers (7x)

Now take those kids out.
Out of the house, over and out.
Like Spike Lee, do the right thing.
Yes I wanna commit, but I won't baby-sit.
Cuz other girls wanna get with me.
I lust for them, they lust for me.
But you're still in contention.
Just drank my beers, don't be Britney Spears,
And say you're very sorry.

Cuz if you wanna be my girl you better lose that kid.
If you wanna be my girl you better lose that kid.
Don't go and pull that Angelina Jolie s**t.
If you wanna be my girl you better lose that kid.

If you wanna be my girl you better lose that kid.
If you wanna be my girl you better lose that kid.
Sell him on ebay for the highest bid.
If you wanna be my girl you better lose that kid.

Kids give me the creeps, I play for keeps.
Even if they're fraternal twins.
Suck it up and bust a nut.
You'll always have me to thank.
I'm not a Magician, you've got an option.
Put them up for adoption.
Cuz you're gonna learn,
I'm saving my sperm,
For some girl who cares about me.

If you wanna be my girl you better lose that kid.
If you wanna be my girl you better lose that kid.
Don't go and pull that Angelina Jolie s**t.
If you wanna be my girl you better lose that kid.

If you wanna be my girl you better lose that kid.
If you wanna be my girl you better lose that kid.
Sell him on ebay for the highest bid.
If you wanna be my girl you better lose that kid.

Without kids you'll be free as a bird.
But child care's absurd.
I'm not mincing words, I can't be disturbed.
You're a girl who obeys me and praises me,
Who merrily and loyally tells her kids they don't belong.
You know its not wrong.
Say you want to be alone.
And let it be known,
Its time they were on their own.

All you single mothers (7x)

Put on your make-up.

If you wanna be my girl you better lose that kid.
If you wanna be my girl you better lose that kid.
Don't go and pull that Angelina Jolie s**t.
If you wanna be my girl you better lose that kid.
If you wanna be my girl you better lose that kid.
If you wanna be my girl you better lose that kid.
Lots of girls out there want a guy with a big ****.
f you wanna be my girl you better lose that kid.
All my lyrics are copyrighted.

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Voting Results

 
Pacing: 4.2
How Funny: 3.8
Overall Rating: 4.0

Total Votes: 5

Voting Breakdown

The following represent how many people voted for each category.

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User Comments

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BonnieB - January 22, 2009 - Report this comment
You know Tony, this will sound odd coming from a single Mom, but I found the song to be appropriately mocking of the os in the manner that the os is horribly sexist and crude in my humble opinion. An eye for an eye type of thing. The point, of course, is, it was also damn funny.
TW - January 27, 2009 - Report this comment
Thanks, Bonnie. I catch a lot of flak for my parodies but if they aren't funny then I hope they're shocking. I've changed the one line to read... Just drank my beers and I won't shed tears if you say you're sorry.

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