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Song Parodies -> "Television"

Original Song Title:

"Your Decision"

Original Performer:

Alice in Chains

Parody Song Title:


Parody Written by:

Red Ant

The Lyrics

It's been four years since I did an AiC parody, 4 months since I did any parodies, and about a day since I had a good, cathartic rant. Crappy TV draws fire this time. DKTOS? Listen to the song here.

Time to see what's on the news...
Left and right the slanted views...
On television...

It's yell-o-vision...

Six o clock, a murdered son...
Governments have come undone...
On television...


High ratings on a lack of taste
By design....
I think it's all a pointless waste
Of our time...

Did you cry right when they canned your favorite singer?
Or swear that girl was not a guy on Jerry Springer?
No thinkers


This may come as quite a shock...
You watch ads around the clock...
That's television...

Ad sell-o-vision...

I think our parents knew that these shows
Rot kids' minds...
The more they see, the less they grow
Go outside...
The television's...
Not supervision...

See a man on COPS, handcuffed and in a cruiser...
Vicarious, you'll never be the Biggest Loser...

No uses...
copyright 2010 Jack "Red Ant" Fletcher

Your Vote & Comment Counts

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Matches Pace of
Original Song: 
How Funny: 
Overall Score: 

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Voting Results

Pacing: 5.0
How Funny: 4.9
Overall Rating: 4.9

Total Votes: 15

Voting Breakdown

The following represent how many people voted for each category.

    Pacing How Funny Overall Rating
 1   0
 2   0
 3   0
 4   0
 5   15

User Comments

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AFW - July 22, 2010 - Report this comment
Drums, sums, and bums it up right..television is not what it should, or could be...or even, nowhere near as good as it used to be..but it still makes a good night light...good to see ya' back, Red
Matthias - July 22, 2010 - Report this comment
About dang time you wrote another parody! Stay around for awhile this time, Won't you?
Andria - July 22, 2010 - Report this comment
Good job, and there's a reason that there are very few channels I watch on TV, many of which made their way into your parody. 5s.
LadyLaVida - July 22, 2010 - Report this comment
Lord L'Ant Rouge, while it's good to hear you again, Sir, why are you one of those millions that actually ' P A Y S " for this type o' garbage ? ? ?
2Eagle - July 22, 2010 - Report this comment
At least the Simpsons is still worth watching. Otherwise, I hunt for re runs of my favorites on cable - or buy them on DVD.
ReRunHuntress - July 22, 2010 - Report this comment
I do that while at my sister's home/Giant Sreen TV . I love to watch dearBrucie & Cyb a la '80's . . .
Red Ant - July 24, 2010 - Report this comment
Thanks everyone, good to be back. LadyLaVida, I have bundled TV/Internet/Telephone, so the TV is basically free vs paying 2 diff companies for phone and internet. As bad as TV is, Verizon landlines here are useless. There are a few good shows, but I often go weeks w/o watching TV.
carly_carlz - July 24, 2010 - Report this comment
Amen, Red Ant. TV is just nothing quality anymore. I mean seriously: Hannah Montana, Jersey Shore, and the Bachelorette? Puh-leez. I wish MTV still played music, but that was WAYY before my time. I wish I could give you 6's but then that would equal 666, and I don't like that at all, so 555.
I Remember When TV meant Something - July 24, 2010 - Report this comment
Do you remember sitcom shows, crime dramas, MTV music 24/7/365, News U Could Use - no SCREAMING sensationalistic sleaze. Now it's Rupert Murdoch, Rubbish Limberger and other pukeheads SCREAMING at us, rigged "reality" shows, rigged "talent" idol shows and LOTS of T & A to distract you while crooked politicians neglect and create crises and turn war into gladitorial sport contests. When it gets too much, just do what Led Zeppelin used to do - toss the set out the window and watch it bust apart! Yaaaay!
LaVidaDiva - July 27, 2010 - Report this comment
Of course, L'ANT Rouge, Lord VeriZon, you go weeks without . . . . yeah, right yeah !
MrMacphisto - August 06, 2010 - Report this comment
Great job on a great song! :)
Matthias - August 09, 2010 - Report this comment
This one wasn't bad. There were a few good references and I liked the line: "Or swear that girl was not a guy on Jerry Springer?" but there weren't many killer lines in this one Jack. It wasn't bad but it wasn't anything to write home about either.
Bilbopooh - August 09, 2010 - Report this comment
Yup, lots of crummy stuff on TV these days, and now that LOST is over we've pulled the plug on our cable. Though I think there are still a couple shows worth popping over to Hulu for; planning on watching the Friday Night Lights finale there tonight. Anyway, well done!
Abbott Skelding - August 10, 2010 - Report this comment
SOTM: Nice work, never really cared for AiC that much, but this was an excellent FU towards the lack of quality TV out there! 555 more channels for you!
guy - August 13, 2010 - Report this comment

I have several hundred channels on my cable and many times there is nothing worth watching. This is what you call "Unwell-o-vision". I like the use of that word. Well done Jack.
Peter Andersson - August 15, 2010 - Report this comment
Welcome back Mr Ant! Good pacing here on the parody but I'm with Matthias on funny, at least as far as a contender for SOTM goes. As a fellow AiC fan I'm surprised how much the new singer manages to sound like LS, the new album is quite good, though I would have prefered them to go back to the sound of Dirt rather than to pick up from Tripod, the least good of their three albums IMHO. So what's your favorite song on it (the new one that is)?
Mark Scotti - August 15, 2010 - Report this comment
SOTM This goes well with my SOTM entry, as mine is about a GREAT T.V. show....
Andria - August 17, 2010 - Report this comment
(SOTM July 2010) Voted once before, still a great read.
cg - August 20, 2010 - Report this comment
huge alice fan----what is this ur decision song??im having trouble placing it---- now if u cried out to god saying blow up television that would be creed who blows and tried to immitate alice-- - al yank luvs tv parodies- ur gunna lose ur mind watchin tv they told me- turn off that oprah winfrey show!
Below Average Dave - August 27, 2010 - Report this comment
I had no trouble pacing it. . .I'm just glad to see you around again. . .hope its not the last time I see you for awhile. I agree with the opinion you present . . .
Red Ant - August 28, 2010 - Report this comment
Hey thanks everybody. Peter, either this one or All Secrets Known. cg - AiC has a new CD as of 2009, "Black Gives Way To Blue". It's quite good, much better than Jerry's solo work or, as Peter mentioned, Tripod.
bobpiecheese - August 29, 2010 - Report this comment
(SOTM) I knew there was a reason why I don't watch TV anymore, besides the obvious "couldn't-be-arsed-moving-away-from-my-laptop": there's sod all good on! I did a parody to that effect a while ago, in fact. That said, great to see ya back, Antman, hope to see more awesome stuff from you. 555 for this parody!

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