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Song Parodies -> "Online Shop"

Original Song Title:

"Candy Shop"

 (MP3)
Original Performer:

50 Cent

Parody Song Title:

"Online Shop"

Parody Written by:

the_conqueror_of_parodies

The Lyrics

Dude recommends his method of obtaining necessary and not-so-necessary items to other dude. Enjoy!
Yeah
Uh-huh
So addictive

I'm browsin' through the online shop
Get a week's groc'ries in one pop
Love them, 'cause I can shop
But without any lit'ral drop, whoah
I really love the online shop (yeah)
Avoid all the little snots (uh-huh)
Damn kids who always scream a lot (c'mon)
Don't have to deal with them, it rocks, whoa

I've been browsin' all day, so much on offer
Tad suspicious the way I'm throwin' away dollars
Don't worry I can still pay, no debt that I can't settle
Got a cash stash once wasted on petrol
Can spend that now, payment's down on some roof shingles
The process is simple, kinda like Kindle
Just takes one click to add to your cart and bingo
You've just ordered yourself a double-album of disco
Or a pogo stick, or some fresh lobster
Whatever you need, won't have to leave your sofa
Well, except to answer the door when it starts knockin'
Teleporters don't exist yet, so there's still a driver
Got boxes to lift all of the random shit
That you ordered really quick off of the internet
Wouldn't that be great, buddy? I know it is, man
It cuts traffic from any shoppin' plan (ha ha)

I recommend the online shop
For any bus'ness that has one
So simple, hard to stop
Wastin' all of the cash I've got (woah)
I love to use the online shops
Won't have to move from my spot
And I am almost out of scotch
I'll put an order for a lot (woah)

I need some food (need some food)
Don't want to move (don't want to move)
I don't need to (don't need to)
I'll just keep on clickin' through (oh yeah-eah-eah)

You could call me lazy, that I know
Revel in my slackitude, afraid it's so
But you shouldn't follow my lead, I implore
It's just an option that you might've missed
This method ain't perfect, for example there's a charge for shippin'
And it seems the price for that is always shiftin'
Not quite economic, idiotic is somethin' I swear I'm not
But I haven't researched that detail a lot
But please don't write off all my shite
A bad example is what I am, don't mind
That description cause that's really what I'm like
Not just for this, though, in ev'ry part of life
But just cause I'm suckin' at this online shoppin'
Doesn't mean you should disregard the option
It's the anti-time-waste, bargain after bargain, it rocks
And I can show you testimonies from folks who aren't just slobs

So come on, try an online shop
Could buy important things like socks
Or crap for tabletop
RPG's, I won't judge a jot (woah)
There are a lot of online shops
They're like Pringles, once you pop
You'll soon find that it's hard to stop
Restraint, that thing that I don't got (woah)

Please consider the online shop
Don't be like me, a total clot
And buy all the things, stop
I know that you're a clever clogs (woah)
If you succeed at online shops
With a pencil, I will jot
Down how you didn't fail a lot
Hope I can fix my life, would rock (woah)

Man, it's been 10 years since I last parodied a full-on 50 Cent song. That's, like, nostalgia or some shit. At least it would be nostalgic if I wasn't fully aware that I kinda sort totally sucked back then. Hence why I re-parody songs I did back then every 100 parodies, to make up for my former ineptitude.

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Voting Results

 
Pacing: 3.4
How Funny: 3.4
Overall Rating: 3.4

Total Votes: 11

Voting Breakdown

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    Pacing How Funny Overall Rating
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 2   1
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 3   1
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 4   1
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 5   5
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