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Misheard Song Lyrics -> Stories -> Van Halen

Misheard lyrics (also called mondegreens) occur when people misunderstand the lyrics in a song. These are NOT intentional rephrasing of lyrics, which is called parody. For more information about the misheard lyrics available on this site, please read our FAQ.

This page contains a list of the songs that have stories about their misheard lyrics submitted.

Song names are sorted by first letter, excluding A and The. This is sorted by song title only, not by song title and performer. So if two different performers preformed the same song, you'll see misheard lyrics for both on the same page (provided the song title was spelt the same both times, and misheard lyrics have been submitted for both!).


1984 album at Amazon.com
Van Halen's, "Ain't Talkin' Bout Love"
The Misheard Lyrics:
I have a loose lady.
The Real Lyrics:
I heard the news, baby.
The Story: Yes - have thought that was what it was until a month ago when I heard Hagar sing it. - Submitted by: Richie
Van Halen's, "And The Cradle Will Rock"
The Misheard Lyrics:
Have you seen Junior's grave?
The Real Lyrics:
Have you seen Junior's grades?
The Story: I thought David Lee Roth was asking about Junior's grave because Junior had killed himself and everyone should be ashamed that his grave wasn't well-tended. Whatever. I'm an idiot! - Submitted by: Kate Garrenson
Van Halen's, "And the Cradle Will Rock"
The Misheard Lyrics:
Abusing Junior's Grades
The Real Lyrics:
Have you seen Junior's grades?
The Story: I've been listening to Van Halen for 30 years and today I was listening to "Women and Children First" and went ahead and posted "Abusing Junior's Grades" on Facebook as my status only to have a friend correct me. I re-listened closely, It was like hearing to the song for the first time again... - Submitted by: Martin Fernandez
Van Halen's, "And the Cradle Will Rock"
The Misheard Lyrics:
And the cradle will rock
Yes the cradle, the cradle will rock
And I say lockjaw
The Real Lyrics:
And the cradle will rock
Yes the cradle, the cradle will rock
And I say rock on
The Story: I was chatting with my husband, asking him if he could remember any old Van Halen songs, when he belted out this misheard chorus. I thought it was funny, and wondered what on earth lockjaw had to do with teen angst.... - Submitted by: Karen Stanley Grigg
Van Halen's, "And the Cradle Will Rock"
The Misheard Lyrics:
And when some hopeless kid skids down
They want to drum it but they found
They say we seen you naked boy
Naked boy
The Real Lyrics:
And when some local kid gets down
They try and drum him out of town
They say, 'You coulda least faked it, boy.'
Faked it boy
The Story: The cause was buying a cassette tape from a friend who copied it from a Van Halen tape that had been played 5,000 times before he dubbed a copy for me for a dollar. It wasn't MP3's back in the '80s kids! It ALL sounded like amps being dragged through mud. - Submitted by: azchurch
Van Halen's, "Dance the Night Away"
The Misheard Lyrics:
Have you seen her? Some kinda pretty
The Real Lyrics:
Have you seen her? So fine and pretty
The Story: Either way, song that was playing when I met my wife of 16 years. - Submitted by: mr
Van Halen's, "Everybody Wants Some"
The Misheard Lyrics:
You can't get a medic on a subway line.
The Real Lyrics:
You can't get romantic on a subway line.
The Story: What I thought until I found a video with the lyrics - Submitted by: e
Van Halen's, "Get Up"
The Misheard Lyrics:
Make your d*** so hard.
The Real Lyrics:
Making things so hard
The Story: I actually thought this song was about 'getting it up', rather than about not letting things get you down. Oops. - Submitted by: Ab
Van Halen's, "Hot For Teacher"
The Misheard Lyrics:
Got it made, got it made, got it made
I rocked the teacher.
The Real Lyrics:
I've got it bad, got it bad, got it bad
I'm hot for teacher.
The Story: I bet a co-worker five bucks and lost it. Dang! - Submitted by: Nate
Van Halen's, "Hot For Teacher"
The Misheard Lyrics:
I brought my pants home. Gimme somethin' to ride on
The Real Lyrics:
I brought my pencil. GImme somethin' to write on
The Story: Always thought they sang that on purpose - Submitted by: aapje
Van Halen's, "Hot For Teacher"
The Misheard Lyrics:
I got it made, got it made, got it made
I'm Arthur Treacher.
The Real Lyrics:
I've got it bad Got it bad Got it bad I'm hot for teacher
The Story: Arthur Treacher's was a fast food fish restaurant. - Submitted by: Andy
Van Halen's, "Hot For Teacher"
The Misheard Lyrics:
I think the clock is slow. I don't feel thirty.
The Real Lyrics:
I think the clock is slow. I don't feel tardy.
The Story: It would make some sense. The band members were about 30 years old when the song came out, and it's about looking back to their youth. - Submitted by: Dave Schulz
Van Halen's, "Hot For Teacher"
The Misheard Lyrics:
I've got it made
Got it made
Got it made.
The Real Lyrics:
I've got it bad
Got it bad
Got it bad.
The Story: I used to be a dancer at this place called Teaser's Palace. I worked there with a bunch of girls, one who was really stuck on herself in the worst way. I used to have to get ready with her in the dressing room. Whenever I heard her sing this song wrong, I wanted to choke her. - Submitted by: Cara Croft
Van Halen's, "Ice Cream Man"
The Misheard Lyrics:
I got one hot banana pop, Dixie cups, all flavors and push-ups too.
The Real Lyrics:
I got puddin' pie banana, Dixie Cups All flavors, and push-ups, too.
The Story: The correct lyrics are " I got puddin' pie banana, Dixie Cups All flavors, and push-ups, too. DLR stated in an interview in 1999. - Submitted by: Mike
Van Halen's, "Jump"
The Misheard Lyrics:
Ah, I might as well jump. Jump!
Maxwell Jump
The Real Lyrics:
Ah, I might as well jump. Jump!
Might as well jump.
The Story: - Submitted by: KP
Van Halen's, "Jump"
The Misheard Lyrics:
Can't you see me standin' here,
I got my back against the record machine
The Real Lyrics:
Can't you see me standin' here,
I got my back against the wrecking machine
The Story: For years, everybody thought Roth said 'record machine'. Well, if you watch Van Halen Video Hits Vol. 1 from Warner Bros. on vhs or dvd, if you turn the 'close captioning' option on, you'll find out he said 'wrecking machine'. Not funny, but just correct. - Submitted by: Doug Erdmann
Van Halen's, "Jump"
The Misheard Lyrics:
Can't you see me standin' here
I got my back against the record industry.
The Real Lyrics:
Can't you see me standin' here
I got my back against the record machine.
The Story: A DJ buddy of mine told me that someone in the record biz thought these were the real lyrics. - Submitted by: John Staton
Van Halen's, "Jump"
The Misheard Lyrics:
Can't you see me standin' here?
I got my back against the racket machine.
The Real Lyrics:
Can't you see me standin' here?
I got my back against the record machine.
The Story: I was young and I'm Dutch. At the time, my English wasn't that good! - Submitted by: Remco
Van Halen's, "Jump"
The Misheard Lyrics:
I'll eat the warts that you've seen.
The Real Lyrics:
I ain't the worst that you've seen.
The Story: My sister took great pleasure in correcting me on this. - Submitted by: Lisa
Van Halen's, "Jump"
The Misheard Lyrics:
Maxwell Joe
Joe!
The Real Lyrics:
Might as well jump
Jump!
The Story: My friend actually got busted singing these lyrics out loud with a group of girlfriends in a car. When his first child was born, a friend sent a stuffed hippo named 'Maxwell Joe'. - Submitted by: Anne M (s.)
Van Halen's, "Jump"
The Misheard Lyrics:
Maxwell Jump
The Real Lyrics:
Might as well jump.
The Story: My parents thought this song was about somebody named Maxwell Jump. - Submitted by: Josh Mosh
Van Halen's, "Jump"
The Misheard Lyrics:
Maxwell, jump. Jump! Maxwell, jump.
Go ahead, jump. Jump!
The Real Lyrics:
Might as well jump. Jump! Might as well jump.
Go ahead, jump. Jump!
The Story: I thought they were talking about some guy named Maxwell and getting him to jump. - Submitted by: Tail-Gunner
Van Halen's, "Jump"
The Misheard Lyrics:
Maxwell, jump
Go ahead, jump!
The Real Lyrics:
Might as well jump
Go ahead, jump!
The Story: I thought it was about the suicide of Robert Maxwell, the newspaer tycoon. - Submitted by: Mr B
Van Halen's, "Jump"
The Misheard Lyrics:
You've got to roll with the punches and get to Montreal
The Real Lyrics:
You've got to roll with the punches and gets to whats real
The Story: My husband argued with me for years the David Lee Roth must be from Canada because he mentions Montreal in the song Jump. I was recently able to prove he was wrong. - Submitted by: Amber
Van Halen's, "Panama"
The Misheard Lyrics:
Animal!
The Real Lyrics:
Panama!
The Story: I was 17 when this song was popular and I loved it. I was driving somewhere with my friend and his dorky dad, Stu, who was singing 'Animal'! Steve and I in unison were both saying, 'Wait! What are you singing?' - Submitted by: Mike
Van Halen's, "Panama"
The Misheard Lyrics:
At you, burning down the avenue
The Real Lyrics:
Hot shoe, burnin' down the avenue
The Story: cheap radio, back in the day - Submitted by: denzel
Van Halen's, "Panama"
The Misheard Lyrics:
Canada, Canada
The Real Lyrics:
Panama, Panama
The Story: My husband first heard this song when he was a young kid. He was playing basketball with some older kids in the neigborhood and thought he'd be cool and sing the song. 'Canada, Canada' - they wouldn't stop laughing at him! - Submitted by: Lisa
Van Halen's, "Panama"
The Misheard Lyrics:
Cannibals!
The Real Lyrics:
Panama!
The Story: It wasn't actualy me who misheard the lyrics. It was a guy I used to work with. We caught him one day while he was singing along to the radio in a loud machine shop. - Submitted by: E-Man
Van Halen's, "Panama"
The Misheard Lyrics:
Cannonball
The Real Lyrics:
Panama
The Story: I have always thought that the song was called Cannonball and that is what they said. It wasn't until this morning I heard Van Halen on an old Howard Stern show that I realized the song was actually Panama. - Submitted by: Raney
Van Halen's, "Panama"
The Misheard Lyrics:
Enema! Enema!
The Real Lyrics:
Panama
The Story: My 7 year old daughter and husband were in the truck when this song came on. She heard it and said "Did they just say enema!? That's just weird" - Submitted by: Sara
Van Halen's, "Panama"
The Misheard Lyrics:
Hang 'em all!
The Real Lyrics:
Panama
The Story: When I was young, I thought this song was a typical heavy metal song with grim lyrics. I only later learned the true lyrics of the song. - Submitted by: Susanna Viljanen
Van Halen's, "Panama"
The Misheard Lyrics:
Harry and Maude
The Real Lyrics:
Panama
The Story: My cousins and I were cruising for beer and the song came on the radio. Thinking she was being super cool, our cousin Mary started shouting the chorus at the top of her lungs, 'Harry and Maude!' A couple of us fell out of the car laughing :) - Submitted by: Troy Lake
Van Halen's, "Panama"
The Misheard Lyrics:
Hot Jew, burning down the avenue
The Real Lyrics:
Hot shoe, burning down the avenue
The Story: This lyric kinda makes sense, what with Diamond Dave having a Jewish background. - Submitted by: Tom
Van Halen's, "Panama"
The Misheard Lyrics:
I reach down between my legs and ease my ball sack
The Real Lyrics:
I reach down between my legs and ease the seat back
The Story: This was on Howard Stern's radio program - some guy legally changed his name to Teabag Ballsack because he thought these were the correct lyrics to this song - He has a gay Van Halen band - or something... it was hillarious on the radio - Howard basically played the song and it was quite obvious that they said 'ease the seat back'. Embarassment on the airwaves!!!! Will he change his name? - Submitted by: HSternListener
Van Halen's, "Panama"
The Misheard Lyrics:
I reach down in between my legs and ease the tea bag.
The Real Lyrics:
I reach down in between my legs and ease the seat back.
The Story: So the story goes, a rap artist going by the name 'Tea Bag' was being interviewed on a morning radio program. The guy had gone so far as to legally change his name to 'Tea Bag', and the radio guys were asking him about this name change, asking him where he came up with 'Tea Bag'. The guy says 'Oh, it's from that Van Halen song... you know, 'Reach down, 'between my legs, and Ease the tea bag...' Needless to say, the rapper was rather pissed and embarassed to learn of his mistake. - Submitted by: 5151 Parrothead
Van Halen's, "Panama"
The Misheard Lyrics:
Let it roll, let it ro-oll
The Real Lyrics:
Panama, Panama-a
The Story: My sister sang it this way. She always wondered why the song was called 'Panama' when they never said. I finally turned it up really loud and made her listen closely. For over a decade she'd been singing it wrong! - Submitted by: Cathie
Van Halen's, "Panama"
The Misheard Lyrics:
Padded Braw, Padded Braw
The Real Lyrics:
Panama, Panama
The Story: Was riding in a car when my younger cousin started signing along and blurted Padded Braw with every confidence that he was absolutly correct. - Submitted by: Bradley Spear
Van Halen's, "Panama"
The Misheard Lyrics:
Padded bra!
The Real Lyrics:
Panama!
The Story: My friend freaked when he found out that it was really "Panama". He said he'd thought they said 'Padded bra' for years. He was very embarrassed by this. - Submitted by: Pcp
Van Halen's, "Panama"
The Misheard Lyrics:
Padded bra
The Real Lyrics:
Panama
The Story: I heard somebody several years back on the radio in California call in for misheard lyrics. They were in another room of the house and the stereo was in the living room. Anyway the album had just come out and this person was hearing the song for the first time and thought it said 'padded bra', until running into the living room to get a better listen and then realizing what the words really were. - Submitted by: john settle
Van Halen's, "Panama"
The Misheard Lyrics:
Playin' in mud.
The Real Lyrics:
Panama!
The Story: Never knew the title at first, thought it was a dumb thing for Van Halen to sing about...playing in mud.! Then I heard the title 2 years later.... - Submitted by: Davud Hamill
Van Halen's, "Panama"
The Misheard Lyrics:
Reach down between my legs, ease the seed bag
The Real Lyrics:
Reach down between my legs, ease the seat back
The Story: My fiancée was singing it like this. - Submitted by: Duckie
Van Halen's, "Panama"
The Misheard Lyrics:
Reach down,
between my legs,
and ease the skin back
The Real Lyrics:
Reach down,
between my legs
and ease the seat back
The Story: I once commented the David Lee Roth must not have been circumcised. When asked why I thought this, I responded, because in the song, Panama, he says, 'reach down, between my legs and ease the skin back' - Submitted by: CAROL HEARN
Van Halen's, "Panama"
The Misheard Lyrics:
cannon ball
The Real Lyrics:
Panama
The Story: was riding home with a friend, when this song came on the radio. I started singing cannon ball and she said it's panama. I said are you sure, and she said yes I'm sure. - Submitted by: cody baily
Van Halen's, "Running With The Devil"
The Misheard Lyrics:
God damn the Navy and all you lifers
I'm gonna tell you one time.
The Real Lyrics:
God damn it lady you know I ain't lyin'
I'm gonna tell you one time.
The Story: A buddy (ex-navy) was certain DLR said Navy, and claimed DLR's dad was a doctor in the Navy. Wrong on both counts! - Submitted by: GH
Van Halen's, "Running With The Devil"
The Misheard Lyrics:
Got no love, no love in Korea.
The Real Lyrics:
Got no love, no to call real.
The Story: My moron friend in high school was singing this at the top of his lungs while playing the cassette in his car. - Submitted by: Sean
Van Halen's, "Running With The Devil"
The Misheard Lyrics:
Running with the deadbolt
The Real Lyrics:
Running with the devil
The Story: One day I over-heard my 5 year old daughter singing along to 'Running With The Devil' by 'Van Halen' and man, it's hard to keep from laughing! - Submitted by: Rick
Van Halen's, "So Good"
The Misheard Lyrics:
Hey Rico!
The Real Lyrics:
Here we go!
The Story: My girlfriend thought that Sammy was talking about his friend 'Rico', to which he was telling the story. - Submitted by: Khan
Van Halen's, "Tatoo"
The Misheard Lyrics:
C*ck meat salad No Trans Fat
The Real Lyrics:
Swap meet Sally Tramp Stamp Tat
The Story: My brother heard this song on the radio one day at work and thought he heard the misheard lyrics. - Submitted by: Travenous
Van Halen's, "Unchained"
The Misheard Lyrics:
Blue-eyed minor in a size five dress.
The Real Lyrics:
Blue-eyed murder in a size five dress.
The Story: I heard my husband, who is the biggest VH fan in the world, sing these lyrics one day. When I disagreed, we had a friendly argument that lasted off and on about two weeks. He even mocked 'my version,' until I finally got my proof. Funny, turns out that his best friend from childhood had also argued the same thing since the song came out. Of course, I let his friend know that he and I were the winners. We will never let him live it down. Ah, victory! - Submitted by: Rhubes
Van Halen's, "When It's Love"
The Misheard Lyrics:
Waiting for someone to come into monies
Teach you your final location
The Real Lyrics:
Waiting for someone to come in to focus
Teach you your final love lesson.
The Story: My misheard lyrics gave the impression of a gold digger waiting around for a sugardaddy or sugarmommy to come along, so I knew it had to be wrong. I can't believe the word is 'focus'. I'll have to listen to it again. - Submitted by: Brian

There are more Van Halen misheard lyrics available.

Indexes: [#] [A] [B] [C] [D] [E] [F] [G] [H] [I] [J] [K] [L] [M] [N] [O] [P] [Q] [R] [S] [T] [U] [V] [W] [Y] [Z]

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